Mo' Danger Mo'Problems

[screaming]

[crashing]

[elevator dings]

[groans and exhales]

Henry: He's got to fix that elevator. Ray. Ray,you triple beeped me. What's the emergency? "Hey Henry. Put this watch on your wrist." Sure. What else would I put it on?

Ray: (on watch) Hiya,Henry

Henry: Oh! Ray?

Ray: (on watch) Yep. I'm hovering over your wrist in hologram form

[screaming]

Ray: (on watch) You poked my eye out!

Henry: Oh,I'm sorry. I'm sorry

Ray: (on watch) I'm just kidding. You can't hurt a hologram or a Captain Man

Henry: This is so cool. It's like we're in the same room

Ray: (on watch) We are

Henry: Where'd you...

Ray: Peek-a-boo

[screams]

Ray: Now,take off your old wrist band

Henry: Okay. Why am I...

Ray: From now on I'm going to contact you on your new whiz watch

Henry: So,what do I do with the old one?

Ray: Toss it up in the air

Henry: Why?

Ray: It's about to self-destruct

Henry: Oh

[beeping]

Ray: Hmm,that's weird. It was supposed to--

[clearing throats]

Ray: I see you're wearing pajama pants

Henry: Yeah. It's almost midnight. I was studying for this huge test I have tomorrow

Ray: What subject?

Henry: Puerto Rican history

Ray: Ah,Puerto Rico. Land of...

Henry: Puerto Ricans?

Ray: Right

[alarm wailing]

Ray: Uh-oh. What's up,Gooch?

Gooch: (on computer) There's a robbery in progress

Ray: Where?

Gooch: (on computer) At the 24-hour antique bottle shop

Henry: Glass From The Past?

Gooch: (on computer) Affirmative

Ray: On it. Shall we?

Henry: Let's blow some bubbles and fight some crime

Ray/Captain Man: Let's hit it,Kid Danger

Henry/Kid Danger: Fist

Ray/Captain Man: Up the tube

Henry/Kid Danger: Aw,my boot

Ray/Captain Man: Yell "up the boot"

Henry/Kid Danger: Up the boot! Ow!

Ray/Captain Man: Ha!

Shaft: Come on,bro,open up that cash register

Glass Store Owner: I'm going as fast as I can,boss

Shaft: Hey,give me that pretty lavender bottle 'cause it matches my motorcycle helmet

Glass Store Owner: Okay,okay

Shaft: You better bubble wrap that,chump

Glass Store Owner: Yes,sir. Yes,sir

Shaft: That ain't no good to me busted

Ray/Captain Man: Excuse me

Shaft: What the--

Glass Store Owner: Captain Man!

Ray/Captain Man: I hope you're planning to pay for that lavender bottle

Henry/Kid Danger: And I hope that,too

Glass Store Owner: Kid Danger!

Henry/Kid Danger: Yeah

Shaft: I ain't afraid of you

Ray/Captain Man: Try again. Keep your left arm straight. Strike three

Henry/Kid Danger: That was only two

Ray/Captain Man: Okay,don't correct me in front of the criminals

[grunting]

Glass Store Owner: Oh no!

Ray/Captain Man: You really want to fight us?

Shaft: Can I just fight the kid?

Ray/Captain Man: No,you can't just fight--

Henry/Kid Danger: Sure he can. Come on,tough guy

Shaft: Okay

Henry/Kid Danger: Hey,what are you--(muffled grunts) Oh,this smells so bad!

Glass Store Owner: No! Those are for display only!

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger,catch this golf club!

Henry/Kid Danger: Ow!

Glass Store Owner: You're not helping me!

Henry/Kid Danger: Captain Man,where are you?

Ray/Captain Man: Follow the sound of my voice!

Henry/Kid Danger: Marco!

Ray/Captain Man: Polo!

Glass Store Owner: Stop it!

Henry/Kid Danger: Marco!

Ray/Captain Man: Polo!

Glass Store Owner: Stop it!

Henry/Kid Danger: Marco!

Ray/Captain Man: Polo!

Glass Store Owner: Could you superheroes please just leave?

[groans]

Henry/Kid Danger: Marco!

Glass Store Owner: Oh no!

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger. Kid Danger. Kid Danger. Kid Danger

Henry/Kid Danger: Where is he? Did I get him?

Ray/Captain Man: Yeah,you got him

Glass Store Owner: My whole store is destroyed

Ray/Captain Man: No need to thank us

Glass Store Owner: Thank you?

Ray/Captain Man: You're welcome. Let's go,Kid Danger

Glass Store Owner: No! Nobody leaves until you boys clean up all of this broken glass

Ray/Captain Man: All right

Henry/Kid Danger: But I got to be up at 7:00 A.M for my test at school

Ray/Captain Man: This will only take us,like,five hours. I'll get you a broom

Sharona: Henry? Henry? Henry? Henry. Henry!

Henry: Whoa,what happened? Did you give me a wet willy?

Charlotte: Mm-hmm. It was real wet

Sharona: You slept through your entire test

Henry: I did?

