Episode 18

Sara: Adam hands me a box that isn't too heavy, rectangular. It's not large, and I can't open it. What's this?

Adam: A new smartphone; I’ll help you set it up.

I had scarcely finished speaking when Sara hugged me tightly, and in attempting to kiss my cheek, her lips brushed the corner of my mouth. She steps back, and I can see the blush coloring her cheeks.

Sara: Thank you, Adam, thank you so much.

My excitement bubbles as Adam configures the phone to my liking. I conduct a few searches to test it out and can't help but feel thrilled.

Adam: Sara sets alarms for my medication schedule and tells me about apps that have audiobooks. She shares that Lize used to read books to her and described movies for her.

Sara, what was your life like at your home?

Sara: If you don’t want to hear lies, don’t ask me that question.

Adam: Sara shuts her eyes as though to ward off a painful memory. Fear flickers across her face, prompting me to pocket the marriage contract I had intended to give her. Instincts aren't necessary for me to know she's hiding something; however, I realize I haven't yet gained her trust for her to confide in me. I resolve to leave her the choice to stay or leave — the decision will be hers.

Would you like to get out of the house tomorrow?

Sara: Are the marks on my face still visible?

Adam: They’re hardly noticeable.

Sara: Then, yes, I’d like to go out.

Adam: I know we're both just trying to get along, and so will I. This is the best I can do right now, but I give you my word I will take care of you, and I won't allow anyone to hurt you, even from afar.

Sara: Coming from you, I know that has real significance. Thank you so much, Adam, but only if you let me take care of you too.

Adam: I’ll try to let you, Sara; it’s not easy for me. Where would you like to go tomorrow?

Sara: Somewhere outdoors; it has to have flowers. Even though I can’t see them, I can smell them, and it’s wonderful.

Adam: I’ll think of a place. Now we need to eat. Don’t tell me you’re not hungry.

Sara: On the contrary, I’m starving.

Adam takes my hand, and I dine at the table with him. I ask Josiane to fetch everything the physician has prescribed for taking care of Adam’s hand. He provides direction while I tend to his wounds. Feeling them in his hand, I cannot fathom how he sustains the pain.

Adam: I watch Sara’s careful attention to me, the tenderness with which she gently blows on my hand, concerned it might hurt. I feel terrible for making her endure so much, for leaving her alone in the hospital. That night I slept in the car in the hospital parking lot, like a cursed coward unable to muster the courage to enter the hospital or even to leave as I had told myself I would. Sara causes me to break my own rules; it becomes arduous to steady my breath near her, more so after she declares she harbors no feelings for me. I never allowed myself to feel anything for anyone, not even pity, which is what kept me alive. Now I sense my defenses eroding. I have to let her go; I cannot bind her to me any longer, and the ache is something I cannot comprehend.

Sara: All done, Adam.

Adam: May I apply ointment to your injury?

Sara: Yes, you may.

Adam gently brushes my hair back over my shoulder. His hands skim over my skin, eliciting a shiver from me, and I take a deep breath. He applies the ointment carefully and blows on it as I did for him. He leans in close to my face, presumably examining the fading mark of the slap.

Adam: I’m tempted to kiss Sara’s full, rosy lips as I draw near.

Sara: Is it still very noticeable?

Adam: I pull away from Sara.

It’s almost gone, Sara.

Sara: That’s a relief. Thank you, Adam.

Adam lies down, and quiet settles around us. I drift off to sleep unexpectedly.

Adam: Struggling to catch sleep, I find it elusive. Unthinkingly, I draw Sara close to my chest; she is free to leave if she wishes, yet I question if I will even sleep without her presence. As soon as she nestles against me, sleep comes easily.

Sara: With a light sleep, I feel Adam pull me in, and I snuggle against him, falling into a deep, secure sleep like I've never experienced before.

Adam: Waking before Sara, I move her off my chest to tend to my morning routine. After a shower and getting dressed, I watch her stretch and get up, a multitude of thoughts racing through my head which I prefer to dismiss.

Sara: I rise and lazily make my way to the bathroom. After my routine, I emerge in just a towel, having forgotten to grab clothes.

Adam: Sara exits the bathroom wrapped in a modest towel heading straight for the closet. She clings to the towel, her embarrassment palpable. I glimpse the small woman who’s turning my world upside down, clutching a towel that barely covers her, and I leave the room, shaking my head to dismiss the unwarranted thoughts about her.

Sara: Hearing Adam's footsteps retreat, I release a held breath and exhale in relief. Katy comes upstairs and assists me in getting ready to go out.

Does it look okay?

Katy: You look beautiful!

Sara: Isn’t it too tight?

Katy: Not at all. It's perfect!

We go downstairs for breakfast, and when Adam glimpses Sara dressed up, he nearly chokes on his coffee.

Sara: Adam, are you alright?

Adam: You're going out like that?

Sara: Yes, Katy helped me pick it out. Good morning!

Adam: Remind me to fire Katy.

I mutter aloud.

Katy: What?

Sara: What?

Katy and I ask in unison.

Adam: What? Nothing!

Sara: We sit and have our breakfast. After finishing, we leave the house. I'm bursting with excitement, not knowing where we are headed. I roll down the car window on my side and feel the wind caress my face – it's such a pleasant sensation.

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