Episode 19

The apprehension of Caled took several weeks, throughout which he lost everything he had, attending to lawsuits and hiring lawyers suits that, of course, he didn't stand a chance of winning. I made certain of that.

Thereafter, I plunged him into prison, although his creditors gambling debts, mind you took their pound of flesh first.

During the days that Caled's process unfolded, Noah was absent from the company. On the first day, I figured he wanted to stay with our kids since they hadn't gone to school either, but the next day, neither he showed up nor did they at school. Noah wasn't at the company either.

I couldn't stand it anymore and went to their estate. But, once there, I didn't dare to knock. I retreated and waited for hours upon hours, yet I never caught sight of any of them leaving or entering.

And if they had left? The mere thought shook me to the core had I lost them? How would I see them now? Even if it was from a distance, finding solace in their proximity comforted me. But had they fled to escape me?

Desperate, I started hunting for clues like a madman. No one had a clue, not even Draco had any records of them boarding a commercial flight. But the Montenegro family had their own planes where could they have gone?

At the peak of my despair, I saw them return. They were here Noah and my children, right there before me. The joy that surged through me was unparalleled; never had I felt anything like it.

Nearly a month has passed since then, and although I've tried to approach Noah, despite my heartfelt apologies and expressions of my desire to make amends, wishing only for a chance to reconcile and approach in peace, my attempts have been in vain. His guard is mounted higher than ever; his anger and loathing far more tangible, as though it's not just me he despises, but my very presence and existence.

I am suffering, but I do not mind; whatever agony I endure, he endured tenfold more, and he continues to suffer. I can see it, I feel it, and that only amplifies my pain especially since I see how he has grown close to that beta. How the beta looks at him it's undeniable. Is Noah aware? Is he falling in love with him too? Even if I refuse to believe it, let alone accept it, I can't alter the reality that while Noah pushes me away and rejects me, he allows this other person all the closeness and interaction that he denies me.

Today marks an important day; after more than a week, I've finally managed to interact with my children.

Upon our arrival, they approached us.

Zoe: Good morning, Mr. Daniel.

"Good morning, princess!" and without pausing to gauge my son's reaction, I bent down to hug her, and she embraced me in return, bestowing a kiss on me.

It was the purest sentiment of joy I've ever experienced in my life, one I wish to relive forever. Joe remained very serious but didn't push her away as was his habit. On the contrary, he spoke to me, expressing a wish to know my name.

"Arvan, my name is Arvan Daniel" I had said it was better they didn't know my name, but if my son wished to know, of course, I wouldn't lie to him.

Joe: Papa is better off without you I believed I had misheard him.

"What did you say? Joe, do you know who I am?" I tried to touch him, but he recoiled.

After greeting me, Zoe went off to play with Ares. Does she also know who I am?

Joe: Papa doesn't want you, and neither do I. Go away! I wasn't mistaken; Joe knew who I was from the very beginning.

"Son, I..."

Joe: You're bad! Papa is sad because of you. He was right; it was all my fault.

"I'm sorry, my son. I want to make it right. Please don't hate me. I can make Papa and Zoe and you happy."

Joe: Liar! I don't want you! it hurts; this is exceedingly painful. He hates me, and I deserve it.

"Joe, please..."

"Is there a problem here? Joe, is this gentleman bothering you?" The voice belonged to their teacher, the rage in Joe's eyes, I'd seen it in someone else it was the same expression Noah had. They're not going to forgive me. I will never be forgiven.

Joe: No. He walked away. It's not that my children weren't aware of me; it's that they reject me, they hate me for having hurt their father. Surely, when Zoe finds out, she will hate me too.

I know what I must do, but my fear mounts daily. Noah and that beta are very close. I'm going to lose him, lose them all!

The journey seemed to drag on forever, and I didn't even realize when I had reached the Daniel's group headquarters.

Going straight to his office was the first thing I did. Was Noah smiling? He never graced me with such an expression, his demeanor always morphing into the one he just adopted, noticing my presence. And that man stood up from his chair, positioning himself between us. Containing my urge to destroy him for having the intimacy with Noah that I lack is a challenge, but I accept it. With me, Noah will not be happy not if I continue on like this. To prove myself worthy of Noah and my children, I must start anew, even at the risk of losing everything in the process.

Noah: Is there something you need, Mr. Daniel's? he never calls me by my name, always my last name. I've never heard my first name come from his lips; no matter what, he keeps that wall up, preventing me from moving forward.

"Forgive me, Noah. I know no matter how often I say it, it won't be enough." his expression grows even more furious,

"Forgive all three of us. I realize that whatever suffering I encounter from your rejection, you've all suffered twice as much, especially you..." his expression is one of bewilderment; he doesn't realize I know about our children. And I'm not going to tell him.

"But Noah, I love you, now more than ever. If only..." I have no regrets about our children, they're my most valuable treasures now, but perhaps our story could have unfolded differently.

"I'd give anything to erase all pain, my life if it would suffice, but it isn't..."

Noah: Just go. You're hurting me; leave me be. I didn't intend to make him cry, I don't wish to hurt him anymore; it hurts me more than anything else.

"I will, Noah. I came here to give you your freedom." he looked at me, puzzled, and although my chest ached and my heart panged with such ferocity begging me not to repeat my next words, I did it nonetheless.

"I'll remove my mark; you'll be free, Noah."

Noah: Really? though his smile wounded me, because it signified happiness at being freed from me, deep down I felt joy. I made him smile for the first time, and that gave me the strength to follow through with this harrowing decision. If my omega is happy, no matter what hell I must endure.

"Yes, Noah. May I come closer?" he nodded, his hands trembling as he pushed his hair aside to expose the mark. The other man's gaze was locked on us I didn't care. Noah was nervous, no, terrified. The last time I was this close, I hurt him so badly...

"It's okay. I promise I won't ever hurt you again." he tensed. We were so close I could feel his breath. Knowing he's scared of me inflicts pain deep into my soul, and the thought that this might be my only chance to be this near him kills me. But Noah and my children come first.

I removed my mark from Noah; he is now free. I feel my alpha mourn the pain of letting him go, unable to stop my own tears from betraying me. The agony filling my chest is so overwhelming I can scarcely breathe.

Noah: Thank you! he's crying, too, but our tears spring from different wells. I leave him a kiss on the forehead.

"Be happy, Noah. And if you can, one day, please forgive me. Goodbye, my sweet and beautiful boy." as I leave that place, the pain welling inside me is indescribable. I had never imagined that love and release could hurt as much as if being torn apart from one's soul, as if with each increment of distance, life itself was slipping away.

Is this what Noah felt when I rejected him? How did he endure it? I feel as though I can't. I need him; I need him so desperately.

If there is such a thing as fate, and I might be forgiven, please, show me the way back to him. How can I win over Noah? I don't want to lose him. If I'm not meant to be with him and our children, I wish for nothing but death.

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