Episode 10

RAFAELA...

The exam result came out positive, and I've never felt so happy. After we left Natan's office, I went to spend some time with the kids. Pedro had a sulky face, and I knew it was because of Matheus, as my son can be a little jealous.

"I didn't like that guy, Mom," he suddenly said as I helped them with dinner.

"Why didn't you like Uncle Teteu, Pedro?"

"Just because."

"Son, don't talk like that. He's a nice person..." I tried to remember only the good parts that he allowed me to see... His inner self - he makes jewelry, just like Mom, did you know?"

"Really, Mom?" Ana asked, her eyes already shining.

"Yes, it's true. But how about we talk about something else that doesn't involve Matheus, hmm?"

"Thank you," Pedro said, his sulky face even more pronounced.

I finished giving them dinner, and the nurse came to give Pedro his evening medication. Ana, Pedro, and I stayed with him until he fell asleep, which didn't take even half an hour. We went back home, and Ana was already fast asleep.

I lay in my bed, reminiscing about Matheus's reaction when he saw the children. I still remember every word he said to me before I left that house, his contemptuous gaze directed at me... But I also remember the flicker of regret I saw in his eyes when I looked at him one last time before leaving and never going back there.

I remember seeing him move to take a step towards me, and I... With a broken heart, I just ran. Afraid that he would do something to my babies.

I know I should have forgotten about him by now, should have tried to move on with my life like a normal woman, tried another relationship, but... How? I know Matheus so well that I know he's only engaged to that woman out of guilt...

Guilty for abandoning me when I needed him the most, and at the same time... Feeling unworthy of my forgiveness. Oh, if he only knew... If he only knew that I forgave him a long time ago. I forgave him, not for breaking my heart, but for allowing me the gift of being a mother. If I hadn't slept with him...

I wouldn't have my children, and that... That is the only reason that still makes me look back at the past and, even though I want to, not feel angry at him, not enough to want him away from me. That's why I've kept my feelings locked away, and only now have I let them out.

"Why didn't I forget about you while there was still time, Matheus... Why did I let you continue to live in my mind?"

I spend a long time awake, tossing and turning in my bed, complaining to my own mind about how at this stage of life, I still lose sleep thinking about that damn Matheus Jones.

After being awake for a long time, I finally fall asleep, only to wake up in the morning at 5 AM and go make coffee for myself and Ana. As soon as I reach the kitchen, I receive a message from an unsaved number.

"Good morning! It's Matheus here... I'm starting my exams today, would you like to come with me?"

I raise an eyebrow upon seeing the message. How does he expect me to accompany him to his exams? I reply with "Good morning, I appreciate the invitation, but I prefer to know only the results. I'm not your babysitter, be independent, Matheus."

As if I would fall for that so easily. We were raised together, Matheus. You should improve your request if you want me to spend my days with you. I finish my coffee and, as always, drop Ana off at school before heading to the hospital to check on my little prince.

"Good morning, my love," I say, kissing his forehead.

"Good morning, Mom. Is Ana already at school?"

"Yes, my little one. I spoke to Flavinha's mom this morning," he smiles, even though he just woke up. "She agreed to let her come visit you after school. Flavinha and Igor."

"Yay!"

"I have a surprise for you," he perks up a bit, as I notice he's a little down today. "I managed to talk to Dr. Natan, and you can spend the weekend at home... I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, and on Monday, I have to bring you back early."

"Yes, my love..." I hug him tightly.

It hurts so much to see my son in this hospital bed and not be able to even sleep here with him... It's torture. It was a huge struggle to convince Natan to let Pedro spend the weekend at home. But given his condition... Stable... He allowed it.

"Mommy will find a way to get you out of here, son. I promise."

"Mom..."

"Yes, son."

"Do I have a father?"

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