Danger Begins Part 2

Charlotte: Okay,George has six times as many dimes as quarters in his piggy bank

Jasper: Oh,yeah! Oh,yeah! I got two responses

Henry: To what?

Jasper: My birthday party invitation. Two guys said they might come

Henry: Who?

Jasper: Sidney Burnbaum and Oliver Pook

Charlotte: Ugh

Henry: Those guys eat bugs

Jasper: So? They're people. When'd you get a new phone?

Henry: Oh,uh,mine broke,so--what are you doing?

Jasper: You've got to get this new app

Henry: Wait. What app?

Charlotte: Hey,you never told us what you do at your new job

Henry: Oh,right,right

Charlotte: What do you do?

Henry: I--

Jasper: App installed

Henry: oh,great,the app. Tell me about the app

Jasper: It plays a billion sound effects,like school bell--

[bell rings]

Jasper: Cat choking on a hairball--

[choking sound]

Jasper: Ice cream truck--

Charlotte: You have the brain of a hamster

Jasper: I wish

Henry: Give me my phone

Jasper: Hey,did you guys hear what Captain Man did yesterday?

Charlotte: Oh,yeah,the Jandy Bridge

Henry: And so if you divide 9x by the square root--

Jasper: They say he pulled seven people out of the river and saved their lives

Charlotte: Yeah,and he has a new sidekick. There's a story about it on my news feed

Henry: Hey,let's talk about your birthday party

Jasper & Charlotte: Shhhh!

Charlotte: Here. "For the first time ever,Captain Man was not working alone"

Henry: Whoa. How'd that break?

Charlotte: "According to witnesses on the scene,Captain Man was heard calling his new sidekick 'Kid Danger'"

[glass shatters]

Charlotte: You just slapped my phone right out of my hand

Henry: Yeah,sorry. Sorry. I'm just--I'm worried. You and I gotta study,and I'm worried about Jasper's party,and there's--I don't know. I just--

[beeping]

Captain Man's voice: "A triple flashing light means emergency like,'major stitch going down so get here fast"

Henry: Uh,why don't you guys go to the zoo?

Charlotte: Why?

Jasper: You know I got banned from the zoo

[beeping continues]

Charlotte: What is that?

Henry: What,my thumb?

Charlotte: The bracelet that's beeping and flashing on your wrist?

Henry: Uh,it's,uh,a timer

Charlotte: What are you timing?

Henry: Muffins

Charlotte: You're making muffins?

Henry: Birthday muffins

Jasper: Yes!

Henry: Dang. There goes the surprise. I'll just turn this off. I'll just push the button

[muffled beeping continues]

Jasper: It's still on

Henry: No,it's not

Charlotte: We can see it flashing through your pants

Jasper: And we can still hear it beeping

Henry: I know. I,uh...I need a pickle

Charlotte: Wait! I thought we were gonna study

Jasper: Bring me back a pickle

Henry: Ray! Ray,what's wrong?

Ray & Leilani: 'So fun for everyone to sing E Hoomau' 'Maua Kealoha'

Henry: Uh,Ray?

Ray & Leilani: 'Hawaii make you say' 'Hele mei hoohiwahiwa'

Henry: Dude!

Ray: Henry,what goes on?

Henry: You triple beeped me. You said that means there's an emergency

Ray: Oh,right,sorry. I was just getting a ukulele lesson from Leilani. Take a break. Mmm. Yeah

Henry: So what's up?

Ray: We have a situation. And by we I mean our city,all of Swellview. Check this out

Henry: The Toddler?

Ray: He's the one that destroyed the Jandy Bridge yesterday

Henry: Why?

Ray: To set up phase three of his plan

Henry: What's phase three?

Ray: It's the phase that comes right after phase two but before phase four,if there is a phase four. But if there's no phase four,then phase three would be the final phase

Henry: So what happens in phase three?

Ray: Listen

Henry: Okay

Ray: While you and I were pulling people out of the river,the Toddler's men stole 5,000 packages of diapers. Can you guess why?

