Chapter 4.

...■■■...

“I miss you, Bakageyama.” Hinata said as he caressed Tobio's cheek. He looked angelic, his touch was soft and warm.

Suddenly, his smile turned into a frown and blood started dripping from his head.

Horror filled his face and their surrounding turned dark. Hinata's eyes turned dull and empty, like a doll's.

“You're a liar. I hate you.”------

Kageyama woke up in a cold sweat.

The only thing illuminating the dark, gloomy room was his alarm clock, proudly displaying the time.

...1:57 AM....

Kageyama rolled over to face the wall, attempting to shake off his dream of Hinata, his bright smile and his loving gaze, that somehow turned into a nightmare.

Heartbreak hit him once again as he cried his eyes out. Attempting but failing.

Kageyama’s mind kept drawing back to what he read in Hinata’s journal.

How could he be so blind? How could he not have known?

What did he do?

Why can’t he remember?

Grunting, he picked up the journal once more and opened the bedside lamp.

He was already at the 6th page, an entry that was made December 2018.

...“I talked to Kageyama today. It’s the first time we have ever had a conversation about something other than volleyball. Something meaningful and I really enjoyed it. We talked about our future… together.”...

Oh. That time when I went to MSBY’s practice gym.

...“I wish it had played out like a scene from a movie or a book. Him standing there, the sakura petals dancing in the wind. We’d both lean in for the first time and then our lips would meet and It would be perfect because it would be with Kageyama…”...

...“But that’s not how it happened. He just said a simple ‘goodbye’ and turned our separate ways. Like usual.”...

I broke up with him… because of Atsumu-san, Kageyama realizes.

...“I thought it would be okay. That we would just get back together.”...

...“Diary, we have broken up for 6 times now and we have gotten back 5 times…”...

...“But I’m sure Kageyama doesn’t know that. He doesn’t care about those stuff.”...

...“I just hope that he will talk to me again once he has calmed down.”...

...“I just hope the sky is beautiful, wherever you are, Kageyama.”...

...■■■...

“Oh, Suga-san.”

Koushi looks up from his phone and finds Kageyama at the entrance of the ramen house they’re meeting up in.

“Speaking of the devil.” Sugawara snickers and waves, “Hello.”

“Hey. What’d you mean, speaking of the devil?” Kageyama opens the door for the older. “Talking about me behind my back?”

“Something like that.” Suga jokes, and gets in before Kageyama.

“What--!”

“I’m joking.” Sugawara closes his phone and slips it into his back pocket. Kageyama caught a glimpse.

It was Hinata.

Kageyama frowns, remembering when Sugawara mentioned that he texted Hinata every now and then.

Why was Sugawara looking at his old texts with Shoyo?

“It’s good that you came! We thought you wouldn’t.” Koushi says as he heads to their reserved table.

“Geez, I’m not that much of a snob.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really!”

Sugawara and Kageyama sat, Tanaka and Daichi are already there. The two said hi before being handed a menu.

“Kageyama, what are you up to these days?” Tanaka asked, playing with the pile of chopsticks.

“Oh you know, nothing much. The team’s resting right now since we have a game soon.” Kageyama opens the menu and looks. “…and I was given time off, so was Ushijima-san.”

“That’s good…” Daichi trails off.

“Are you… planning to continue to play?” Daichi wearily asks.

“To be honest, I’m kind of 50-50.”

“How come?” Tanaka asks.

“Because he doesn’t have a rival anymore.” Sugawara answers for Kageyama. He notices that he spoke up, so he covers his mouth. “S-sorry.”

Tobio eyes Koushi. How’d he know that?

“It’s fine. And you’re right, Hinata’s one of the reasons why I’m still playing. And… the other 50 is because I just don’t want to leave the team when they trust me so much.”

“I think Shoyo would be happier if you continued playing.” Sugawara speaks up, no hint of stopping from his sentence this time. “He mentioned to me before that he wants to watch Kageyama rise to the very top. So, I think if Kageyama stops now, especially if it’s because of Shoyo, I think he would be sad.”

