5

...Manuel...

I saw Gabriel enter the church and settle next to a man in the second row of seats. He settled in at one end, so I took the opportunity to sit in the side seats. I smiled at him when he looked at me, then looked away to the man with him to greet him as well.

—Father Manuel, he is my father.

—Pleased to meet you, sir. —I said, extending my hand to him.

—Likewise. I'm Adrian. —He shook my hand—. Are you replacing Father Basilio? I heard something in the workshop.

—Yes, Father is retiring soon and I am going to stay in front of the parish.

—It's good to see young people who are so interested in religion. —He said—. Gabi is studying theology. We would have liked him to go to the priesthood, but he decided on a bachelor's degree.

Gabriel's face suddenly turned red causing a smile to break out on my face. He averted his gaze to the floor, obviously embarrassed by what his dad had said.

—A degree in theology is also a good career. I could even work here in the parish.

—Well, God willing, Gabi will be of help to him in whatever he needs when he finishes his studies.

—I'm sure it would. I could even help with the missionary kids. You know all the talk, don't you? —Gabriel nodded. Then you can work there in the meantime.

I smiled at him, even though he wouldn't look at me, he just nodded again. I patted him on the shoulder and settled back. I looked around the parish, which was gradually filling up. Some neighbors were waving at me, settling in around me. I realized that I was having a little trouble remembering names. I was sure that when I had been here for a few years, I would be able to remember everyone without any problem, just as Basilio did.

It wasn't long before Father came out to the altar followed by the altar boys. The two boys sat to the side, while Basilio welcomed those present, opened the Bible and began the mass. I felt a gaze fixed on me, I turned and met Gabriel's eyes. He was looking at me without any particular expression, rather, he seemed to be trying to decipher something in me. His cheeks were slightly red, I didn't know if he was hot or if it was due to embarrassment about something. He averted his gaze a few seconds later, focusing again on Basilio and his words. Did he need to ask something? He might be having a bad time and needed to talk. I turned back to Father Basilio. For a second I had forgotten that I needed to pay attention to the mass, in not long I was going to be in that very place.

When mass was over, I got up to go to the front door and greet those in attendance. I barely noticed Gabriel leave, he seemed to hide from me at times. The short time I had been here, he had barely spoken to me. If it weren't for the fact that we crossed paths this morning, we probably wouldn't have spoken much either. Most of the young men would come up to me to ask me questions, mostly to see if Basilio was available. But he seemed to shy away from me, almost as if he was afraid of me. When they all left, I turned to watch the altar boys put away the elements as usual. The boys left a few minutes later running as usual. I walked to the main gate and closed it before looking out onto the almost deserted street. Few people were passing by on the sidewalk returning from their jobs.

—It's very quiet, isn't it?

I jumped when I heard Basilio's voice, I turned to look at him, he smiled at me.

—Yes, it looks like the neighborhood where I grew up. —I smiled a little sadly—. We should go inside, it's cold and the Sisters are going to serve dinner.

I followed him, thinking of my family, of the memories I had of Bahía Blanca, of my friends, of my sister when we kicked each other under the table to annoy each other, but which ended up being a sign of complicity between us, especially when we stayed at our grandmother's house. We walked to the dining room, sat at the main table surrounded by nuns and novices. Nieves was the one who cooked today and the novices who had just been admitted were in charge of serving dinner. In a few days, the girls would leave for the cloister before being distributed to various provinces. The plate of stew came to me from the trembling hand of one of them, I wasn't sure, but I thought it was Noelia, a short, slender girl with eyes like coal. I realized how bad I was at remembering names, it was not unusual for me to have trouble remembering the neighbors in the neighborhood.

We ate and chatted pleasantly. We didn't get to use the four long tables today either, most of the nuns in the parish were cloistered or at St. Cajetan's, as Basilio had told me. Maria was also cloistered, so for a few days I would have no one to talk to while I wasn't practicing baptismal mass or when I had nothing else to do but wander around the parish. When we finished dinner, Basilio left the dining room quickly, and I, for my part, helped the novices pick up what we had used to take them to the kitchen. Sister Nieves always prevented me from helping them too much, under the argument that "this is not a man's job", they would take me out of the dining room. I locked myself in my room thinking that when I took over the parish I would change the way things were run. I changed my clothes for my pajamas, turned off the light and went to bed thinking about what I would like to change. I knew I would not succeed in changing the tradition of the whole religion, but at least here I wanted things to be different. Suddenly, Gabriel's face appeared in my mind. There was something in my head that kept me from thinking about him. From the first day I saw him, he had caught my attention to the point that I needed to talk to him. I didn't understand what made him so striking to me, after all, he was just a young boy like any other, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. I closed my eyes trying to focus on anything other than Gabriel and his flushed face as we talked before mass.

