TEN

After spending some time and unexpectedly talking with Mr. Trip Over, his name is still forgotten. I mean, I forgot to ask about it.. anyways I gave him my card so it'll be fine, hopefully.

Driving on my way home, I suddenly felt the burning sensation developing in my eyes and before I knew it, tears started flowing non-stop.

No matter how hard I try, I am still not good enough for someone, even with my bestest.

I kept crying as I feel my heart squeeze out and compress tighter than normal.

I can feel my knees and legs shaking from shock and sadness.

"Fck" I said as I stop the car. I went out and head towards the beautiful gloomy lake bathing under the bright light of the moon and stars.

As I watch the scenery, I kept on crying for God-knows how long. I sat on the grass a couple of meters away from the lake as I feel my heart throbbing painfully like stabbing it - making tons of holes - until it becomes cold, my limbs numb, and my lips dry.

Too many thoughts come to me one by one until it filled my head whereas my brain can't keep up and absorb the situation I am currently in. Like it is contrasting the reality that had happened, absolutely impossible.

Yea. Although I was overwhelmed earlier tonight and managed to take and keep away Nicole and the break up scene to replay on my mind, it still hit me deep down the core and right now, at this very moment that I am completely all by myself, I can't help it but feel the heavy punch and take it in. I can't really help it.

"What am I supposed to do?" I said as I sobbed.

"Should I move forward and let things be as it is? Is this the appropriate choice? Somebody, tell me please" crying as I buried my face in my knees.

"You know, after bracing all the pain and loneliness, use it to be the fundamentals of your own strength. Use it to build up more confidence, to learn the value of acceptance, and to learn to forgive. But, always remember to never forget what the lesson have taught you." I suddenly remembered those comforting and factual words from my late grandmother.

"Yes, nana. I would always remember that. Thank you" as I let out a sigh with ease, wiped my tears, and gave the lake a sly smile with my horrible face.

Spending a little more time on the lake side before deciding to go home in that cold, empty, dark house I am living alone at, I started humming.

Mmmmh. Hmm. Ha-ah.

Hmmmh. Lalala. Dudu.

Then burst out laughing. Goodness, am I mad?

As the cold breeze hits me as if embracing me in a sense of comfort, I started singing a song.

"Without you I feel broke like I'm half of a whole,

Without you I've got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn lika a sail in the storm~

Without you, I'm just a sad song"

After sighing deeply, I hurriedly retrieved my gaze from the lake 'cause I feel like it's drowning me in.

Before anything else happens, I guess I should head back now. Standing up at one go, I wobbled. "Haha! Gosh! I forgot I drank quite a lot" as I let out a laugh, and echoed around the place.

"How lonely. Even the nature is so cold to me. I wish there's someone to nag me everytime. Just like back then.. Haha! Seriously? What are you wishing for? Hoping for nothing else but that guy again? Come on, Yana! Wake up! You wished him good bye for good, too. Why are you being so childish this day and such a cry baby tonight? Goodness! Have a sense of shame! Cheer up, self" I said before riding back my car.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***