Chapter 13.

...■■■...

...“Hey Diary.”...

...“Today, I talked to Kageyama.”...

...“I thought we would finally make up and he would say sorry... But it was horrible... He was very snappy and he shouted at me.”...

...“But it's okay. It's just because he's stressed. Their team lost in a practice match yesterday so that's why he's very irritable.”...

...“I'm sure Kageyama didn't mean to be rude at me. He's just stressed... right?”...

...■■■...

“Kageyama.” Ushijima calls, peeking from the locker room’s door to check on his friend. “Warming up starts soon.”

He says this in a moderate voice, but it seems like he wasn't heard by Tobio so he raises a brow in confusion, then he looks at the book Kageyama’s reading.

Has he picked up reading? Maybe it was a way to cope, Ushijima thought as he walked in slowly to came closer to the boy. When he’s close enough, he realized that it isn't a book but a journal with messy handwriting. Ushijima’s a few steps away, and Kageyama hasn't realized his presence yet.

It was odd for someone like Kageyama to be so zoned out like that.

Ushijima sits beside Tobio, and that’s when he’s finally noticed.

“Ushijima-san.” Kageyama bows, “Is there something wrong?”

“Training starts soon.” Ushijima answers, then takes a look at what Kageyama’s reading. He doesn't ask about it despite his curiosity. Instead, he asks, “How are you doing?”

“Oh… uh,” Kageyama pauses to think, “I would be lying if I said I was any better. But I'm holding up.” His eyes return to the textbook. “Just… a lot of things are on my mind. What about you?”

“I'm doing okay.” Ushijima says straightforwardly, hands on his knees while he’s sitting up straight.

“As expected from you.” Kageyama sighs and closes Hinata’s diary. “Let’s go, let’s not make everyone else wait.”

The two of them gets up and Tobio just puts the diary in his locker before going out with Ushijima to go to the court. The two of them were momentarily greeted by Hoshiumi, then they are told to come faster so that they could start already.

“Where’d you two go?” Hoshiumi whispered to Kageyama and Ushijima as they started stretching. With their legs spread on the ground, they reached for the floor with their hands and grabbed their ankles.

“Nowhere. Ushijima-san fetched me from the locker room.” Kageyama whispers back and he pulls his chest closer to his feet. “Did you wait long?”

“Nah, I was just exaggerating.” Hoshiumi snickers, Kageyama and Ushijima give him a cold expression. “Geez! Don't look at me like that.”

“Hoshiumi!” Their captain shushed, and Hoshiumi purses his lips after saying sorry. “Make sure you all stretch well.”

“Yes, captain!”

After warming up, the drills started. Everything’s going normally, well, Kageyama’s a little off but that’s just the new norm. His sets aren't very precise, no one blames him. He’s always at the back when jogging, no one talks about it. He makes a lot of mistakes when serving, blocking and receiving--no one minds it.

As of now, because everyone knows he’s having a hard time. No one knows how he feels, what he’s going through and what the situation is for him, so no one really knows the right thing to say.

They just gave him space and time. The team’s also been supportive to the three. But of course, Kageyama especially.

After a few hours of training, few serves and few practice blocks, the official training for the day ended. Kageyama’s sitting in the corner with Hoshiumi, catching their breaths while chugging down an energy drink.

“Haaah!” Hoshiumi throws his head back and leans it against the wall, exhaling deeply and wiping the sweat off the side of his face with his forearm. “It’s good to have you back, Kageyama.”

“Hmm?” Kageyama turns to look then he tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s good that you're participating in training again. I honestly thought that you would take a month or longer break, but I'm happy that you're starting to get back on your feet?”

“Haha.” Kageyama laughs awkwardly, “Does it look like that?” He puts the now empty bottle down, crossing his legs and leaning forward. “Well, it helps me distract myself from things and...” He hums, “I don't want to be lagging behind all of you.”

“That’s right,” Hoshiumi smiles, “But don't force yourself.”

“Yes, thank you.” Kageyama smiles back. “Let’s go, I'm tired.”

“Same.” Hoshiumi huffs as he gets up with Kageyama and heads to the locker room to get their things for the shower.

After showering and getting into comfy clothing, everyone heads to their dorms. Among the seven members of the Adlers, Kageyama’s the only one who has a whole room to himself.

Firstly, because he’s the newest member and he turns out to be an odd number. Secondly, is because he said that he’s uncomfortable with sharing rooms with people, and even more after Hinata’s death.

So if the Adlers ever recruits someone new someday, that person would also have a room to themselves.

Now, Kageyama’s on the bottom bunk of his bunk bed. He’s lying on his belly while he’s reading Hinata’s journal. It’s been 3 months since he’s received it. He’s learned a lot of things about Hinata and the people around him, as well as the emotions that he feels everyday.

What Kageyama hasn't learned though, is the thing he’s most curious about. He wonders if he’ll ever find out, he wonders if Hinata ever wrote it in the diary.

He hopes that if Hinata did, he’s ready.

On the page he’s on, Hinata’s talking about Tsukishima visiting the MSBY headquarters to take Hinata out for lunch and to teach him Portuguese because the blonde was somehow curious.

...“I think Tsukki’s just making excuses for me to go out and socialize. HAHAHA Because it looks like he already knows Portuguese. And he probably does. I don't mind though, seeing him act like he’s learning something from me is cute.”...

