I did all the exams I could this morning, and I stayed at home in the afternoon. I was thinking about everything Rafa said, every word was directed at me with the intention of hurting me, of making me see the monster I was.
If she knew that I am already aware of all this... I just had no idea that her pain was so palpable... It pained me more to see her expression while she spoke than the words she said.
I am lying on the sofa, watching a car race, when the door to my living room is abruptly opened, I look in that direction already imagining who it is, and in a few seconds the loud sound of expensive heels echoes through the room with every step Madson takes.
There goes my peace...
"Can I know what you're doing here?" I say, looking very serious at her.
"Sweetie..." I gesture for her to stop talking.
"Enough, Madson, I have heard your voice enough. Now get out of my house," I continue lying on the sofa, not caring much about her presence.
"So it's like that?" she says with a tearful voice, I deserve it... "After everything we have lived, you are going to send me away like this? And our engagement?"
"You mean our hookups, don't you? Because that's all our 'relationship' has been reduced to all these years," I look at her and see her teary eyes. "Don't start. You're horrible when you're crying," she gasps and now looks at me angrily.
"Is this your final word?" she says with a firm voice.
"That's what I said yesterday at the jewelry store. Or were you deaf?"
She raises her chin and turns around, leaving exactly as she entered: stomping her feet and making noise with her heels. Finally, I am free from this Satan's projectium. She was only good at spending my money and screaming like a porn actress in bed.
I look at the TV and realize that I have lost interest in watching, I stand up annoyed and go to my gym, I didn't train this morning, so I will take this opportunity to train now. I start a series of exercises, legs, chest, arms.
Only when I am completely sweaty, I stop for a moment to catch my breath and drink water. I enter the house hours later being at the gym and find my housekeeper in the kitchen.
"Hi Greta," I give her a kiss on the head.
"Hi, my son, go take a shower, I'm finishing dinner."
"Greta... I told you that I don't want you at the stove. I told you I can manage."
"I heard part of your conversation with Madson..." I raise my eyebrow.
"Listening behind doors, huh?" I say holding back a laugh and she frowns.
"No, you cheeky boy. I was bringing you a snack and overheard the conversation. It's not my fault she practically shouted for everyone to hear."
"She always did that, it seemed like her entertainment."
"I'm glad it's finally over. I never liked her. I don't know how you took that relationship of yours so far..."
"I needed to train cardio, Gretinha... And you know I'm not really a fan of running," she slaps me and I run out of the kitchen. "I know you love me."
"CHEEKY!" she shouts when I'm already climbing the first steps of the stairs.
I reach my room and go straight to the bathroom, I really need a shower. I turn on the shower and stand under it, feeling the hot water relax my whole body, tense muscles, confused thoughts, racing heartbeat...
I rest my head against the cold wall and start thinking about Rafa's sad eyes... Her eyes, her mouth, these have been the most recent thoughts in my mind, occupying my head.
I remember what she said about Pedro, how he was sad to know he was "rude" to his dad...
I finish my shower and put on just a pair of sweatpants, pour a shot of whiskey into a glass and go to my balcony, I look beyond the large garden on the property, here is a gated community, and my house is secluded from the others, making the surroundings quiet, with only the singing of a few birds interrupting the silence.
I take a deep breath and return to my room, put on a t-shirt, and go downstairs for dinner. Greta had already left, leaving everything neat on the kitchen counter, so I sit down and start eating. While eating, I access Instagram and search for Rafa's profile. I find it easily as it's public. I start following her and look at the photos of her and the kids.
Each smile is more beautiful than the last. It seems like it's her first Instagram, as I keep scrolling down and find photos of her pregnant, with the newborn twins, one year old, two... In all these years, I had never looked for her on any social media, until now...
I would give anything to see her pregnant again... She looked so beautiful... I continue looking at their photos and save most of them to my gallery. I finish everything and go to bed. Tomorrow, I plan to visit my parents, and on Sunday... Visit my children, and of course... Rafa.
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