Help! My Fictional Knight Is Real?! Chapter 15

[Scene: Seren’s Apartment – The Day Starts in Tragedy]

Seren stumbles into the kitchen, her soul barely holding on. She reaches for the chai tin. Lighter than her will to live.

Seren wagner (fl)

No. No, no, no—

She turns

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(sipping from a cup, smug as sin) Ah. The essence of civilization.

Seren wagner (fl)

YOU. DRANK. THE. LAST. DROP?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(nodding like a wise sage) I have seen the face of divinity. It was chai-flavored.

Seren wagner (fl)

I AM ABOUT TO SHOW YOU THE FACE OF VIOLENCE.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

Such poetry. I admire it

Seren wagner (fl)

(grabbing her bag) We’re going to the café. NOW.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

Ah, an adventure. Do we ride on horseback?

Seren wagner (fl)

We ride the bus, you medieval menace.

[Scene: Local Café – The Universe Betrays Seren]

Seren finally gets her chai. She cradles it like it’s her firstborn child.

Seren wagner (fl)

At last. Peace 😮‍💨

Cafe Manager

(stressed beyond belief) You two looking for a job?

Seren wagner (fl)

No—

Kieran Valtor (ml)

Absolutely.

Seren wagner (fl)

EXCUSE ME?

Cafe Manager

(nodding at Kieran) You seem competent. Can you carry trays?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

I have carried shields, swords, and the crushing weight of my bloodline’s expectations

Cafe Manager

…You start now

Seren wagner (fl)

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME.

[Scene: Kieran’s First Day as a Waiter – A Public Menace is Born]

Kieran, now wearing an apron, looks like he just lost a duel.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

This garment is an insult to my lineage.

Seren wagner (fl)

Then quit.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

No 😎

Seren watches, horrified, as Kieran strides up to a table like he’s about to declare war.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

Lords and Ladies, what shall you feast upon today?

👩 Customer: Uh… just a latte?

lena warner (fl bff)

Very well. I shall return victorious.

He turns and walks away.

Seren wagner (fl)

YOU DIDN’T WRITE IT DOWN.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

My memory is unparalleled.

Seren wagner (fl)

IT’S A DRINK, NOT A SECRET BATTLE PLAN.

Five minutes later—

👩 Customer (frowning at her drink): Uh… I ordered a latte?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

That is a cappuccino. A nobler choice.

Seren wagner (fl)

WE’RE GETTING SUED.

[Scene: Kieran Makes a Public Announcement, Because He Can’t Help Himself]

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(standing on a chair, dramatically waving a napkin like a royal decree) Citizens of this fine establishment! Rejoice! For a new batch of pastries has been forged in the fiery depths of the oven!

🍪 Old Man at a Table (clapping slowly): This is the kind of enthusiasm the youth should have.

Seren wagner (fl)

SIR, PLEASE STOP ENCOURAGING HIM.

Suddenly—

A customer accidentally drops a spoon.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(whipping around, grabbing a butter knife like it’s a legendary sword) WHO DARES CHALLENGE ME TO A DUEL?

👀 Entire café: frozen in absolute horror

👩 Customer (slowly raising hands): …I just dropped it?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(nodding gravely) Then you have been spared. This time.

Seren wagner (fl)

(grabbing her head) I AM ACTIVELY LOSING BRAIN CELLS 😭

[Scene: Walking Home – Seren Questions Every Life Decision]

After somehow surviving the shift, Seren and Kieran walk home.

Seren wagner (fl)

You’re never going back there again.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

You laughed.

Seren wagner (fl)

No, I didn’t

Kieran Valtor (ml)

You smiled.

Seren wagner (fl)

I DID NOT.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

Mhm 🧐

Seren glares at him, contemplating his immediate destruction.

Seren wagner (fl)

Whatever. Just don’t get fired.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

I am unstoppable.

Seren wagner (fl)

That’s what I’m afraid of.