I woke up when the first rays of sunlight began to peek timidly. I opened my eyes lazily, instantly remembering that I hadn't prayed at night, I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't even remembered. Normally it was automatic, I had been doing it since I was a kid, but last night Gabriel took all my attention. I sat up in bed and, before I even woke up, I clasped my hands together, interlacing my fingers to begin praying. When I finished, I got up, pulled out a clean shirt and went into the bathroom. I showered as quickly as I could and came out to stand in front of the mirror. I combed my hair and shaved before I finally came out ready. I walked to the dining room and sat down next to Basilio as usual, he greeted me by teasing me for the delay I had in leaving my room. Nieves, in charge of the kitchen again, served me a cup of coffee with milk as was becoming the custom. I thanked her before joining Basilio's prayer.

Soon I had to go back to my room to prepare for the mass I had to give. Rather, I had to prepare for the first talk with the parents of the boys. I imagined what I had to tell them, but I was not sure, after all, they had not prepared us for that part in the seminary. I opened the Lectionary and the book on ritual, jotted down a few things without paying too much attention. I felt my stomach churning with nerves. It was almost as if someone was twisting it as if it were a sponge or a rag from which they wanted to squeeze out the water completely. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, distracted by the birdsong coming in from outside. At least it served to calm me down a bit even though I was not making much progress. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes with the idea of trying to concentrate on what I had to do, but some knocking on the door made me get distracted again. I got up and went to open it, on the other side was Sister Belen, she let me know that Basilio wanted me to see him in the main office. Until now, I had not gone in there. I understood that it was the place where Father administered the parish, where he kept the lists of people arriving and leaving. I was sure he had my papers too. I started walking through the opposite wing of the parish, the place where I never went; I had not asked Sister where it was, but it was not too big a place to get lost. I had to walk past the door leading to the altar and turn right at a corner. At the end of the short hallway was the door. I knocked, from inside I heard a "pass". I entered asking permission as if I hadn't knocked before,

—Sit down, please. I'll finish this and we'll talk.

I nodded and sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk. Basilio had his eyes fixed on some papers on which he was writing in concentration. I started to look around me, soon that place was going to belong to me, I was going to be in the Father's place, I was going to have to take care of everything, just as he did. I thought it would have been useful if they had taught us something about administration, just looking at the thick labeled folders that Basilio had behind him, I felt lost already.

—How are you doing with the preparation of the Mass?

—Good. —I sighed—. Well, not so good. Every time I sit down to prepare what I'm going to say, I get the jitters.

Basil laughed, his deep voice booming off the practically empty walls.

—You remind me of when I was young. —He laughed again—. Well, —he folded his hands on the desk—, I have to finish some things, but wait for me at the altar, let's take advantage of the time before mass.

I nodded again without saying anything. He motioned for me to leave, I got up, thanked him and left to go to the altar. Normally the parish was empty when there was no mass, but the figure of a person in the last seat caught my attention. It was Gabriel, kneeling on a kneeler with his face slightly hidden behind his clasped hands, but it was possible to tell who he was. I was about to walk up to him to greet him when Basilio called me from the door through which he had entered a few seconds before. I followed him into the room where the dawn was kept with my mind on Gabriel. I felt, for a second, that I couldn't concentrate with him there. I didn't want him to leave, I would like to talk to him some more, but now I wasn't going to be able to do that, but I would show him how little I could concentrate on what I was supposed to do. I was sure he was going to make a fool of me when I forgot what I had to say; that he was going to make fun or tell the whole neighborhood that the new parish priest wasn't even good enough to do a practice baptism. I felt as if my stomach was being squeezed again, I was not expecting any other spectator than Basilio. 

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