When I open my eyes, I feel very weak. What happened? Where am I? Why does my mouth taste so bitter?
“Did I fall asleep?” I ask without fear.
I'm lying down. I want to sit up. The room is…
“It’s good that you finally woke up.” Christian approaches me.
Where did he come from? Was he in the bathroom?
“Why am I at your house?” I want to find out.
He smiles, sits down next to me, and the fabric of his suit is bright. Blue plaid!
“I wanted to bring you here to rest. How are you feeling?”
I yawn.
“I feel weak. I feel drained!”
“Do you want to eat something? I ordered them to prepare some chicken soup for you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. What's more, let's eat together. How does that sound?”
I like his proposal.
Two plates of food strategically placed so that he and I can look at each other while we eat.
“Did I really look that bad?” I'm not afraid to ask him.
“You had a temperature and you fell asleep on the way here.”
“What did the doctor say? The truth is, I don't remember very well.”
I pick up a carrot with my spoon and put it in my mouth.
“You probably had the beginnings of a cold or a sign of fatigue.”
I kept thinking about his words.
“I think it's a cold. I don’t have the flu yet, though.”
He nodded. He brought the spoon to his mouth and chewed.
“I think you’re right about the cold. It rained suddenly yesterday and I saw you playing with your classmate.”
His words surprised me. He had seen us?
“You saw us?”
“Once it started raining I asked Gilberto to come back so he could take you, and when I got back, I saw you playing in the rain with Dario. You looked so happy!” He smiles slightly as he finishes speaking.
“We weren't expecting it to rain, but it was awesome. So much so that now, I'm sick from having fun in the rain.”
He nods. We eat a little. I savor the meat and pour some chili on my plate to give it more flavor.
“Do you like the soup?” He asks.
“It's very good. Thank you very much for taking care of me and taking me to the doctor!”
“I had to carry you in order to get you to the doctor; I felt like you were going to pass out.”
Then I remembered. Those details! We were walking down the main hallway and halfway there I stopped, my strength had vanished. Christian came up to me, picked me up without any difficulty, and carried me in his arms as if I were a baby. Everyone in the office saw the scene!
“I'm sorry! I should have…”
“Don’t worry! You're not very heavy anyway.”
“Of course. But, I feel bad thinking that you carried me.”
“Why do you feel bad? You were sick, it's normal for me to act that way. I was worried!”
His words made me feel very good. I can't help but smile! I keep eating, I'm almost done.
“Thank you for your kindness!”
He nods.
“It's not the first time I've carried you.”
His words made me stare at him.
“It's true, when I got drunk at the wedding.”
He finishes chewing.
“Are you feeling better?” He asks.
“Yes, I am fine now.”
He nods and continues to eat.
“Christian.”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
Suddenly, my need was to find out about his feelings. I remembered the conversation I had with my friends yesterday.
“Of course.”
“What do you think about me?”
My question seemed to make him think. He drank some lemonade.
“I think you're a very helpful and strong-willed young man.”
“Strong-willed?”
“Yes. You're the first secretary I've had that doesn't seem afraid to disagree with me.”
“You say that because of the first week.”
“Exactly. Plus, you’re always eating candy! How can you consume so much sugar during the day?”
His question makes me smile.
“My grandma used to tell me that as long as I drink water, I can eat all the candy I want.”
“Really?”
“Yes. She was very kind.”
“Was?”
“Yes, I haven’t seen her in years.”
“She…?”
“She lives in the village. We moved to the city seven years ago.”
He seemed surprised. I finished eating, my plate was empty.
“You…?”
“What do you feel when you’re with me?” I wanted to resume the conversation. I was direct.
His eyes focused on me. I concentrated on trying not to get lost in the brightness of his pupils.
“As I've told you before, your company makes me feel calm. When I'm with you I feel at peace and that makes me happy. You make me happy!”
He moved his eyebrows and his gesture seemed very tender to me.
“I make you happy?”
He nodded.
“Of course.”
“Can I touch your hands?”
“Do you want to play with my veins?”
He smiles.
“No. I want to find out something else.”
“What do you want to find out?”
“I want to find out what I feel for you and define it.”
“Define what you feel?”
“Yes. Because sometimes, when I'm with you my heart races.”
He extended his hands towards me. The instant I was able to touch him, I loved his warmth. His palms were completely surrendered to mine and I wasn’t ashamed to touch him like that.
“Is your heart racing yet?” he asks.
“No. But I like this.”
He seemed thoughtful.
“Do you want to feel your heart race?”
“Yes, I would like that.”
He gets up from the chair and comes closer to me. I see him walk around the table and my thoughts start to have many ideas of what might happen. He stops beside me, takes off his tie.
“I'm going to blindfold you for a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay.”
He uses his tie to blindfold me. Everything turns dark and I feel his fingers brush my neck.
“Give me your hand.”
I obey. I feel his warmth again. We are walking. I don’t know where he is taking me. He orders me to sit down. Is it the bed? My heartbeat starts to pound. His hands guide my hands and suddenly, I feel like I'm touching his face.
“Touch me. Wherever you want. Touch me!” He utters.
His cheekbones are soft, on his chin I caress his stubble, he has a full beard and on his lips, I try to imagine his lips talking.
“Your lips are soft.”
“You like them?”
“Yes.”
His hands guide me to his neck. He lets go of me, I feel his shoulders, the fabric of his shirt and when I reach the center, I feel his bare skin. His chest! Hard and athletic it feels, I place my hand on the area of his heart, my heartbeat increases and I like this.
“What do you feel now?” I feel his mouth very close to my ear.
I swallow, his voice makes me tremble.
“I'm nervous.”
“I make you nervous?”
“Yes.”
“And I haven’t even started yet.”
I feel the edge of his nose brush against my cheek. It descends. His breath excites me. My hands are still on his chest. He pushes me against the bed. I feel his body on mine. What’s going to happen? My heart is melting!
His hand takes my neck, his breath thunders through my pores and I, I am completely nervous. It’s as if he is sniffing every part of me.
“What do you feel, Juls?” he utters in my ear.
“My heart is melting.”
“Can I kiss you? You have no idea all the thoughts I have when I see you sucking on a lollipop. I crave your mouth!”
“I…”
I imagine his lips approaching mine. Is this okay? With all the speed of my soul, I intervene and prefer to cover my mouth with my hands. Why?
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