I Used To Be A Boy
I am special.
Yes! A very special someone with a very special case or so I think.
Oh, yes! Absolutely!
Well, probably? That's what I believe.
"Hello! I am Yana" smiles fakely, "Yana Brooks. It's very nice to meet you" I said as I gave another smile then laughs hard.
"What the hell? I feel crazy talking to the mirror introducing my self to myself. This looks weird! It's as if I somehow lose my mind!" snicker, laughs, and snorts.
"Oh my, what a lovely admirable look you have. Please smile brightly always and capture the hearts of women" grinning, saying it cheekily.
Ha. Women. Yes. Oh sure.
I don't know when I started to notice my being different in liking someone, but as far as I can remember, I wasn't really interested in boys too since I was a kid.
I do play with some little boys before but I always find them annoying and irritating - in some aspects. Meanwhile, my girl play mates are so lovely and sure is admirable in my eyes. I like them way better! Way better than my other gender play mates.
Anyways, I am pretty much attractive, setting aside my nice toned body but also with the looks due to my complex beauty - since my parents have different nationalities (dad's a British, and mum's half Spanish and Filipino) - that eventually makes people fascinated as I pass by.
Not that I am conscious about the usual stares and glances but, somehow, it makes me uneasy. Probably because despite how beautiful this face is, I never dolled up, not because I don't know how to but because I find it troublesome and I hate girly stuff!
Well, yea, that explains it.
I am an outstanding girl since I was little - maybe due to my exotic appearance where even strangers look at me closely and keeps saying, "How lovely! She sure looks like a doll!" or perhaps, "Ah! I wanna keep her. I bet she would really be pretty even more if we doll her up" and the like.
It's not that I hate to hear them say such things but I don't know. It never made me feel awesome, glad, nor happy.
I am into music - composing, also into literary and arts. I do these things whenever I feel sad and needs comfort. I do them even when I feel happy and joyful. Even when I'm on the urge of crying and breaking down, I do them.
Well that, in any case, I used to.
Mum always say how am I so obedient, so cheerful, very curious, and easily intrigued even as a child. But I never did talk rudely to others even my neighbors and especially towards my play mates.
As a kid, I am quiet most of the time and tends to observe people a lot but I do have some fun - supposedly. Not until someone ruined my sweet quiet childhood! Oh my lovely memories with Cassey and Nicole back then - remembering makes me feel blue so sudden.
An old acquaintance of my dad suddenly transferred due to his work and ended up living in the house across to ours.
I was glad back then before they arrived, knowing that from now on there will be somebody else living in the very block we live in, in this neighborhood.
Yes, I would really be happy because a new play mate is arriving.
I'm super thrilled expecting to see a new beautiful face and/or a lovely, charming girl coming and will be here every single day.
As what my parents told me, that family is nice and the kid they have is very beautiful! So I keep my hopes up but little did I know what I've been excited about will just crash the moment they'll arrive?
Gosh! My expectations back then sure shattered as that cheeky boy come out of the truck.
Yes, a boy. Well my parents did say beautiful so I assumed it will be a girl but I really have no comment.
I could still remember the disappointment I felt as I tried my hardest to smile yet that boy looked at me straight in the eye as he squint his eyes then nodded.
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Comments
Rojin Ehsan
Thank you❤️👍
2022-06-01
0
Rojin Ehsan
❤️❤️❤️❤️
2022-06-01
0
CandyBee✨
"Smiles fakely" bruh This part i think im gonna 🤜 my phone
2020-12-09
0