Chapter 14.

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“Miya! Nice game.” Hoshiumi crawled under the next after a 5 set match. It was 3-2, Atsumu’s team wasn't the best right now. He’s handed a bottle of energy drink and Hoshiumi accepts it. “Thanks.”

“Same.” Atsumu says plainly, wiping his sweat after giving out the energy drinks. “We’ll beat you next time.”

“Heh, looking forward to that.” Hoshiumi opens the bottle and spurts the content inside of his mouth. While doing so, he looks around for Kageyama. To check on him.

He’s sitting in the corner quietly with Sachiro.

Which reminds him, Kageyama is Hinata’s ex. So is Atsumu. So that’s something they have in common--it’s not really something to bond about, but maybe the two could understand each other.

With that thought, Hoshiumi whispered to Atsumu, “How are you doing?”

“Just fine.” Atsumu answers without much enthusiasm or emotion. “Thanks for asking. Why are you whispering?”

“I thought that maybe you and Kageyama could understand each other, you know? And...”

“This conversation’s over.” Atsumu sighed and left Hoshiumi, making his way to Bokuto.

Hoshiumi’s a little confused. What? I thought they were friends?

“Wait.” Hoshiumi notices it. The hostility of Atsumu and Sakusa towards Kageyama. It’s not obvious of one isn't paying attention, but since Hoshiumi’s keeping an eye on Kageyama--he couldn't ignore it.

How Atsumu would aim his sets and spikes towards Kageyama, and when Kegayama came in, the two weren't very welcoming of him. He remembers Atsumu and Sakusa’s face when Kageyama came in. They whispered to each other, and eventually stopped when Bokuto also caught on.

What’s wrong? If it was just Atsumu, Hoshiumi honestly wouldn't mind it. But Sakusa? Something’s up and Hoshiumi wants to know. But he knows he can't just ask because it looked personal.

We aren't kids anymore, he thought, so this must be something serious.

He wants to know, not because he’s nosy, but because he wants to help. This isn't going to help Kageyama get better. Neither will it give any sort of convenience to Atsumu or Sakusa, it’s been a few months since Shoyo's death, and it’s obvious they haven't moved on yet, so they should be there for each other. Not like this, when they're against each other.

Hoshiumi sighs and walks towards Kageyama to ask about the matter (but in a lowkey way), he sits next to the boy.

“How was the game for you?” Hoshiumi asks as an intro, “You were a little slow.”

“Yeah. Sorry, it’s been a while.” Kageyama wipes the sweat on his temple, “My sets were bad, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Hoshiumi smiles and leans back, “So… you and Miya.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you two…” Hoshiumi tries to make something with his hands, “Bad blood? or s-something?”

Lowkey my a*s, you suck, Hoshiumi.

Kageyama looks at the opposite side of the court, then he shrugs. “I don't think so. Why?”

Oh. I guess I'm just overreacting then?

“Nothing, nothing.” Hoshiumi shakes his head, “And Sakusa?”

“He and I don't really talk.” Kageyama answers honestly, but he gets a feeling thet Sakusa loathes him, “And we aren't close.”

“I see.” Hoshiumi purses his lips, that wasn't very lowkey. “By the way… are you and Miya like… since the two of you are exes of the same person…,” he pauses, careful to not really mention the deceased. “You know.”

“We aren't girls.”

“Yeah, but--”

“I don't really understand what you're trying to say.” Kageyama lets out a heavy breath, “And… can we not talk about him?”

“Yeah… yeah. Sorry.”

“Akaa--shi!” The two hear from the other side, it’s Bokuto’s bright voice. The boy’s running to the door with his arms wide open, and the said person’s walking towards them with a smile.

“Hello.” Akaashi smiled and pats his boyfriend’s head as they hugged. Atsumu and Sakusa are following behind Bokuto, so Akaashi bows. “Did I miss the game?”

“Yeah.” Bokuto frowned, “You missed it, I got a few cross shots in and they were like baaam and puwaah! ”

Akaashi giggles and wipes his boyfriend’s sweat with his sleeves. “I'm sorry I missed it. I had a lot of work to finish.”

“It’s okay.” Bokuto smiles.

I'm relieved, Akaashi thought as he cupped his boyfriend's cheek. “Who won?” He asks Atsumu as Bokuto hugs him again, burying their face into his neck.

“Them, 3-2.” Atsumu scratches his neck. “How was work?”

“Busy.” Akaashi combs his boyfriend's hair gently and mouths, “How is he?”

“Pretty good.” Atsumu mouths back.

“In the first game, he wasn't very into it yet.” Sakusa added, mouthing as well.

“Tell me about the game later, Bokuto-san. Let me buy you three something.” Akaashi pushes Bokuto’s shoulders away softly so he could kiss their forehead.

“Okay.” Bokuto giggled and looked at Atsumu and Sakusa. “But we should shower first.”

“Yes, please…” Sakusa agrees and turns around first to go to the bath. “Atsumu, tell Hoshiumi and the others to feel free to use our bath… later…”

“Pfft.” Atsumu crosses his arms and watches Sakusa leave with Bokuto.