Henry: Um--

Ray: To bombard the diapers with radioactive zenite particles

Henry: I would not have guessed that

Ray: You want to see what happens when a baby pees into a diaper that's been bombarded with radioactive zenite particles?

Henry: No

Ray: Watch this

Henry: Why does he ask me?

[beeping]

The Toddler: (on computer) What's taking so long?

-(on computer) Well,he hasn't peed yet

The Toddler: (on computer) Well,give him some more apple juice

-(on computer) Wait,wait. He--I think he's peeing

[crying]

The Toddler: (on computer) Goody. Here comes the fun

[growling]

[evil laughter]

Henry: Oh,my gosh

Ray: Uh-huh

Baby: (on computer) Kill you. Kill everyone

Henry: Monster babies?

Ray: That's right,Henry,unless we stop the Toddler. Are you with me?

Henry: Well,yeah

Ray: Well,good. Meet me here tonight at 7:00 sharp

Henry: Wait,wait,wait. Tonight? No,I--I can't do tonight

Ray: What? What do you mean?

Henry: My--My best friend,Jasper,he's having his birthday party tonight,and--

Ray: Party? (Laughs) Henry,there's a freakish man-toddler out there about to turn all the babies in Swellview into that

Baby: (on computer) I'm fluffy!

Ray: And you're worried about a party?

Henry: But--But Jasper's been my best friend since we were five

Ray: Okay. Okay. It's cool. Uh,you go to Jasper's party. I'll handle The Toddler by myself. Don't worry about it

Henry: Are you sure?

Ray: Yeah,I've battled the Toddler alone before. Almost killed me,but whatever

Henry: Now I feel all bad

Ray: (chuckles) Don't feel bad. I'll save the world. You go have a fun time at Jasper's birthday party. Dance. Drink some fruity punch. Leilani,turn on the hot tub

Leilani: Yay. (Laughs)

Jasper: (over phone) You're supposed to be here

Henry: Okay. Yeah,Jasper. Jasper,I'm on my way

Jasper: (over phone) You got the muffins?

Henry: No. I'm not bringing the muffins

Jasper: (over phone) Wait. Did you hear what happened to Captain Man?

Henry: What about Captain Man?

Jasper: (over phone) He got captured

Henry: What?

Jasper: (over phone) Henry,am I handsome?

Reporter: (on TV) While reports are unclear,we do have confirmation that Captain Man has been captured,and is being held at a secret location

Henry: Captured? Dang it,Ray!

Reporter: (on TV) Next,why squirrels love nuts

Jasper: (over phone) Henry? Henry?

Henry: Uh,I can't talk. I'm *****-

'This is the moment that changes it all' 'This is the moment' 'This is the moment changes it all'

Oliver: You said there'd be ladies

Jasper: They'll be here. Hey,you guys like my shirt? It was a birthday present from my aunt

Oliver: It's okay

Sidney: It would look better if you wore Boinks

Jasper: What are Boinks?

Oliver: Check this. They really firm your trunk

Jasper: Do they?

Sidney: Heck yeah!

Oliver: Slap my gut

Jasper: Ehh--

Oliver: Yeah

Sidney: Me next

Jasper: Wow,firm

Charlotte: Wow

Charlotte: Cool party

Jasper: Where's Henry?

[gasping sounds]

The Toddler: Nyah,nyah,nyah,nyah,nyah,nyah

Ray/Captain Man: Come on,Toddler. Let me out of this thing before I puke

The Toddler: No. This is my playroom,my toys,my rules

Ray/Captain Man: Your sick under-developed maniac. Ow! Geez,man

The Toddler: Oh,I thought the famous Captain Man couldn't be injured

-He can't,but he does feel pain

The Toddler: You're not allowed to talk unless you raise your hand and I call on you! You stupid head

[electronic sputtering]

The Toddler: That's what you get

Ray/Captain Man: Come on,Toddler. Your insane plan won't work

[cell phone rings]

The Toddler: A lot you know

Henry/Kid Danger: What?

Jasper: You're late

Henry/Kid Danger: Well,sorry,but I'm kind of in the middle of something

Jasper: Something more important than my birthday party?

