"Mama…" Susana whispers the single word in a robotic gesture. Lying in the hospital bed, she contemplates the ceiling pensively, her fingers softly caressing the smooth skin of her nearly flat stomach. "I want to leave this place."
"I know, my daughter," Teresa says with compassion, studying Susana's fatigued face. "Dr. Anibal says you'll be discharged today." Standing up from the chair next to the bed, she immediately takes Susana's hands, offering comfort. "He just doesn't want you to go without talking to someone...a specialist...do you understand?"
"I don't need a psychologist to deal with my pain, mom," Susana replies, looking at her mother with overwhelming sadness. "If you think about it...there's no trace that he ever existed…" Her voice falters, and she shakes her head, refusing to succumb to tears again. "So if I don’t remember, I won’t suffer. I just need to get away from everything, from everyone…"
"What do you mean?" Her mother looks at her anxiously.
"That I want to get out of here…" Susana looks seriously at her mother. "Out of this city, this country if necessary."
"Susana…" Teresa sighs deeply; the situation is indeed painful, but leaving everything she has built, plus there was something she couldn't leave behind. Shaking her head, she declares, "Running away won’t help." Stroking her hair affectionately, Teresa tries to reassure her daughter. "The pain will always be with you, but I promise it'll get easier... with time."
"Do you really believe that, Mom?" Susana clenches her jaw before continuing. "Our neighbors…" she crosses her arms over her chest and asks, "Will they really stop talking in the coming months? Will they leave us alone with my mourning and stop asking questions?"
"What?" Teresa had completely forgotten about those vultures who, when they caught wind of gossip, wouldn't let go until they knew every detail. "Well..." At a loss for words, she falls silent, thoughtful, but then she starts, "And my job, daughter? I can't just abandon people like that, out of the blue."
"Mama…" Susana sighs wearily from the discussion, leaning back on the pillow and murmuring, "You clean houses... and still, you're underpaid…" Turning her back on her mother, she adds with a defeated voice, "You could find the same work anywhere."
"Try to understand, my daughter…" Teresa lies down beside Susana on the small bed. Embracing her daughter, she kisses the top of her head. "It's hard for me to leave my home, my daily routine... just like that."
"I know…" Susana lets her tears silently roll down her face, realizing she has only been thinking of herself. She couldn't bear to stay and continue the daily routine as if nothing were missing. "I'm sorry for being so selfish..." she says, breathing deeply and sadly. "Ever since Dad left...you've always been the only one to give up something to give me what I needed, what I wanted..."
"Don’t say that." Teresa's heart clenches as she hears those words. They had a relationship not just as mother and daughter, but from a young age, they became best friends, and this wouldn’t change now when Susana needed her most. "I've always told you that you weren't a burden to me..." Frustrated, she sighs deeply. After five years of someone's disappearance, the government would declare the person dead, which had allowed Teresa to receive a life insurance payout that her husband had made years before. The amount was substantial, enough to pay off their home, cover the private clinic in secret, and support herself and her daughter without much trouble for some years. Swallowing hard, she strokes her daughter's face, moved. "And now that you've become an adult, graduated with honors..." She smiles proudly. "It's the right time for you to choose how you want to follow your path." She smiles, stroking her hair. "You've finished your studies and, young as you are, you can start working and travel the world, during vacation, of course." She forces a laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but with no success. "You have to enjoy your life to the fullest, daughter, we only get one chance."
"To the fullest, mom?" Susana turns to face her mother, almost sobbing. "How... when I feel a hole in my chest."
"I know it won't be easy." Teresa wipes away her daughter's tears, feeling the pain in her soul immediately. "But we can try, can't we?" She looks at her firmly. "As always...together."
"If you don't want to come with me, mom…" Susana takes a deep breath, trying to stop her tears. She smiles at her mother, then rises from the hospital bed. "But I hope you also understand my decision." Grabbing her clothes, she heads slowly to the bathroom. Sighing before entering, she looks back at her mother with affection. "With or without you...I'm leaving."
Teresa immediately notices the determination in her daughter’s eyes, as well as in her words before closing the bathroom door behind her.
Shaking her head, a bit disoriented, Teresa doesn’t wish to leave her daughter alone in the world without support in her current state, but she also can't just abandon her husband, who is in a coma. Pacing back and forth for nearly ten minutes, she's nervous, troubled by a dilemma she can't resolve so quickly. Hearing Susana's crying from behind the wooden door, tears emerge, giving her the answer she needs for the conflict in her heart and soul.
"Susana?" Teresa knocks on the door, and the crying stops, replaced by the sound of the shower. Her daughter is trying to hide a vulnerability that will be present for a long time, giving her the strength to do what she had planned. "I need to go home for a bit, okay?"
"Yes, Mom..." Susana releases the words without opening the door.
"I might be a while, daughter..." Teresa adds with newfound spirit rising in her chest. "But I'll be back before Dr. Anibal discharges you, and then..." She smiles, knowing her daughter won't see her. "We'll go together, I promise!"
"Okay, Mom!" Susana doesn't pay much attention to her mother's words; she steps into the shower, letting the water run all over her face and body, mingling with her tears.
At least there, alone for a few minutes, she can stop being strong, relieve her pain, so that at least her heart stops bleeding and her soul...for a little while...stops screaming.
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