Help! My Fictional Knight Is Real?!
Chapter 17
[Scene: Café – The Peace Was Nice While It Lasted]
Seren sips her chai, finally feeling a moment of peace.
Seren wagner (fl)
Ah. Silence. No chaos. No disasters.
👀 Random Customer (whispering excitedly): Oh my God. Is that HIM?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(posing dramatically in his chair) Yes.
Seren wagner (fl)
PLEASE JUST BE NORMAL FOR ONCE.😭
[Scene: The Fan Encounter – Chaos Ensues]
A group of overly enthusiastic followers approach.
😳 Fan 1: Are you Sir_Kieran_of_Caffeine?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(grinning) Indeed. And you are my people.
Seren wagner (fl)
Stop calling them ‘your people’ like you’re a king.
😆 Fan 2: Dude, you’re a legend. The coffee machine battle? ICONIC.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(solemnly nodding) It was a duel of destiny.
📸 Fan 3: Can we take a picture?
Seren wagner (fl)
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF CHAI, SAY NO.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Of course, dear citizens. Let us immortalize this moment.
📸 Kieran proceeds to pose like a medieval knight, one leg on a chair, looking into the distance.
Seren wagner (fl)
WHY ARE YOU POSING LIKE YOU'RE ON A WAR POSTER?
[Scene: The Manager Is Done With His Nonsense]
Cafe Manager
(crossing arms) Kieran. Are you working or running a meet-and-greet?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(sipping an espresso like a villain in a mafia movie) Can’t it be both?
Cafe Manager
No. Get back to work.
Seren wagner (fl)
Yes, PLEASE. Go do your ACTUAL JOB.
Kieran sighs dramatically, looking at his fans.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Duty calls, my friends. I shall return to the battlefield of customer service.
👏 Fans (cheering): "SIR KIERAN OF CAFFEINE! SIR KIERAN OF CAFFEINE!"
Seren, regretting every choice that led her here, buries her face in her hands.
Kieran returns to serving customers, still basking in his newfound fame.
👩💼 Customer: Excuse me, Sir Kieran?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Ah, the title spreads.
Seren wagner (fl)
I’m LEAVING. FOREVER.
Customer: Can I get a muffin?
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(bowing slightly) A noble request. I shall retrieve it at once
Seren watches in horror as he dramatically strides toward the counter like he’s off to war.
Seren wagner (fl)
Why is my life like this?
Cafe Manager
Good question.
Finally escaping the café, Seren drags Kieran home.
Seren wagner (fl)
I can’t take you anywhere.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
You love it.
Seren wagner (fl)
NO. I AM SUFFERING.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Your suffering fuels my joy.
Seren wagner (fl)
…I’m leaving you at the next bus stop.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
(grins, unfazed) Joke’s on you. I know how to navigate this city now.
Seren wagner (fl)
WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?
Kieran slings an arm around her shoulders, looking smug.
Kieran Valtor (ml)
Because the universe knows I make life more entertaining 😎
Seren wagner (fl)
I NEED A REFUND ON MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE.
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