THIRTEEN

What a dream.

It's been ages since I last dreamt about that stupid brat! And seriously? Why would I dream about him in this situation?

Yawning as I stood up from bed and head down stairs.

"Eat then take a bath, sweet heart!"

My lips cracked a smile, formed from my unwashed face, after seeing mum's big note sticked on the fridge she left years ago before they left.

"This never failed to make me feel the warmth of my parent's love" I said feeling over-whelmed.

Maybe I should visit that lake some time soon. That's one of the sacred places for me now 'cause it saw my fragile and womanly insights.

Hope there won't be somebody else to crumble my wrecked heart already. This time, though I expected it, it will surely take millions of years to heal and probably it would never be whole again.

Drinking hot chocolate I motivated myself saying "Anyways let's get ready so that I can run around this neighborhood too! Let's do this! Exercise for healthy life"

I started stripping to take a bath and in a flash, I'm done!

I went for a run.

As I reach the secluded forest side area of this neighborhood, I took a break.

I sat on top of the big round rock and drank a mouthful of water.

Wiping off the sweat dripping on my face, I looked at the sky as the sun begins to rise higher.

Spending quite some time breathing deeply and becoming one with the nature 'til my watch sounded - it's the alarm I set. Time to go home.

I decided to jog on my way back and while I'm on it, I saw a glimpse of a man having a run and is headed to the place I just left.

"Not that it is only I who knows that place though. He must've used to go to that place too" I commented on my mind as I shook my head and ran.

As I reached home I rested a bit and looked at the mirror.

"Look at you. How pitiful. Where'd your confidence go? See. Even guts left you all alone now" I smiled slyly.

Maybe this is a lesson I never learn. No matter what I always do. No matter how hard I try. Even I give my all and the best that I could to make my lover feel all the love and care she needs, it has never been enough.

Yea.. Perhaps my gender is to be blamed.

A girl can never be enough for another girl is it? Unless that person is really serious about you and disregards your sexuality.

But yes, that is impossible.

All my exes left me for a guy despite of swearing they'll be with me forever.

Well, forever doesn't exist - that at the very least I know.

Empty promises always happens in relationships and who's a fool to believe that promises aren't meant to be broken?

Ehem.

That would be me. Hahaha!

It did freakin' hit right through the core I'm hiding.

The wounds are still very fresh. Not that I am referring to my break up yesterday, but the break up with my first girlfriend still hurts a lot.

I can still remember I quit doing my hobbies and other things I enjoy doing because she told me to. Only now did I finally realize that she's doing all those things 'cause she's pretty jealous of me.

Not to mention her insecurities towards me and my looks especially. She loves to cover her face with a thick layer of make up though she is already beautiful but she ain't contented.

And in the end she broke up with me after getting close to and be dumped by Gale.

Yes. She just used me as her stepping stone for that stupid brat (Gale Clarks) to notice her and give her the attention she seeks.

Imagine? She dated me for months and when the time came she can approach Gale to ask about me - though it is full of pretends - she made up her mind to end up our relationship because according to her she feels grossed out around me.

Though they are classmates, she never had the chance to flirt with him 'cause accordingly I am guarding Gale - like seriously? Am I a dog or something?

This pissed me off to the highest level but I did not cry. Not because I don't want to but because I can't.

I stare at her coldly as I feel my heart shatter to pieces.

Gale didn't tolerate such behaviour and told her "I will never like someone as flirtatious as you. You have guts to hurt my best friend for your personal needs, how shameful! Besides I would rather date this tomboy than you"

Remembering that freak's word, it gave me chills yet my heart did skip a beat.

I really don't understand why. Why am I acting this way? And when did I start to feel conscious around him? How unbelievably pathetic I am.

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