Chapter 19

[Scene: The Family Dinner Table – The Courtroom of Judgment]
Seren knew this dinner would be a disaster the second Kieran sat down like he was about to negotiate a peace treaty.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(serious, hands folded) Lady Seren’s Mother, I request an audience regarding my intentions toward your daughter.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
Oh my god. You live here. You see her every day. WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THIS.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
(sipping tea, unimpressed) Proceed.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(dead serious) I seek to court Seren honorably.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
(choking) YOU SEEK TO WHAT NOW?
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
(watching like it's a reality show) Oh, this is getting good.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
Dad, PLEASE.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
And how, exactly, do you plan to support her?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
With my sword.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
…I see. And what does your sword pay in rent? 😑
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(blinking, confused) Honor?
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
(facepalming) STOP TALKING.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
(not impressed) I don’t accept honor as currency.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
I have other skills.
Rina Wagner (fl sis)
Rina Wagner (fl sis)
Like what? Glaring?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
…Yes.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
"…"
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
(laughing) You know, we could put that to use. Seren’s been saying she needs someone to scare off guys at college.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(perking up) EXCELLENT. I accept this duty.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
NO YOU DO NOT.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Seren does not need a bodyguard. She needs a stable, responsible partner.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
I am stable. I have never fallen off my horse.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
"…"
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
MOTHER, I SWEAR, I AM LOSING YEARS OFF MY LIFE.
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
Hey, at least he’s confident.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Confidently unemployed.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(gritting teeth) I am employed. I protect Seren from modern threats.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
NAME ONE.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
The coffee machine.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
"…"
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
I HATE IT HERE.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
It hissed at me, Seren. That was a clear declaration of war.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
…Do you even understand what dating entails?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(nodding) Yes. It is a strategic alliance formed through shared meals and the exchange of affections.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
(horrified) PLEASE NEVER DESCRIBE IT LIKE THAT AGAIN.
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
(smirking) Sounds like marriage negotiations back in the day.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(pleased) Precisely! Shall I provide a dowry?
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
DO. NOT. SAY. DOWRY.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
(rubbing temples) I need more tea.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Shall I fetch it? As a display of my suitability?
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Fine.
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
Oh, this’ll be fun.
[Two minutes later – Kieran returns]
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(holding mug proudly) Here is your tea, Lady Seren’s Mother.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
…Why is it green?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(proudly) I steeped it with honor.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.
Rina Wagner (fl sis)
Rina Wagner (fl sis)
Oh my god. He’s like a golden retriever trying to be a husband.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
I accept this comparison.
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)
You’re impossible.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(smug) Yet here I remain, Lady Seren’s most loyal protector.
James Wagner (fl dad)
James Wagner (fl dad)
Yeah, we’re never getting rid of him.
Seren wagner (fl)
Seren wagner (fl)
I HATE EVERYTHING.
--

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