Henry/Kid Danger: Uh--

The Toddler: 48 hours from now every baby in Swellview will be a hideous monster

Henry/Kid Danger: Yeah,this is pretty important

Jasper: But you promised me that--

Charlotte: Henry,will you get your butt to the party? 'Cause so far it's just me,Jasper,Melody,and two dorks that keep slapping each other's Boinks

[both laughing]

Henry/Kid Danger: I gotta go

Charlotte: Henry

Ray/Captain Man: Come on,Toddler. Let me down from this thing. (Groans) It's squeezing me in bad ways

The Toddler: No! And now,Captain Man,I have thousands of babies to monsterize. And to make sure that you don't try to stop me,I will now destroy you

Ray/Captain Man: You idiot. I can't be destroyed

The Toddler: I know that! But you can be dropped...

[screams]

The Toddler: ...Into my bottomless ball pit

Ray/Captain Man: Tod--Tod--Todd--

The Toddler: Toddler? Playtime is over,Captain Man

[evil laughter]

[ice cream truck song plays]

The Toddler: Wait. Listen. (Gasps) It's the ice cream man. Yay! Woo-hoo! I'll destroy you in a minute. Come on,fellas,ice cream man. I hope they have mint chocolate chip

Ray/Captain Man: Come on! (Grunts)

Henry/Kid Danger: Captain Man

Ray/Captain Man: Henry!

Henry/Kid Danger: It's Kid Danger. Now quick,how do I get you down from there?

Ray/Captain Man: I don't know. This is the first time I've been trapped in a baby bouncer over a bottomless ball pit. Try that lever

Henry/Kid Danger: Right

The Toddler: There was no ice cream truck. Who tricked me? And who's that boy near my lever?

Ray/Captain Man: That's my sidekick,Kid Danger

The Toddler: I didn't know you had a sidekick. Why don't I have a sidekick? I want a sidekick!

-You have us

The Toddler: Shut up. You're dumb

Ray/Captain Man: Uh,Kid Danger?

Henry/Kid Danger: Yeah?

Ray/Captain Man: Why don't you pull that lever?

Henry/Kid Danger: Oh,right

The Toddler: No!

Ray/Captain Man: Whoa!

The Toddler: Squish the boy. Get him! Get him!

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger,look out!

[sputtering]

-Aaaah!

The Toddler: Oh,my God,he's got my thing that goes sspppfft! Get him! Get him!

Jasper: Where's Henry?

Charlotte: I don't know,but I bet he's having more fun than we are

Oliver: Hello?

Sidney: Hello?

Oliver: Hello?

Ray/Captain Man: Use the truck

-Come here

The Toddler: Hey,I hate you!

Ray/Captain Man: There,you've been kicked

[groans]

Henry/Kid Danger: Cut the bands!

The Toddler: Look at you

Ray/Captain Man: Get him,kid

[grunting]

The Toddler: Give me back my spit pistol

[dance music playing]

[grunts]

The Toddler: Go on,get him! You guys are seriously the worst henchmen ever

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger!

The Toddler: You boys think you're so spiffy. Well,have a look at my bang bottle

Ray/Captain Man: Bang bottle?

The Toddler: That's right,and it's filled with explodey-juice

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger,get out of here

Henry/Kid Danger: I'm not leaving without you

Ray/Captain Man: But that ****** is flashing

The Toddler: No one leaves

[shouts]

[beeps]

The Toddler: Now,we're all gonna go boom together

Henry/Kid Danger: What do we do?

Ray/Captain Man: Push me that way

The Toddler: (in slow motion) No! No! Help me! Get me out! Ugh,these balls smell like feet and pee. Oh,this is it for me. I've been hoisted by my own petard

[both exhale]

Ray/Captain Man: The bang bottle!

Henry/Kid Danger: Oh,man! What do we do with this?

Ray/Captain Man: We give the baby his bottle

Henry/Kid Danger: Oh,good call

Ray/Captain Man: Hey

Henry/Kid Danger: What's up?

Ray/Captain Man: Hurry

Henry/Kid Danger: Oh,right

Ray/Captain Man: Kid Danger!