Sharona: You all see this boy? This is what happens when you stay up all night on Twitflash and Twiddlegram

Jasper: Excuse me,Miss Shapen?

Sharona: What?

Jasper: Can I have a wet willy?

[theme music playing]

[door opens]

Jasper: Hey

Charlotte: Hey-hey. What are we watching?

Jasper: Natural Surgery

Charlotte: What is Natural Surgery?

Jasper: They do surgery,but with no anesthesia

Charlotte: No pain killers?

Jasper: None. See? That guy's getting a heart bypass

[man screaming]

Melody: Wicked

Charlotte: Hey Henry,come check out this show

Jasper: What's in the mug?

Henry: Coffee. To keep myself alive

Charlotte: No,no,no

Henry: What? Hey,bring that back

Charlotte: You're 13. You can't be drinking this much coffee after school

Henry: Charlotte

Charlotte: This mug is comedically large

Henry: But I need it

[TV turns off]

Jasper: What's the matter with you?

Henry: Nothing. I'm just...I got a lot going on

Jasper: Is it your hormones? Is your body changing,too? You been having weird dreams?

Henry: I haven't had any dreams because I'm not getting any sleep

Charlotte: I have the same dream all the time. It always starts with me getting a horse for my birthday,and then Jasper shows up,and then the horse kicks Jasper in the face

Jasper: But I end up being okay,right?

Charlotte: No

Kris: We're home. Henry come help me,please

Piper: Henry,come help your mother

Henry: What,what,what?

Kris: We got everything you need for you to make your chili balls for dinner tonight

Henry: Oh,no,no,no. I cannot make dinner tonight

Kris: We already bought everything. And it is your night

Piper: Make 'em spicy this time

Henry: Mom,seriously,I'm,like,so busy,I don't have time

Jasper: Hey,Piper

Piper: Oh,man,Jasper's here?

Kris: Piper,be nice

Piper: But Jasper's always here. It's not okay

Jasper: I'm going to the bathroom

Piper: Oh no,Mom. Jasper's going to use our bathroom

Kris: We'll be all right

Jake: Hey,everyone

Kris: Hi,honey

Charlotte: Hi,Mr. Hart

Jake: Charlotte

Piper: Jasper's in the bathroom

Jake: Ah,jeez

Piper: And Henry said he didn't want to make dinner

Jake: What? It's his night

Henry: I'm going to make dinner

Jake: Um,Henry,before you start...

Henry: What's up?

Jake: I got a call at work today from one of your teachers,Miss Shapen?

Henry: Wh--She called you at work? That's so rude of her

Jake: Apparently you fell asleep in class today and failed your Puerto Rican history test

Henry: Well...

Jake: Do you realize how important Puerto Rican history is?

Henry: Yeah. I'm sorry I fell asleep in class

Jake: Well,your teacher says it's been happening a lot. Falling asleep in class,not doing your homework

Henry: I know,it's...It's just kind of tough with school and my new job at Junk-N-Stuff

Jake: Well,if you can't keep your grades up,you're going to have to quit your job

Henry: I can't quit. My job's a really big deal

Jake: It's a junk shop. You sweep the floors

Henry: Miss Shapen said I can take a makeup test before school on Friday

Jake: I expect an "A"

Henry: You got it. I'll go upstairs and study right now

Jake: Hey,whoa,whoa. Hey,hey,hey. You study after you make the chili balls

Henry: But--

Jake: And make 'em spicy this time

Piper: Yeah!

Henry: Okay. Chili balls

Jake: Finally

Kris: Ah,ah,ah! Piper,no computers at the dinner table

Piper: But this morning I posted a comment and my comment has over 45 comments,so now I have to comment on the comments

Jake: I'm about to comment on you

Piper: What?

[watch beeping]

Henry: Uh,sorry,too tired to eat. Got to go to bed

Jake: More balls for us

[watch continues beeping]

Ray/Captain Man: (on watch) Henry,why aren't you on your way here?

Henry: Because I got in trouble for sleeping in class today and I had to make chili balls

Ray/Captain Man: (on watch) Chili balls?

Henry: It was my night

Ray/Captain Man: (on watch) Kid,there's been an escape from Swellview prison I need you

Henry: All right,I'll be there in 10 minutes

Ray/Captain Man: (on watch) Good. Run like a bunny

Henry: Okay. I just got to get my special gum. I can do this. I just...(shudders) Wake up. Wake up. Just got to stand up. And maybe...Just...Run like a bunny. Run little bunny

[watch beeping]

[grunts]

Ray/Captain Man: Henry!

[knocking]

Ray/Captain Man: Henry,open up!

[watch stops beeping]

Henry: Ugh,what is that smell?

Ray/Captain Man: I'm that smell

Henry: Wh--Captain Man? What are you doing here?

Ray/Captain Man: What are you doing here?

Henry: Huh?

Ray/Captain Man: I called you 90 minutes ago and I told you we had an emergency

Henry: Oh,right. I...I guess I fell asleep

Ray/Captain Man: (mocking) "I guess I fell asleep"

Henry: (sniffs) Ugh,why do you stink?

