Episode 17

Eliza...

Calmer, we got out of the car and sat on the hood.

"I don't want to die, Diana! I want to see you graduate, I want to see my nephews grow up, build my family..."

"Listen to what I'm about to say, I forbid you to say it again! You are the strongest and most determined woman I know in the world, know that you are not alone! We'll get through every stage together!"

"You don't have to do this!" I say, drying a few tears that insist on falling.

"Eliza, you've always been by my side, you've always supported me, even in my mistakes! And nothing I do can ever repay you for everything you've done, so don't say I don't have to, because I do and I want to be by your side! I love you, my sister!"

"I love you too!" I say, holding back the tears.

I've never been as vulnerable as I am now.

Ever since our parents died, I've had Mom's words in my head: "Take care of your sister!". That's what I did, always trying to be strong, to take care of her.

"I know you're scared, I am too, but we'll get through it! In a few years' time, we'll look back and see how strong we were, how much we've matured!" she says with a tear in her voice.

Your words ease some of the anguish and fear I'm feeling, but I still don't feel well enough. I think I need time to take it all in.

Finding out you have cancer has a huge impact on you and it's inevitable not to feel afraid.

Once again we hugged and walked home in silence. Diana called the company and said she couldn't go to work, but that she would make up for today tomorrow.

We arrive home and are greeted by the children with hugs and kisses. There's no way you can let sadness take over when you have little angels as special as these.

"Auntie Cholo?" Diana asks, with her little hand on my cheek.

"Auntie's got a sore back, but I'll be fine soon!" I reply.

"Beijinho cula titia!" says Ravi on his mother's lap, holding out his hand to me.

I held back the emotion of the innocence of his words.

One on each side, they kiss my cheek, making me fall even more in love and with a certain anguish, fear of never seeing them again.

Peter's countenance is worried, and he signals for us to go to the bedroom.

I left the children with Diana in the living room and we went up to the bedroom.

As soon as I enter, he closes the door.

I sit down on the bed, take a deep breath and tell him the results of the test.

"Breast cancer Eliz? This is very serious! Do you know what you'll have to face? You may have to have your breasts removed and..." he says, sitting down next to me in disbelief.

He runs his hands through her hair and strokes her face in his hands.

I confess, it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I expected to be welcomed into his arms, to be told that everything would be fine and that he would be by my side. However, his words brought even more fear.

"What will become of us, Eliza? Our plans?"

"Are you worried about our plans? Do you hear yourself, Peter? I could die and you're worried about plans?"

"I'm sorry, forgive me! I'm really scared!"

He pulls me into a hug, but I feel guilty and can't even cry.

I say I want to be alone and I spend the whole morning in my room.

In the afternoon, Diana says she has to go out and asks me to stay with the children.

I play with them and don't even see the day go by.

My sister comes back from the street at night, looking tired and worried.

I decide to open the bar, as all the staff have come.

Peter's sister arrives to stay with the twins and I notice that she's quiet, probably already aware of my problem.

Working, I forget about it, Diana comes on stage and sings upbeat songs. Peter and I don't talk anymore, he's very quiet.

The truth is that everything fell apart for everyone with this news.

At one point, Diana goes home, my boyfriend's sister says goodbye and I notice that her brother is following her. I feel like going after them, I hide and they seem to argue.

"Are you going to keep acting like this with me, sis?"

"You're an idiot, we have nothing to talk about!"

"Look, I'm not going to break up with Eliza, I've thought it through and she needs me, all of us!"

"At least you made a decent decision! She dedicated several years of her life to you, you can't leave her at this important moment!"

"Ana, I'm scared! To be honest, I don't know if I can bear to see her suffering!"

"Relationship and marriage are like that, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow!"

I take a few steps forward, as soon as they notice my presence they stop talking.

"Eliz..."

"Don't say anything! You know what you have to do!" I say with tears in my eyes.

"Eliza, I'm sorry for this!" says his sister.

I weakly smile and return to the bar.

"Eliz, let's talk!" He says right behind me.

"Peter, just do what your heart says I will understand! I don't want your pity, I can't and I won't force you to be by my side!"

He leaves with a defeated look.

I was closing the bar, when he comes down the stairs, carrying his suitcases.

With tears in his eyes, he says to me:

"Forgive me!"

Nervously, I smile, open the door for him, and he leaves without looking back.

I enter the house, Diana is in her room, I go to mine, grab my clothes and go take a shower.

As the hot water starts to run down my body, tears roll down my face, with a mix of feelings, a combination of anger, sadness, restlessness, anguish, and fear.

I punch the wall, exhausted, lean against it, slide down and sit on the floor. I cry uncontrollably, with a thousand and one things running through my mind.

Diana enters the bathroom, helps me finish my shower, takes me to the bedroom, lays me down on the bed, and lies behind me, trying to calm me down, but the tears couldn't be contained, they were stronger than me.

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