Help! My Fictional Knight Is Real?! Chapter 9

[Scene: Seren’s Room – The Struggle Begins]

Kieran stands in the middle of Seren’s room like a confused cat in a new home. Seren holds up a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Lena and Rina are on the bed, already prepared for the disaster that’s about to unfold.

Seren wagner (fl)

Alright, Kieran. You need to wear this

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(staring at the clothes like they just insulted his honor) …What manner of sorcery is this? 🤨

Seren wagner (fl)

They’re just clothes!

Kieran Valtor (ml)

They are… offensively soft.

Seren wagner (fl)

What does that even mean?!

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

(cackling) It means he’s about to be a menace. Keep going.

lena warner (fl bff)

(smirking) Can’t wait

Seren wagner (fl)

(deep breath, patience level at 2%) Kieran. You are wearing this. No arguments.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(dramatic gasp) “You would strip me of my armor? My pride? My dignity?” 😱

Seren wagner (fl)

I will strip you of life if you don’t put these on🔪

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(crosses his arms like a stubborn toddler, refusing to touch the clothes)

Seren wagner (fl)

(muttering) Oh my god, I have written a man-child.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(offended) I AM A FULLY GROWN MAN.

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

(laughing) A fully grown dramatic man.

lena warner (fl bff)

I mean, I kinda get it. Sweatpants feel illegal after wearing jeans for too long 🤷‍♀️

Kieran finally snatches the clothes like he’s accepting his fate on the execution block.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(grumbling) Fine. But know this—I am NOT happy.

Seren wagner (fl)

(dead inside) Welcome to my world.

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

This is my favorite sitcom.

lena warner (fl bff)

I’d pay for season two.

[Scene: The Bathroom – Where Things Get Worse]

Kieran stands inside, staring at EVERYTHING like he’s just walked into a wizard’s tower.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(yelling from inside) What is this shiny metal bowl? Why does it have a throne? 🤨

Seren wagner (fl)

(facepalming outside the door) …It’s a toilet, Kieran

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(even more suspicious) A what?

lena warner (fl bff)

(laughing so hard she can’t breathe) Oh my god, don’t tell him what it does—let him figure it out 🤣

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(muttering) Why is there a tiny waterfall inside it?

[FLUSH.]

Kieran screams. 😱

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

(wheezing on the floor) OH MY GOD. HE THINKS IT’S A PORTAL 💀

Seren wagner (fl)

(slamming her forehead into the wall) This is my villain origin story.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(breathing heavily, sword half-drawn) Why would you keep such a dangerous artifact in your home?

Seren wagner (fl)

IT’S A TOILET, KIERAN.

[Scene: 10 Minutes Later – He Finally Changes… Sort Of]

Kieran steps out of the bathroom… wearing the sweatpants.

Seren wagner (fl)

(relieved) Finally—wait. Why are they inside out?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(proudly) It adds character😌

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

(crying from laughter) Sir, you look like an escaped patient 🤣

lena warner (fl bff)

(genuinely impressed) Honestly, that’s a vibe

Seren looks up… and sees something missing

Seren wagner (fl)

(suspicious) …Where’s the shirt?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(shrugs) I rejected it.

Seren wagner (fl)

(exhausted) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU REJECTED IT?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(crossing his arms, completely serious) It offends me.

lena warner (fl bff)

(laughing) What, is it made of your enemies’ skin?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(dramatic sigh) It is… too soft. It makes me feel weak.

Seren wagner (fl)

(clutching her head) I am going to lose my mind 😵‍💫

Rina Wagner (fl sis)

(wiping away a tear) Seren, you’ve summoned a feral medieval himbo.

lena warner (fl bff)

Congratulations, it’s a disaster.

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