Ray/Captain Man: I stink because I just spent the last hour chasing three criminals through the Swellview sewer. You know what's down in the Swellview sewer?

Henry: Poop?

Ray/Captain Man: Poop!

Piper: (in the hallway) Henry! Hey!

[banging]

Henry: Oh,my sister

Ray/Captain Man: We have a lot to talk about

Henry: Just get--

Ray/Captain Man: Don't you push me

[screams]

Ray/Captain Man: I'm okay!

Piper: Who were you talking to in here?

Henry: (scoffs) Nobody

Piper: Mom!

Henry: Ah,geez

Kris: What is it,sweetie?

Piper: Henry was talking to someone in his room and now he says nobody's in here

Kris: Well,I'm sure if Henry said nobody was in here,then--(sniffs) Ugh! What is that smell?

Henry: Uh...it's Piper

Piper: What?

Henry: She hasn't had a bath in a week

Piper: That's a lie

Kris: Okay,come on,baby,we're going to go get you a bath

Piper: I don't need a bath! Mom!

Kris: It's just a bath

[screams]

Henry: Don't sneak up on me like that

Ray/Captain Man: You disappointed me tonight

Henry: I'm disappointing everybody. People should just call me "Kid Disappointment"

Ray/Captain Man: All right,well,just tell me what the problem is

Henry: Time. School. Working for you. My family. It's just...It's a lot to handle

Ray/Captain Man: Well...I do know a guy who could get rid of your family

Henry: What?

Ray/Captain Man: Kidding. I joke. I do know a guy. Oh! I think I can fix your problem

Henry: Really?

Ray/Captain Man: Meet me at headquarters tomorrow

Henry: I'm there

Ray/Captain Man: Hey. Who's this?

Henry: My mom

Ray/Captain Man: Nice. She...She still married to your dad?

Henry: Yes

Ray/Captain Man: She ever seem lonely or bored to you?

Henry: Go home,Ray. The picture,Ray

Ray/Captain Man: Yeah,all right

[bell rings]

Sharona: All right,class,everybody take your seats. Sit down. Sientense

Charlotte: Hey,have you seen Henry?

Jasper: Uh-uh

Sharona: Dang it,where's Henry Hart? Jasper?

Jasper: He's not here

Sharona: I can see that

Charlotte: Uh,Henry's home sick

Jasper: You said you didn't know where he was

Charlotte: Yes,but we know that Henry would be in school unless he was home sick or else he'll be in trouble

Jasper: Oh,right. Henry has hepatitis

Henry: Um...What's that thing doing?

Gooch: Scanning your brain

Henry: Oh,cool

Gooch: Take a deep breath. Now,go,"ooodle,ooodle,ooodle"

Henry: Ooodle,ooodle,ooodle

Gooch: No,you're off key. It's ooodle,ooodle,ooodle

Gooch & Henry: Ooodle,ooodle,ooodle...

Henry: Why am I doing this?

Ray: Relax,kid

Henry: I can't. I got a huge makeup test tomorrow and I got to study,and you guys are making me go,ooodle,ooodle,ooodle

Gooch: Oh,no,it's,ooodle,ooodle,ooodle

Henry: I don't care! I don't have time to relax

Ray: Exactly. Your only problem is a lack of time

Gooch: Imagine if you could do all your studying for school in only 30 seconds

Henry: How can I learn anything in 30 seconds?

Ray: With this. The cerebral data transducer. Or as we call it,the H.R.Z

Gooch: This device can transfer knowledge from a data source directly into your brain

Ray: At 90 million digibles per second

Henry: Why am I locked in a chair?

Ray: Do you want to get a good grade on your Puerto Rican math test?

Henry: History

Ray: Same thing

Gooch: Let us begin the procedure

Ray: Yeah,let's do it. All right. Now,I'll set the computer to acquire all the world's historical knowledge on Puerto Rico

Henry: Whoa,intense. But,uh,will this hurt?

Gooch: Yes,very much

Henry: What?

Ray: Power up

[groans]

Henry: Sweet! Wait,so,how will I know--Whoa,it hurts!

Ray: Just enjoy it

[screaming]

[groaning]

Ray: Well?

Henry: That hurt bad

Gooch: Yes,but tell us about Puerto Rico

Henry: I don't know anything about--Puerto Rico is a series of islands with a land mass of 3,5000 square miles and a population of 3.6 million people. It's glorious beaches and lush rainforests are the perfect setting for a wedding,bar mitzvah,or growing bananas. Oh. Whoa. I know Puerto Rico

Gooch: Indeed

Ray: You see? With this you can learn anything you need to know for school in a matter of seconds

Henry: Yeah. Wait. You think it's cheating?

Ray: Eh...No,not really

Gooch: It's a gray area

Henry: I guess. Anyway,I really doing this appreciate you for me

Ray: Uh-oh

Gooch: It's the side effects

Henry: What's side effects?

Ray: You see,after you use the H.R.Z.,when you talk,you might mix up your words for a few days

Henry: Well,you could have before that you told me

Gooch: The important thing is that now you're going to do well on your test