It continues after a little space,

...“I saw Tsukki and Tsumu talking earlier. I think they're talking about me . I dunno why but I hope they aren't talking about me badly.”...

Hinata scribbles a tornado until the last line of the page, at the end it said in the messiest handwriting ever.

...“I asked Tsumu about it and he said that he just wanted to check if anything happened with me today. THEN! HE! KISSED ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”...

Kageyama sighs and leaves the textbook to fall on the mattress. There it is again, Hinata being taken care by Tsukishima and Atsumu. On other days it would be Kenma, then it would be Koushi.

But it’s usually Tsukishima and Atsumu lately, for Atsumu, it’s because they're literally in the same headquarters. For Tsukishima… Kageyama’s sure he just wants to see Hinata all the time.

It’s obvious he’s grown attached to the boy, considering that he literally took a break from college to be with Hinata more, and that he comes to the MSBY dorms even when it’s a little far from his home.

But… well, rather than attached, he’s a little too protective and over-worries about Hinata. Hinata has mentioned it a lot and Kageyama’s already lost count. Shoyo claims that Tsukishima treats him like a little bird that hurts it’s wings. He’s careful, gentle and kind. Opposite of the Saltyshima everyone knows.

But Hinata always says that he doesn't mind and loves how Tsukishima treats him now, the blonde even spoils him sometimes.

Shoyo also mentions something about Atsumu getting jealous of Tsukishima sometimes. But then, he also said that Atsumu’s accepting of his relationship with Tsukishima because Atsumu can kind of see that Hinata finds most comfort in the blonde.

And, well, he isn’t really possessive of Hinata, nor does he get jealous of the other people that Hinata’s surrounded himself with. Because Atsumu’s matured like that, and it’s not like he should be restricting Hinata anyway. No relationship should be like that.

Thinking about it now, Kageyama admits that he was a little like that when he was together with Hinata.

So… in that way, Atsumu’s better than him at being a good boyfriend.

Hinata mentioned once that Kei admitted that Atsumu and Tsukishima agreed to take turns on taking care of him. Hinata said that he found it annoying and unnecessary, but he was still grateful because he had great people around him.

Hinata says this every now and then, and he’s never really straight to the point. But it goes along the lines of,

...“With everyone taking care of me, I think I'm slowly starting to get over what happened to me.”...

What happened exactly…?

Kageyama sighs loudly, turning on his back to stare at the bottom of the top bunk.

“It’s something I did while I was drunk. And they say it’s a deed enough to call me a criminal. And that… It's what started Hinata to be wary of a lot of things.” Kageyama trailed, eyes fluttering close as he thought. “What was it…?”

It’s also enough for Tsukishima to want me to rot in hell, I mean, a lot of people have become weird around me… if they hate me so much, why don't they just say it straight to my face?

Why did they say that Hinata has forgiven me?

“If it… really is the reason why Hinata… I don’t know what I’ll do…”

I shouldn't drink anymore. Or at least, moderately. I can't let anything like this happen again.

...■■■...

The next day, Kageyama ends up sleeping in until the afternoon. It wasn't anything new, and no one really bothered to wake him up because he could always train by himself. He doesn't feel like doing anything today, so he stayed in bed longer than he thought.

He just lied there, staring at whatever while his thoughts processed things like ‘Wow, I woke up again’ and ‘I want to go back to sleep’.

He gets up right before lunch, he showered first before having the first meal of the day. He joins Ushijima and Wakatoshi’s table. He doesn't finish his food, which is normal nowadays.

The two waits for him to finish and while doing so, Hoshiumi’s doing the talking. Ushijima talks, too, just not a lot. No one really minds it because he’s just like that.

“I'm leaving the headquarters later, that’s why I started training super early today.” Hoshiumi mentions to Ushijima, “I didn't know that you wake up so early.”

“Ah, I'm actually going out, too.” Ushijima collects the trays while Kageyama stacks up all the dishes. They placed theirs on the top since it isn't empty. “With friends from high school.”

“Oh! Same.” Hosiumi beamed. “What about Kageyama, are you going out today? You need to go out more. Get some sunshine, you know?!”

My sunshine died...

“I don't really feel like going out lately.”

“Which is exactly why you should join us.”

“Us?”

“I'm meeting with Sakusa, Miya and Sachiro.”

“I didn't know you were close with Sakusa-san and Miya-san.” Kageyama stands up and helps Ushijima dispose of their things.

“Well. We’re just going to play volleyball.” Hoshiumi shrugs, “Want to join?! They could invite Bokuto so that it’s 3V3!”

“I…”

“Hoshiumi, you might be pressuring Kageyama.” Ushijima cuts in, they’re all cleaning their hands now.

“Am I?” Hoshiumi looks at Kageyama, “You don't have to join us if you don't want to. I'm just inviting you.”

“...I don't think I’m going to be welcomed by the other players.”

“Why not?”

Kageyama shrugs.

“I doubt that! Even if that's true, ignore it. I’ll handle them for you.”

“...thanks. Okay. I guess I’ll join.”

“That’s the spirit!”

The three proceed to the lounge to rest.

“If you change your mind, just tell me. Okay?!” Hoshiumi says as he hits Kageyama’s side lightly. “I'm not forcing you into anything, so no pressure!”

Kageyama chuckles. “Yes. Thank you.”

...■■■...

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