“How is he?” Akaashi asks Atsumu quietly.

“I don't know.” Atsumu shrugs, “He doesn't tell me things…”

“Until now?”

“I don't think Sakusa will ever open up to any of us. He only opened up to Shoyo and look what... I think he doesn't want to trust anyone with the same amount of trust he had for Shoyo anymore.” Atsumu trails, “We can't push him to talk, he’ll only push us away further. We can't let that happen.”

“And you?” Akaashi looks at the boy who needs to dye his hair again. “How are you doing?”

“Y’know,” he shrugged, “Better, I guess. I don't really know, honestly.”

“Like, I haven't been breaking down and I haven't cried because of him in a while.”

“I still think about him, I always do, and I don't think that’s going to change…”

“But I…?” Atsumu hums, “I just thought that if I stayed like that for too long, Shoyo would probably haunt me and tell me to move on personally.” He jokes.

“And besides, I'm sure Hinata would hate me if I stopped playing because of him. And, you know? It’s crazy but it kind of feels nice to think that he’s watching over me like an angel.”

“And with that in mind, it kinda inspires me to do better.”

“You are getting better.” Akaashi smiles and pats Atsumu’s back. “You're right. I don't think Hinata would be happy if you mourned for too long. The few weeks and a month was good enough, but three months? He'll throw you a volleyball from heaven.”

“I know right?!” Atsumu smiles back. “Excuse me, I’ll talk with the others. We’ll meet you at the lounge.”

“Okay.”

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Atsumu finished the same time as Kageyama, so the two are awkwardly getting dressed in the locker room while Sakusa and Bokuto are already cleaning up and ready to go. Bokuto leaves the moment he finishes so that he could go to his boyfriend, Sakusa stays to watch over Atsumu.

Once the two were done getting dressed, Kageyama goes to Atsumu to talk with him.

“Miya-san.” He calls, gripping the strap of his bag. He watched the boy brush as they sat down and tied their casual shoes. “Can I talk to you?”

“About what?” Atsumu asks, not sparing Kageyama a glance as he’s unprepared and doesn't have a plan to actually communicate with the guy.

“The diary.” Kageyama answered and scratched his nape, “I--uh… get the idea of needing it more but… I'm already halfway through but…”

“What?” Atsumu gets up and is on the same eye level as Kageyama. “Look, I don't really want to talk with you right now. So get to the point.”

“What I did.”

Atsumu loses his cool, and he’s frozen on the spot. Sakusa, who’s sitting a few benches away from where Atsumu and Kageyama stood, also froze.

Kageyama gets the reaction he expected. But he didn't think further from this, he thought Atsumu would continue to act unbothered but he’s wrong.

“What do you mean?” Atsumu breaks the sudden silence, impatience and anxiety skyrocketing. His eyes are sharp, and he’s ready to throw Kageyama into one of these lockers and keep him there forever.

“Shoyo never mentioned it directly.”

This makes Atsumu pinch the bridge of his nose as he looked down, Sakusa looked at the two and wanted to pull his friend away from the conversation before anything happens but… he’d be lying if he said that he wasn't curious as to how Atsumu would deal with this kind of situation.

“Can you tell me what it is that I did?”

Atsumu steps back, and it sparks fear within Sakusa. He tries to stand up from the wooden bench to take Atsumu away but his legs don't move.

“Please, Miya-san.” Kageyama lowers his head. “Tell me.”

And that’s what made Atsumu click. “You.” He grabbed Kageyama’s shirt and slammed him into one of the lockers.

“You really had to come and ruin our lives, huh?!”

“Atsumu…!” Sakusa finally gets up, and he’s about to separate the two when Atsumu gives him a signal that he shouldn't interfere.

“Why did you have to come today? Clearly, you're uninvited. You know that right?” Atsumu pulled Kageyama's shirt and slammed him into the locker again. “Why do you have to keep coming into our lives?!”

“I’ll stop when you tell me!” Kageyama holds Atsumu’s fist and tries to shake it off, “So tell me!”

“F*ck you!” Atsumu makes his free hand into a fist and swings it across Kageyama’s face, touching his cheek and nose. “You should be the one who’s dead, not him!”

“Tell me!”

“Use your d*mn brain, Kageyama!” Atsumu breathed, “Remember what you did! What you did to him! Think of his face, his voice and once you finally remember, don't ever forget! Isn't it obvious? Do you already know and you just refuse to believe it?! You are the reason why Shoyo changed! You are the reason for all of this!”

“I said tell me!”

“F*ck off, you sh*thead.”

Atsumu lets go of Kageyama and shakily sighed. “Remember it yourself.” Atsumu steps back, and shudders, wiping his hands aggressively on his jeans. He turned and walked past Sakusa, leaving the locker room.

I thought I was getting better, Atsumu thought as he stomped towards the lounge.

“Atsumu!” Sakusa followed behind him.

I guess it was just because there was nothing to make me feel like this.

“Hey!”

That f*cker just comes and what? Everything crumbles.

“Atsumu!” Sakusa grabs his friend’s hands.

…great.

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