Help! My Fictional Knight Is Real?! Chapter 5

[Scene: The Living Room – Where Worlds Collide]

[🚶 Seren is DRAGGED down the stairs by her mother, Kieran follows behind like a very confused medieval puppy]

Seren wagner (fl)

(whispering) Listen, Kieran, just stay quiet and let me handle this

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(serious knight mode activated) Understood, Lady Seren. I shall entrust you with this battle.

Seren wagner (fl)

(grimacing) Please don’t call it a battle.

[👨 Enter Dad – The Curious Historian™]

James Wagner (fl dad)

(looking up from his book, sees Kieran, puts book down slowly) Huh

Seren wagner (fl)

(nervous sweating intensifies) Dad. Before you say anything—

James Wagner (fl dad)

(absolutely fascinated, adjusting glasses, standing up) Where did you find him?

Seren wagner (fl)

EXCUSE ME?

Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)

Excuse me?!

Kieran, sensing absolutely zero danger from this strange older man, bows deeply.

Kieran Valtor (ml)

I am Sir Kieran Valtor, knight of the Imperial Order.

James Wagner (fl dad)

(suddenly has the biggest grin on his face, eyes sparkling like a kid in a museum) Imperial Order? Fascinating. What region? What era?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(nods respectfully) The Eastern Empire, under the reign of His Highness Crown Prince Cassius Valenhardt

James Wagner (fl dad)

(DEEP IN HISTORIAN MODE NOW, clasping hands together) AMAZING. What century are we talking? What kind of metallurgy was used for your armor? How does your sword compare to 15th-century European longswords?

Seren wagner (fl)

(internally screaming) DAD. FOCUS.

Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)

(staring at them in absolute disbelief) Do you two hear yourselves?!

James Wagner (fl dad)

(completely ignoring her, excitedly circling Kieran) Is your sword hand-forged? What’s the exact balance point? What’s your stance on mounted combat efficiency?

Kieran Valtor (ml)

(nodding seriously, now in full knight lecture mode) A knight must always balance both ground and mounted combat. However, an improper stance will cost you your life.

James Wagner (fl dad)

(grinning, clapping hands together) HE KNOWS HIS STUFF!

Seren wagner (fl)

(facepalming) OH MY GOD, STOP ENCOURAGING HIM.

Kieran unsheathes his sword and presents it to Dad like this is a museum exhibit. Mom immediately sits down and grabs a stress ball.

Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)

(muttering to herself) This is fine. This is totally fine. My daughter has apparently abducted a medieval man, my husband has adopted him, and I’m just going to have a heart attack quietly over here.

Seren wagner (fl)

(watching as Dad is now literally EXAMINING Kieran’s sword like an artifact) I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

James Wagner (fl dad)

(grinning) Seren, where did you find him? And can we keep him?

Seren wagner (fl)

HE IS NOT A PET, DAD.

Eleanor Wagner (fl mom)

(finally snapping, pointing at Seren) EXPLAIN. NOW.

Kieran and Dad both look at Seren. Seren wants to die. How is this her life now?!

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