“Sounds about right…” Daichi purses his lips and looks at Kageyama. “Haha--I didn’t know you were already on a first name basis with Hinata, Suga.”

“Ah. Right.” Koushi laughs it off. “Well, it just caught on.”

“I agree with Suga-san.” Tanaka rests his cheek into his palm. “But it all depends on you Kageyama. Whatever makes you happy and comfortable, go for it.”

“Yep. Thanks.”

Slowly, everyone else starts to arrive.

They haven’t seen each other since Hinata’s… ceremony…

They couldn’t get the chance back then to talk. So they all decided to meet up.

And when they’re complete, everyone started to order and eat.

It was going smoothly, it wasn’t awkward or anything.

Everyone was careful of what to say, though there would be times when Tsukishima would be purposely obnoxious towards Kageyama, and every time he did, Yamaguchi or Sugawara would either flick or hit him.

It’s unclear as to why Tsukishima’s attacking Kageyama while the boy isn’t doing anything to threaten him.

Everyone assumes that it’s just his nature to displease Kageyama. Maybe it’s unintentional and is just a bad habit.

But Daichi swears that he would sometimes catch Tsukishima aiming a glare towards Kageyama.

Weird, Daichi thought.

There’s surely a lot of things everyone doesn’t know.

“What about you, Kageyama, what’s your most fond memory of Shoyo?” Tsukishima asked, head slightly tilted while viscous eyes darted to Tobio.

They didn’t know Tsukishima called Shoyo by his first, too.

Kageyama tucks his lips in, not knowing what to say, as he’s starting to get annoyed by Tsukishima.

The atmosphere drifts to discomfort. At the same time, Yamaguchi and Sugawara lunge their elbows into Tsukishima’s sides.

“What? Isn’t it Kageyama who’s always by Shoyo’s side? Why is it that he’s the one who’s got nothing to say?”

“Tsukki, Kageyama’s having a hard time talking about him…”

“Right, leave Kageyama alone, won’t you? Go easy–”

“Hell no. I’m going hard on him on purpose.”

“Oi, Tsu-kki!”

“F*ck it. I’m leaving.”

Tsukishima rolls his eyes, takes his things and walks off–leaving everyone in a state of shock and confusion.

“Wait, what just happened?” Asahi rubs his nape, trying his best to process the recent turn of events. “What did he mean, going hard on Kageyama on purpose?”

“Did you two fight?” Ennoshita follows up.

“Can’t help but notice that he’s especially salty towards Kageyama lately, too.”

“He’s Saltyshima for a reason…”

“But he’s doing it in a different sense.”

“Kageyama?”

Kageyama is rubbing his brow bones. He does this to calm himself down. Hinata used to do it for him, Hinata isn’t around anymore. Not anymore.

“I don’t know what’s up with him. I don’t understand either–please don’t bombard me with questions I can’t answer.”

“Right… okay, sorry.”

“Yamaguchi, you aren’t going to chase after him?”

“No, I think he needs his space.”

Sugawara sighed. This is a disaster.

They wouldn’t have scheduled a gathering if they knew it would turn out like this.

From then on, Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi tried to lift up the atmosphere. But it’s already spoilt, and the atmosphere that was going smoothly earlier cannot be brought back.

“…ah. How is Tsukishima going to pay?”

“Leave it to me, I’ll just pay for him for now.” Yamaguchi takes out his card.

...■■■...

Tsukishima is stomping, and it’s unusual. Because he’s always light on his feet. And he never lets his anger get to him. He knows how to handle annoying things, the urge to break down, especially.

He's cool-headed and rational.

But right now…

He’s bothered and mad. He hates seeing Kageyama’s face. It ticks him off–even more than before. He hates what Kageyama did to Hinata.

The very thought of what Kageyama did makes Tsukishima want to throw and drown Kageyama under a bridge—his anger is so excessive that it’s childish.

But no one except himself would understand the emotions he’s feeling.

“Truly,” Tsukishima stops in his tracks, bringing his hand up to his forehead as he looks at the blue sky. “There is more to this than what meets the eye.”

...■■■...

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