PART:II- 51.CILLIAN SEBASTIAN MERRICK

HANA

     Mateo is not at all happy with my decision to visit Bash.

    "I can't live like this," I tried to explain. When did this happen? When did I become so close with my two colleagues that my body refused to step out without convincing Mateo that whatever I was doing was for my own good? "I need a closure. I will just talk to him and I can't reach my sister. I need to see her too."

      I felt awful for wanting to meet my sister when I was actually going to meet Bash. I never would have gone just to see her. That realisation only made me feel more selfish. I put Bash above everyone.

       "You are going with hope for the future, Hana. Not for closure. No matter what you told yourself, that's the truth." Mateo declared, and Shalini punched him on his biceps.

       "What's wrong with that?" She asked him. "What's wrong in hope for a future with the person?"

        "That will only make you an emotional fool," He says. His eyes darted to me, "You are more practical than this."

        I sighed, got up and sat beside Mateo on my couch. "I know I am. I thought I could handle this. I couldn't, Mateo. I just wanted him to know that I loved him enough to face my nightmares and that we had a chance. And if it doesn't work out, at least, I will get the closure I need. Either way, it's me who benefits from that."

        "I hope for the same," Shalini folded her arms below her chin and looked at us. "I am going to India and hopefully get married."

         Mateo and I abruptly stood up in shock. "Did he propose?" I asked her wide-eyed. She shook her head.

          "Akash's parents and my parents think that it's high time we take a step. My folks can't wait for more."

           "Will you come back if you get married?" Mateo questioned her. Shalini shook her head, and his lips immediately turned down. "I hate you both," He muttered under his breath and walked out of my bedroom.

           "He is upset," Shalini murmured.

           "Do you really want to get married to the guy who makes you wait for two days to reply to a message?" I asked her.

           "We are different when we are together. We are all fools in love anyway. Like you, either I will get my closure or I will have my happy ending."

          "Fools," I heard Mateo say from my living room. I can't help but agree with him.

           We are fools in love.

           I carefully packed the Stiletto plumps I bought for Violet. I packed clothes for a week just to be cautious. I wonder how Bash reacts when he sees me. Will he walk to me with passion in his eyes, a smile on his lips and his hands reaching out to me to draw me closer like he always did? Or will I get a closure? I don't know. But I want to end this chaos inside me.

          Shalini and I decided to depart to our respective destinations on the same day. Mateo was still upset with us.

           "I am only going for a week," I assured him.

           "And if you guys made up, you will stay there forever." He said with a thick voice.

           I cupped his face, making him focus on my face. "I will never leave without a goodbye, Mateo," I tell him. I know very well what it does to a person. I have been there.

           "What's the point? We don't get to go to the mall together," He pouted. He actually pouted like our old kid-Mateo.

            Shalini laughed ruffling his hair. "We will. Because the shopping for Indian wedding takes months. I will send you the card and both of you get your asses to Chennai no matter wherever the hell you are."

              "Yes mam," Mateo and I said in unison. I am not sure if that Akash guy is correct to her or not. But she loves him dearly. He is the only guy she has ever loved. If this marriage makes her happy, then I am happy.

             "I have to give the I- will- kill- you- if- you- don't- treat- her- right- speech to Akash," Mateo tells her. That made her laugh.

             "That's exactly what Sebastian would have said if he was alive." She said to him.

             "Sebastian?" I asked her in confusion.

              "My brother who died. His name was Sebastian."

             I always knew that she had a twin who died when she was a child. But I never thought his name was Sebastian too. Shalini seldom talks about him.

            We bid our goodbyes and departed from Istanbul. Throughout the entire flight, my mind raced with the thoughts of what might have happened. My nerves are never calm and my heart raced inside my chest. It would stop once I saw him. Everything will come to an end once I talk to him. I couldn't even sleep or eat anything on the flight. I couldn't stay calm.

            I texted Violet to let her know that I was coming. I hope she responds to my message and meets me once. It's a twelve-hour-long flight. When I landed, I changed into the dress he liked.

             There is a high chance of crossing paths with Cillian if had gone to Bash's home. Before marriage, I went to his home and I remember Violet saying that Bash lives closely. I reached that place first, hoping that I could ask someone for Bash's address or at least get his number.

             I stood outside the huge mansion. Cecilia Merrick once told me that the two cousins live in separate wings here. But it feels like a bad idea. I clutched onto my backpack and exhaled deeply as though it would give me enough courage to ring the bell. The watchman looked at me with a weird expression on his face.

             "Does Sebastian live here?" I asked him.

              He gave me a nod. "Aren't you the bride who ran away?" He asked me.

            I gave him an awkward smile. He made a call to someone. I am assuming it was Bash. By now, he would know that I am here.

           "You can go in," He says and guides me through the huge mansion. We reached the same place I had been months ago, at Cillian's wing.

          "No, I want to meet Sebastian. Not Cillian," I tell him.

          Did he call Cillian instead? I am doomed if that's the case.

          The guard gave me an annoying look.

           "There is Mr. Cillian Sebastian Merrick and there is Mr. Sebastian Merrick. Whom do you want to meet?" He asked me impatiently.

           What? Cillian is Cillian Sebastian? I remember Rose's letter to Xavier where she wrote about two men who sacrificed their lives to help her run away; Cillian and Sebastian. I thought the cousins got the names from them. Why would my ex-fiance be named Cillian Sebastian? It was odd. Something about this doesn't feel right.

            Cheers erupted from outside and looked out of the window. Some kind of celebration is going on there.

            "Aren't you here for the party?" The guard asked me.

            "Which party?"

           "Your ex-fiance's engagement party of course."

           Cillian is getting engaged? With whom? I quickly nodded my head so that I would raise more suspicion to him.

           "Both of them are here, right? Cillian Sebastian and Sebastian?"

           "Yes," He said, looking at me in annoyance.

           "Thanks," I murmured and walked out into the garden. Everyone was dressed for the engagement party while I was wearing a beige skirt and a black sweater. I got some strange looks. I quickly pulled my mask over my face to avoid recognition from anyone.

         I saw Violet at a table, giggling with her friends. She is wearing a silver-colored long slit dress. She is in fact shining. I sighed in relief when I spotted her. This is a good sign. There are a lot of things I wanted to tell her. I made my way towards her.

         She didn't look at me as she was busy in talking with her friends. At some point she turned around, her eyes brightened and a huge smile touched her lips.

         My eyes followed her gaze and settled on one person I had been hoping to meet for a month now.

          Bash. My heart skipped at the sight before me.

          Black tux, slicked-back long hair, sea-green eyes, hands tugging at his watch, and full lips whose touch I never forgot.

           My Bash. Tears welled in my eyes and I quickly averted my gaze so that I wouldn't burst out. Finally. I am here.

          Before Bash.

          "Cillian," Violet called with a smile. I looked for Cillian but he was nowhere to be found.

          Violet walked towards Bash, entangled her hand with hers and placed a kiss on his lips which he returned.

           "Cillian, meet my friends." She said, and Bash smiled at the group of people before them.

            My heart pounded in my chest, my insides cringing, my brain screaming and my legs glued to the ground where I stood.

             Cillian! Cillian Sebastian Merrick.

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