DOMINIC,
"This time, I am going to put forth my utmost effort for her. I’ll bestow all my love upon her, and if she doesn't love me back, I'll love enough for both of us. Love will abound, and she's so sweet, she's bound to feel the same before long. They say love is infectious; I'm holding out hope that's true.
For the second time, I kiss her and she reciprocates without any objection. She accepts the kiss willingly. We’re swaying to the rhythm of heartbeats. I guide her from side to side, and she follows my lead, almost like a true dancer.
Breaking from the kiss, I lean my forehead against hers, her eyes still closed. Her face is so delicate it carries me away in an almost ethereal manner.
"I already love you so much, Allana. I know I'm selfish to bind you to me, but I can’t let you go. When I die, you'll inherit my entire estate, and I hope you won’t suffer too much after I'm gone. Be strong, and carry on my legacy. You'll never have to live on the streets again; from today, you are a multimillionaire woman.
What if she falls in love and is devastated by my death? What if she's so strong that the shock causes her great sorrow, leads her into depression, or worse, to die as well?
I can't do that to her. I've already caused her plenty of grief. I can't inflict more pain. She'll hate me even more than she already does. But what do I do? I'm not ready to detach from her. I wish for her to be with me at all times, but the thought of her crying over my death tears me apart completely.
I halt our dance, and she opens her eyes. I smile at her, and she comes forward to kiss me. Look at that, she kissed me of her own volition without me having to ask.
We're making progress. I return her kiss warmly, holding her tightly in my arms. This kiss she's given me signals that she's as smitten as I am, or she wouldn’t have kissed me at all.
We head to the bed, and I lie down. She lays down facing me.
So beautiful... Oh, Allana, if only my time was not so fleeting. You have no idea that in two months you’ll be sleeping in this bed alone.
I stroke her face, and she closes her eyes.
But another grave concern torments me. I wanted her to fall in love with me, but how will she cope when I die?
What’s worse, the pain of loss or the pain of disillusionment?
My father died a month after my mother passed away. She had a severe brain tumor and died during surgery. My father was overcome with such deep sadness that he passed away a month later, with no apparent cause.
The doctor said his heart simply stopped.
I don't want Allana to die. I don't want this pattern to repeat in my life. I must deal with this, try to resolve it this week.
A week goes by, and the day of my death draws closer. I can only manage a few activities without getting worn out, so I always take Allana to do less strenuous things, hoping she won't notice, like reading books in the library. Typically, she reads for me, as it wouldn't make sense for me to read to her.
We have a lot of fun in the game room. She's very clever, even sneaky. She's now sweet, not as aggressive, but I haven't touched her beyond kisses, which now she volunteers willingly. I see that she’s in love, and that completely shatters me. How can I leave her this way?
I'm alone in my office, while she's still sleeping in the bedroom. It’s 5:30 in the morning, and I need to resolve this matter before I pass and it leaves her distraught.
I call my lawyer.
"Good morning, Mr. Bernardes."
"Good morning, Ramon. I need your services urgently."
"Of course, sir. How can I assist you?"
"I need you to file for a divorce on my behalf."
"But you haven't even been married a month, sir."
"I have less than 40 days to live. I can't let my wife suffer because of my death. Please bring the papers here, and we'll sort the rest of the process."
He agrees and will be here soon.
I don’t want to lose her, but I also don’t want her to follow me in death.
It’s 7:30 when the lawyer arrives at my home.
Rosa brings him to my office, and as soon as he enters, I lock the door.
"Sir, are you absolutely sure about this?"
"I have no choice. But there are some specifics I want included in the proceedings."
"Go ahead, I'll take notes." He sits in a chair opposite me.
"I want all my assets, everything in my name, to transfer automatically to Allana upon my death. She won't need to worry about chasing anything down."
"What if she tries to kill you to inherit everything sooner? Forgive me, sir." He apologizes upon seeing my look of anger.
"First, she'll only find out that she's inherited everything after I die. Second, if she kills me today, she’s simply advancing my timeline, since my death is already certain."
"Very well, sir. I’ll have everything prepared for you both to sign by this afternoon."
I nod, and he leaves the office.
I spend the rest of the day in the office. I won't have the courage to face her after what I've done. Sometimes I hear knocks on the door, followed by her sweet voice asking if I'm there. In those moments, I break down in tears.
"DAMNATION!"
Cursed illness, and the doctor hasn't called to say a new lung has been found. That would be my only hope to live alongside her.
At 2:30 pm, the lawyer arrives. When he enters the office, Allana comes in with him, her face tinged with anger towards me.
He sits, and she stands by his side.
Well, this is it, Allana... your freedom, and my heartache.
"Sir, may I speak with her now?"
"She's deaf; you'll have to write for her to understand."
"I have a son who’s deaf-mute; I can communicate with her using sign language."
I'm taken aback but now is the time, and there will be no more delaying.
"Please, go ahead and help me explain."
He gestures to get her attention, and she looks his way. He starts communicating using signs.
Her eyes, filled with hostility when she entered, shift to sadness, and tears start to stream down her face.
She looks at me and shakes her head.
"Divorce? You're giving me a divorce now?"
"Yes... You’re free."
The lawyer signed to her.
"Tell her I've fallen in love with someone else."
He looks at me inquisitively, but at my instruction, he communicates the message.
Once more he signs to her, and as the translation unfolds, her eyes widen with shock. She looks at me incredulously, signs the document the lawyer presents, and I watch tears fall on the paper. This is incredibly painful.
He signs to her again, and she turns to look at me. She closes her eyes, and I see more tears. When her eyes open, they blaze with anger.
"I thought you had changed, that you had become a better, more respectful man, but you remain the same despicable fool as always, right from the start you... I hate you, Dominic. I HATE YOU!"
"Don’t hate me, Allana. I love you so much."
She stands up, flustered, and rushes out of the office. My head falls. Her words of hatred rend me inside as if nothing else matters to me anymore. I don't even have to wait for my days to end, as I am already dead inside."
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