Chapter 7.

...■■■...

The buzzing of Kozume’s phone is what woke him up in the early afternoon. He opens his eyes to only be blinded by the scorching light that escaped the blinds that he unfortunately left open the whole night.

He clicked his tongue and turned to the other side, taking his phone from the bedside table to silence it, not even bothering to check who it was that was calling. He groaned, closing his eyes again and wanting to go back to sleep.

He couldn’t anymore, as his brain started to function, it had begun to remind him of his sorrows.

Kozume cursed and sat up, scratching his long dry hair and tying it into a low bun. He blinked a few times, processing that he’s awake. Alive and breathing.

Slowly, he turned to his phone, sluggishly picking it up and checking his notifications.

He has a few missed calls from Kuroo, Bokuto and Tsukishima. The first thing he does is check his texts.

Tetsu: Is everyone coming today?

Tsukki: I’m on my way.

Tetsu: Me toooo.

Tetsu: What about you Bo?

Bokkun: AKAASHI IS DRIVING ME THERE

Tetsu: noice.

Tetsu: Anyone who knows where Kenma is?

Bokkun: Ah I tried calling him earlier but didn’t answer.

Tsukki: Same

Tsukki: He’s probably asleep or working.

Kozume types,

Kodzuken: JWU

Kodzuken: BRB OMW

Tetsu: On your way to the bathroom, hmm?

Kenma looks at the group chat.

It was the group chat that Hinata created. Shoyo was also the one who made the nicknames. He was also the one who named the group, MIPIML, which apparently meant, ‘Most Important People In My Life.’

Kozume checks his other messages before he puts his phone down.

A part of him is still waiting for a text message from Hinata.

He gets up to take a shower. After his shower, he gets dressed, just his usual oversized shirt and pants. He made sure he brought his phone, wallet, and PSP.

“Hello, Shoyo.” He said with a quiet voice, sitting down on one of his leather sofas and picking up a picture frame of Hinata in Brazil.

It was a rainy day in Tokyo that day, but in Brazil it was exceptionally sunny. In the photograph, Hinata is smiling so brightly. Behind him is the beach and a volleyball net.

Kozume remembers clearly, Hinata sent that photo with the caption “I miss you, Kenmaaaa! I wish you were here.”

The memory brings a bitter smile to Kozume’s face. A bitter smile with hurtful eyes, you’d hate to see it. His whole living room is full of pictures of Hinata.

And let me tell you this right now, he isn’t obsessed… at least… that’s what he says.

Kenma Kozume is most definitely not obsessed. He just loves Hinata. Like a whole lot, that you could mistake it as an obsession.

With the burning memory from this morning, Kenma wonders; How do people start and end a relationship?

Surely, Hinata would be one to answer. As he’s been in and out of relationship with Kageyama. And is ‘currently’ with Atsumu.

Atsumu has no plan of breaking off his relationship with Hinata, even when he’s gone.

If Kenma remembers correctly, Atsumu mentioned something about dying alone if it meant his loyalty towards Hinata. It sounds stupid because no one ever questioned his loyalty towards Shoyo. He’s just… how would one call it? He doesn’t know how to let go. Like many of his friends.

Kenma’s one of those friends.

What should I have done, Shoyo?

“Obviously, being his sponsor wasn’t enough.” Kenma states, putting down the picture frame and picking up another. The one he picked up was Hinata in his MSBY jersey with Bokuto and Sakusa.

The lost one stood in the center, embracing Bokuto and Sakusa. Like always, Bokuto’s wearing an excited emotion meanwhile Sakusa’s wearing his “oh no, germs” face.

Kenma’s sure he did everything he could for Hinata. And yet, his feelings were never reached. At first, Kenma just thought that Hinata was dense towards other people’s emotions towards him. However, Kageyama and Atsumu proved that to be wrong.

…whatever. I’m not getting anywhere with these thoughts.

Kenma puts the picture down and zones out, he tries to quiet down his mind. Even though every time he blinks, he gets to see Hinata’s smile, and every time it is quiet, he can hear whispers or distant laughs that belonged to the sun.

He wonders if it’s like this with the others as well.

He hopes not. It’s pathetic and it could very well drive somebody mad.

“Am I the one who needs therapy after all?” Kenma asked himself, scoffing and rubbing his eyes. He ended up pressing too hard, causing his eyesight to blur for a little while.

With opened eyes, he could see movement around him. As if he wasn’t alone in his empty house.

He’s obviously haunted. Haunted with the thoughts of him. With his memories of him. His smile. His voice. His eyes. The warmth he used to offer.

Everything about Hinata Shoyo haunts Kenma.

And to answer Kenma’s question, it’s not just him.

...■■■...

“We should have Daichi-san imprison Kageyama.” Tsukishima says, sipping from his iced coffee like saying something like that was completely normal.

“We can’t do that, Kei.” Atsumu answers, hand carrying his chin. “We don’t have proof or anything and… Sho said it himself, he doesn’t want Kageyama getting into any trouble.”

“F*cking bullsh*t.” Kenma mutters while playing his PSP.

“I mean, I want to do it. If we want to send him to prison, he has to confess.”

“But he doesn’t even remember what he did.” Atsumu sighs.

“Then we make him remember.” Tsukishima shoots Atsumu a serious stare, Atsumu stares back with the same expression.

“We can’t.”

“Why not--?”

“Hush now. The others are coming.” Kenma warns.

Not everyone in the group knows. They keep the sin a secret, mainly because they don’t want anyone else carrying the burden to know the reason why Hinata gave his life up.

And it scares them that some might take it the wrong way and end up doing what the three are so desperately trying to keep from doing.

Especially Bokuto.

They can never ever let him know what really happened.

It scares them that he would be the one to do it all--imprison Kageyama, punch him, stab him, kill Tobio--without any second thoughts.

Everyone knows just how much Bokuto cares for Hinata, he treats Hinata like his own little brother.

Shoyo, for Bokuto, was the closest thing to be his little brother.

Atsumu fears that if Sakusa finds out, which he already does, Kiyoomi would completely lose his cool. And Atsumu isn’t ready for that.

Kenma doesn’t plan on telling anyone because he solely places the blame on himself. Because he couldn’t help Hinata even though he knew to himself that he could help. He is reminded of that every day, and it tears him continuously.

“Hey! We’re back.” Kuroo greets, placing a tray of different drinks and sweets on their shared table. Bokuto and Sakusa follows behind him.

The six of them met often because of Hinata. Kuroo started to tag along because of Kenma and Bokuto, until he was welcomed and was officially part of the squad.

Squad? Would they call it that? To Hinata, it was family.

“What were you guys talking about? There’s this weird tension…” Bokuto notices, sitting next to Tsukishima and getting his caramel frappe from the tray.

“You got something sweet? That’s unusual.” Tsukishima looks at Bokuto’s drink, ignoring what the boy said.

Bokuto shouldn’t know.

“…yeah. It… it calms me down. The sweetness of it, I mean.”

“I understand, Bokkun.” Atsumu smiles the noticeable tension off. “Anyway. How’s everyone doing? …any better?”

“Yeah… still a little shaken, but I think Sho wouldn’t be happy if we were stuck on him for too long. So, I’m doing a lot better.” Kuroo admits.

The three ignored what he just said. ‘He doesn’t know anything,’ they thought.

“What about Sakusa?” Bokuto asks.

Sakusa shrugs, adjusting his face mask. “I’m not one to worry about.”

‘Yeah, right.’ Atsumu thinks.

“Kenma?”

Kenma doesn’t answer, and that’s normal. That only mean Kenma was not okay, but he has no choice but to hang on.

“…Bokkun?”