Yes, I left. I left without looking back, I was too tired and I just needed an isolated corner to rest.
Was it easy? It wasn't! I spent so many years cultivating hopes, repeating movements that my new life was very strange to me, it seemed wrong, it seemed that at any moment everything would end.
At first I struggled not to run to the hospital where Henry was and help him get dressed and introduce him to this new world and how much had changed since the last time he saw.
But no... I didn't want to feel like Henry's crutch anymore, I didn't want to hear from him that now that he could see, I was no longer of use to him.
I am not good enough for him, I am just a little girl who wears weird clothes. He is handsome, intelligent, a CEO and would probably be ashamed to have me by his side.
I went ahead and gave him what he wanted so badly, his sight and his freedom. I'm sure after he can see, he'll find someone better than me, someone on his level.
That's how I felt, I guess I was going through Henry withdrawal.
But Mr. Kramer was changing my mind. I felt small, just a maid, and Mr. Kramer took me to Europe and put me to work as his assistant.
I felt bad next to him and the people around us, but Mr. Kramer treated me as if I were on the same level as those well-dressed and cool people who worked with us.
You see, that was a totally hostile environment for me, I had low self-esteem, but Mr. Kramer owned the biggest fashion publishing house in the world, a place where high self-esteem was highly valued.
As soon as we arrived, Mr. Kramer was taking me to famous designers' fashion shows and introducing me to important people in the fashion world. He introduced me as his new apprentice, and I was terrified.
But that's what I asked for, isn't it? I asked for a job opportunity. I didn't specify the opportunity and he gave me a position where I should always accompany him everywhere.
One day, I asked him:
"Mr. Kramer, why do you keep introducing me as your apprentice? You know, I know you have children and they should be learning from you."
"It's not what you're thinking, Camille. You are my apprentice because you have a lot of potential. I want you to learn all about this world, how it works and how to deal with people."
"Mr. Kramer, I'm happy with a small job. I can just work with the mail, as a receptionist or even cleaning. I don't intend to take advantage of your goodwill."
At that moment, Mr. Kramer got up, pulled me by the hand and placed me in front of the mirror. He brushed my hair away from my face, making me face my reflection.
"Camille, you are not only beautiful on the inside, you are a stunning woman, very beautiful on the outside. This is the best world for you to enjoy what you have on the outside. Haven't you noticed that no one has ever questioned me why I chose you? I think you are the only person in the world who can't see your beauty."
I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time, I think it was the first time I allowed myself to look at myself so much. My routine was so busy that looking in the mirror was something I didn't usually do.
"What do you intend, Mr. Kramer?"
"I intend to make you a star. A revelation of the fashion world."
"Mr. Kramer..." I lower my head, a little embarrassed. "It's just... maybe you're expecting too much from me. I just need a job to pay for rent and health insurance."
"You're thinking small, Camille! Look around you! Look at how many opportunities!"
"It's just... I don't know how to tell you. Mr. Kramer, I can't live up to your expectations because... I... I'm pregnant."
Yes, I recently found out that I didn't leave alone. Actually, I already knew before the confirmation, I just didn't want to admit it.
I was so tired that several times I forgot to take my birth control and now, I discovered that my life continues to be a life to take care of another.
"All right..." Mr. Kramer says less excitedly, but thoughtfully. "These things happen, Camille. But take this as motivation to keep going. I don't think it was by chance that I met you, it was really to help you, I won't give up on you, we'll just wait a little longer to make your star shine."
I felt a little uncomfortable with Mr. Kramer's help, but over time I realized it was because I wasn't used to being taken care of.
He was too good to me, more than he should have been. He taught me everything he knew and little by little I gained confidence.
Pregnancy was not an obstacle, even carrying my babies in my womb I continued to study and work.
I even went back to Washington a few times to visit my mother and for her to follow my pregnancy a little.
"Honey, what about Henry? Aren't you going to tell him?" It was something she always asked.
"No, Mom. I'm better off without him and he would never want to be a father to these children. Henry always told me that if I got pregnant, the responsibility would be all mine. He didn't want to be a father at all."
"Humph! He didn't want to be a father but he didn't refuse to play house!"
"It was my fault too, I let him use me. But I'm going to have my kids and I'm going to do everything I can to take care of them and I'm never going to let Henry near them. I know how much rejection hurts and my kids are never going to go through that in their lives!"
"I understand you, honey... But, it's one thing for a man to know about his child and reject him, it's another for him to not know anything. That's not rejection."
"I'm not going to pay to see that."
Yes, I wouldn't pay to see that. The more time passed, the more I got to know the world, the more I realized that my relationship with Henry was not good for me, continuing with him would get me nowhere.
My children were born, a boy and a girl, Bento and Martina.
Martina was born strong, with a lot of hair, she was blond with light eyes, simply her father's face.
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