Chatroom of the Immortals
Chapter 5: "Magic Weapon Unboxing"
[CelestialExchange_Market — 46 new messages]
MIRA_LOPEZ
Good morning, mythical beings of weirdness.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Question:
How do I know if I’m ready for a weapon?
HeavenlySword_Emperor
When your soul resonates with one, the weapon will find you.
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
It often appears in moments of need.
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Or chaos..
MIRA_LOPEZ
...Okay so here’s the thing.
MIRA_LOPEZ
I just sneezed.
And something SHINY shot out of my power bank.
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥 YESSSS SHE GOT A SPIRIT ITEM
DID IT EXPLODE???
MIRA_LOPEZ
No, but now I’m holding this… glowing silver ring??
It’s vibrating.
I think it hummed at me.
Is this a magical mood ring???
Silent_Scroll_Sage
Focus.
Channel Qi through it.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Alright…
Charging… my inner chakra or whatever…
MIRA_LOPEZ
...OH MY GOD.
THE RING TURNED INTO A KNIFE.
NO. WAIT.
A SWORD.
Cosmic_Panda
🐼🥳 unboxing level: god-tier
congrats on your first spirit weapon
Iron_Will_Grandmaster
You have bonded with a Blade Spirit.
Treat it with respect.
Jade_Cloud_Healer
Please do not swing it near pets or elderly relatives 🙏
MIRA_LOPEZ
I ACCIDENTALLY SLASHED THROUGH A FRYING PAN
MIRA_LOPEZ
MY EGGS ARE DEAD 😭🍳
📦 [Item Acquired: Spirit Weapon — Silver Wind Saber]
📄 Bound to user: Mira Lopez
🔓 Special Ability: Air Blade Slash (Low-tier locked)
MIRA_LOPEZ
WHAT THE HELL
IT CUT THROUGH METAL LIKE TOFU
I WAS JUST MAKING BREAKFAST
HeavenlySword_Emperor
Your blade has awakened.
The Saber of the Silver Wind has accepted you.
HeavenlySword_Emperor
Feed it Qi. Temper it with discipline.
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥 I CUT A WHOLE TREE IN HALF THE FIRST TIME
YOU’RE FINE 🔥
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Do not use it for cooking.
Weapons hold grudges.
MIRA_LOPEZ
So you’re saying...
My weapon now hates eggs??
Silent_Scroll_Sage
Likely.
Do not mock it.
MIRA_LOPEZ
I’m literally scared of my own ring now.
It’s just sitting on my table, glowing like it knows what I did 😭
System Message:
🗡️ Spirit Weapon Bond Established
🎯 Side Quest Unlocked: “First Training: Air Blade Practice (Beginner Tier)”
📈 Qi Stability: 12%
💡 Tip: Avoid activating sword indoors
MIRA_LOPEZ
Noted.
No more slicing things inside.
Or during breakfast.
MIRA_LOPEZ
So… anyone wanna swap recipes that don’t involve destroying cookware?
Cosmic_Panda
🐼 microwave noodles ftw
no blades required
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