Chatroom of the Immortals
Chapter 3: "Miracle Pill and Nosebleeds"
[Private Chat: Mira & Self]
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okay. Okay.
Deep breaths.
Let’s go over what just happened.
1. Got stuck in a fantasy group chat I can’t leave.
2. Accidentally traded Korean chicken for a “Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth.”
3. It appeared on my desk.
4. Still glowing. Still weirdly warm.
5. Smells like mint and… space???
[CelestialExchange_Market — 128 new messages]
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
I ATE MY SECOND BUCKET OF FIRE NOODLES 🔥🔥🔥
MY INNER CORE IS MELTING BUT WORTH IT 🔥
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
How's the pill, Mira of Earth?
Has it been consumed?
MIRA_LOPEZ
No!!
Of course not!!
MIRA_LOPEZ
I don’t even know if it's edible or radioactive 😭 What if I die and become a tree???
Jade_Cloud_Healer
The Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth is sacred.
Safe. Pure.
Jade_Cloud_Healer
Test it on one who suffers. Its energy will guide you.
[Private Chat: Mira & Self]
MIRA_LOPEZ
...Lola’s been coughing all day.
Doctors said it’s just age.
Always says her bones hurt.
She even joked: “If only I could drink something to feel young again.”
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okay. Fine. Just a pinch. Just to test.
MIRA_LOPEZ
EVERYONE WAKE UP
MIRA_LOPEZ
SOMETHING IS HAPPENING
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥🔥🔥 WHAT HAPPENED???
IS IT AN EXPLOSION???
MIRA_LOPEZ
I gave half the pill to my lola
MIRA_LOPEZ
She was SLEEPING
She woke up, coughed once—AND HER HAIR TURNED BLACK
MIRA_LOPEZ
Her back STRAIGHTENED
She said,
“Wow, ang gaan ng katawan ko,”
and then started DANCING
DANCING.
MIRA_LOPEZ
TO A NOVA VINTAGE DISCO CD!!
WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
The pill has begun restoring her vitality. Your lola’s spirit energy is awakening.
Iron_Will_Grandmaster
Earth elders can move that way? Impressive.
MIRA_LOPEZ
My mom came home and thought lola was possessed 😭😭
MIRA_LOPEZ
She screamed and called the barangay
I HAD TO FAKE A NOSEBLEED TO DISTRACT HER
Cosmic_Panda
😂😂😂 nosebleed strat always works 🐼💉
classic Earth deception technique
Silent_Scroll_Sage
Thus the first miracle is witnessed.
Mark this day. The merchant awakens.
MIRA_LOPEZ
This isn’t a game anymore.
That pill…
It really works.
So that means—
EVERYTHING else in the chat is real too?
HeavenlySword_Emperor
You now understand.
We do not jest.
System Message:
📜 Side Quest Completed: "Test the Pill"
🧭 New Quest Unlocked: "Begin Cultivation: Basic Qi-Gathering (Level 1)"
📈 Market Level Increased: 2
🎒 New Feature: “Spirit Inventory” unlocked
MIRA_LOPEZ
No. Nope.
I just wanted to sell milk tea and pay my internet bill 😩
Now I have a cultivation quest??
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥 WELCOME TO THE CLUB
FIRST YOU PANIC
THEN YOU POWER UP 🔥
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
The first trade is complete.
Destiny stirs.
Will you walk the path… or return to ignorance?
MIRA_LOPEZ
Do I still get to sell iPhones?
Cosmic_Panda
🐼 only if they’re enchanted✨📱
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