[rapid beeping]

[The Toddler screams]

Ray/Captain Man: Nice work,Kid Danger. You got skills

Henry/Kid Danger: Thanks,Captain Man

[cell phone beeps]

Henry/Kid Danger: Jasper!

Ray/Captain Man: Oh,yeah,you'd better get to that birthday party

Henry/Kid Danger: Right. Uh,Ray,will you do me a huge favor?

[grunting]

[barking]

Charlotte: They've been doing that for two hours

Jasper: My party's a flop. I'm just gonna go upstairs and sit in my closet with my cat

Ray/Captain Man: Pardon me...My man van broke down out there in the street,so I walked into this house and came down to this basement

Jasper: Holy chunks,you're--You're Captain Man!

Ray/Captain Man: Thank you

Jasper: You're my hero

Ray/Captain Man: Of course

Charlotte: Mine too

Charlotte: Um,I'm Charlotte

Charlotte: Hi,Mr. Cap--Mapton. I mean--(laughs)

Ray/Captain Man: That's enough

Charlotte: I'm so sorry

Henry: And,um,I'm Henry

Ray/Captain Man: Nice to meet you,Henry

Jasper: Hey,Captain Man?

Ray/Captain Man: Yes,a question

Jasper: Can I hit you in the head with a baseball bat?

Henry: Dude

Charlotte: Jasper!

Ray/Captain Man: No,no,it's okay. But remember,kids,never do this to anyone but Captain Man,because regular people could be badly injured

[screams]

Jasper: Wow!

Ray/Captain Man: I wasn't done talking

Charlotte: Did that hurt?

Ray/Captain Man: Yeah,but I'm okay. Well,I should call a tow truck to come pick up my man van

Henry: Or,it's my best friend Jasper's birthday party

Jasper: Oh,oh,yeah,yeah,it is

Charlotte: You can stay and party with us if you wanna

Ray/Captain Man: Will there be soup?

Jasper: I'll open a can

Ray/Captain Man: Then I'd love to stay and party with you guys

[both screaming]

Henry: Uh,Captain Man

Ray/Captain Man: Yes,boy

Henry: Would it be cool if Jasper texted a few friends from school and told them you're here at his party?

Jasper: Yeah,can I?

Ray/Captain Man: Sure,I love being used

Charlotte: Yay

Jasper: Wow,thanks! This is,like,the coolest thing that's ever happened to me

Ray/Captain Man: Are your hands always this sweaty?

Jasper: Yes,sir

Henry: He takes medicine for it

Ray/Captain Man: Well,it's not working

-Hey,Jasper,rockin' party

Jasper: Right?

-I can't believe you got Captain Man to come here

Jasper: Hey,we're buds,right,Captain Man? Aren't we buds?

Ray/Captain Man: We sure are,Billy

Jasper: Uh,that's just how we kid around. We call each other Billy. Back at ya,Billy

Henry: Okay. Okay. Kill the lights

'Happy,happy,happy,happy birthday' 'Happy,happy,happy,happy birthday' 'Everybody wants to wish you' 'A happy birthday'

Jasper: Muffins

Henry: Yeah

Charlotte: Well,make a wish

[all clamoring]

[all cheering]

Girl: Do it!

Henry: Okay. Flip on the lights

Boy: Happy birthday,Jasper

Boy #2: Way to go

Jasper: Hey,where'd Captain Man go?

-Yeah,Where's Captain Man?

Charlotte: He's gone

Jasper: Aw,why'd he leave?

Charlotte: He probably had to go do superhero stuff

Henry: And you did break a bat over his head

Jasper: Yeah

Henry: Hey,if it makes you feel any better,me and Charlotte got you something

Jasper: What?

Charlotte: Look

[gasps]

Jasper: You got me the bucket?

Charlotte: It's a barrel. Will somebody turn on the music?

[dance music playing]

Henry: So you happy with your party?

Jasper: Heck yeah. But for a while there I thought you weren't gonna come

Henry: Come on,man. I'm always gonna be here for you

[beeping noise]

Henry: I gotta go

Charlotte: Birthday boy!

[all cheering]

[beeping continues]

The End

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