11

...Manuel...

Basilio left as soon as the sun's rays began to rise, I wasn't sure if he had at least gotten some sleep, but that was what the Sisters had told me when I sat down to breakfast. Today they were going to accompany Maria's family from early in the morning and she was going to spend the night there at the wake for the funeral service on Sunday morning. I sipped my coffee, a little nervous about the masses I had to say these days. Basilio had left me a list of verses and Gospels to read at Mass. In a few hours I had to look them up and check them off in my Bible.

—Nervous, Father? —asked Bethlehem from the other side of the table—. Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. The baptism mass went very well.

—Thank you, but this is more important. Now it's not just going to be a few people.

—Really, Father, don't worry.

He smiled making me smile too despite my nerves. I continued eating breakfast as I reviewed the verses by Mass schedule. Each one had different passages and talked about different things. I was surprised, in other parishes they used to use only one topic for each of the Masses. There were even some that celebrated one or two Masses a day. I was glad to be in a neighborhood as religious as this one. I finished my coffee, grabbed the sheet with the Mass schedule and locked myself in my room.

The hours slipped through my fingers as if they were water, and in the blink of an eye I was already dressed for the dawn. The sounds of people settling into the parish penetrated into the room where I was preparing myself before going out to the altar. There was a sudden knock on the door. I opened the door to find Sister Belen.

—Do you need anything, Father? Are you going out already?

—Yes, thank you for coming.

She smiled.

—Are you nervous?

—Do I look very noticeable? —she giggled.

—God is going to help you, Father, don't worry —she smiled again—. Come out, you will do very well.

I nodded, took a breath, held it in my lungs for a few seconds and let it out, leaving the room. It was the first mass I had said with so many people watching me. The baptism had been a small gathering compared to the number of people in the parish today. I went up to the altar and stood behind the lectern. There was silence as soon as they saw me, and I cleared my throat before greeting them as Basilio did. I looked around at those present. Not everyone was there because of the time of day, there were usually more people there at night, but there were still quite a few people.

...***...

I watched everyone walk out the front door when I finished, I smiled happily, everything had gone well again, thank God. I went back to the lectern and closed the Bible, while the altar boys walked back and forth behind me. I sighed in relaxation, I had three hours before the noon mass, I could dedicate myself to helping the Sisters or go for a walk in the neighborhood. I went to the preparation room and took off my alb, leaving it in place. When I returned I ran into Nieves, who was hurrying the boys so they could leave and she could get busy cleaning up. I decided to help them put things away, learning where they were going in the process, causing Sister to challenge me. They seemed to have it pretty much assumed that the parish Father didn't have to do anything. I didn't like this, I preferred to feel useful. Besides, I was used to doing these things, I had been an altar boy when I was a child. Not to mention that in the priesthood we were also in charge of these tasks. When we finished, I insisted on helping Nieves, but she refused and ended up kicking me out of the parish. I decided, then, to spend one of the almost three hours walking around the neighborhood. I started walking down the same street as always, almost by inertia. Before reaching the corner, I heard a voice calling my name from the garden of a house. I turned around disoriented, not knowing where the voice was coming from.

—Here, Father.

A girl's voice sounded behind me along with the creaking of a fence, I turned around to find her smiling broadly at me. Anyone who saw her could have mistaken her for a model. Her long brown hair was tied back in a thick ponytail, with a few strands falling over her shoulders. She was lightly made up, but it suited her very well, her honey-colored eyes were fixed on me and her lips, a little thick, curved into a photographic smile. She was warm in a jean jacket that was layered over a polo shirt.

—I am happy to greet you, Father. I went to your Mass, I enjoyed it very much.

—I'm glad. —I smiled at him too—. I'm going to cover Father Basilio today and tomorrow for what happened to Maria.

—It's a pity about her, but at least you are there. The truth is that I liked her officiating much better than Father Basilio.

—Please don't say that, I still have a lot to learn to become like him.

—Don't be so modest, Father. —she giggled—. I'm so rude! Excuse me, my name is Isabel. I'm glad I can finally talk to you. —She moved a little closer to me—. Are you going for a walk?

—Yes, I will take advantage of it before the next mass.

—Do you mind if I join you?

Before I could realize it, she intertwined her arm with mine and started walking taking me with her. I felt a little uncomfortable with the closeness, she wasn't a nasty girl, but I wasn't used to this, much less with a girl. My closeness with women was limited to the Sisters and the women in my family. As she went on and on about things I had already lost track of a while ago, I tried to subtly push her away, but she hugged my arm tighter each time I did.

—Hey, Father!

I turned around to meet Facundo. I smiled happily at him, he had fallen from the sky to interrupt the walk that was starting to be a little annoying.

—Are you busy?

—No, I'm making time until the next mass. Can I get you anything?

—Gabo asked me to ask if I could also come by today after the missionary talk.

—Do you also give the talks, Father? I think I'm going to start stopping by the meetings. —Isabel said, and I looked at her with a smile on my face that I couldn't quite put my finger on—. I'd love to hear it.

—You are invited to do so.

I said with a nervous smile. Every time I felt her body closer and closer to mine, I could feel my arm practically between her breasts. I wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose or if it was accidental, I didn't want to dwell too much on it either. I looked at Facundo almost asking for help, but he didn't seem to understand my request.

—Well, I'll leave you to it.

—Yes, it's about time. Shall we go, Father?

He didn't let me answer, he went back to the walk. She talked non-stop, I couldn't keep up with her and I wasn't sure I wanted to either. We walked around the block and when we got to the parish, I took the opportunity to separate from her and go inside with the excuse that I had to get ready before the noon mass. I practically ran away from her. I went into the oratory as if I was afraid she would follow me. I knelt on the kneeler behind one of the novices who were passing through the parish. I began to pray thinking of Mary, surely she was now breaking down in tears. I thought how much I would like to embrace her to console her. I saw her as a little sister, I felt the need to protect her as I would do with Guadalupe. I suddenly remembered that I had not sent her a message in a while, surely she and my mother were worried about me.

Almost twenty minutes later, I left the oratory and walked down the aisle to the altar. I looked at the time on my cell phone, it was still time for mass. I sat down on the first seat, wrote a message, which could be a letter, and sent it to Guadalupe.

—Good morning, Father.

I was startled, I had not heard footsteps approaching. I looked up, in front of me stood Gabriel. His lips curved into a slight smile, but it seemed to be out of commitment.

—Gabi, hi, good to see you.

—Are you happy?

—Yes, I like talking to you.

I would have liked to add that I was also glad because it wasn't Isabel. I had never felt as uncomfortable as I did with her. It was the first time I had ever felt this way with someone from the neighborhood, Maria seemed almost like a little sister to me and Gabriel was good company. He sat next to me in complete silence. I gave him a look and received a more sincere smile.

—What brings you here? Facundo told me you were coming later.

—Facundo? But I didn't ask him to say anything. —He let out a sigh—. We passed each other on the way back from my classes and we talked about some things, but I didn't ask him for anything.

We were silent for a few seconds.

—I came to pray a little. Besides, I wanted to stay until Mass time, if I didn't bother, of course.

—Not at all, Gabi, the master's house is open to everyone.

I smiled at him. Again we were silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable, quite the contrary. I found I could spend hours with him without saying a word. He interlaced his fingers and closed his eyes in prayer position. I stared at him all the while. I realized that every time I looked at his face I could no longer help but notice the tiny freckles that dotted his cheeks and nose. The little locks that fell wavy on his forehead almost framed his face and his hair was illuminated by the morning sun streaming in through the wide open door. Seeing him like that made me think how well they had chosen his name, how angelic he looked in that instant. 

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