Episode 4
Katie Cat (Author)
Hey lovelies
Katie Cat (Author)
Today will be longer to make up for last time
Katie Cat (Author)
let's get started
His alarm rings angrily at him and Jungkook groans. He reaches over to tap his phone and has half a mind to cancel on Namjoon. But it's Namjoon. He wills himself to get up. He lets out another sigh and begins to look for the boxes that hold his clothes. For the last couple days he's been wearing two sets of clothes alternatively because he didn't want to start unpacking. That meant doing laundry everyday. Which in hindsight was stupid and wasteful.
Jungkook glances at the labels and pushes away the other boxes until he finds his clothes. He picks out a black muscle tee, a black jersey and track pants. He splashes his face with water and after a quick tooth brushing session, he's out of the door. Yoongi and Namjoon don't live too far off. It's definitely within walking distance and Jungkook sets off in a light jog.
He must look silly with a face mask on and a bucket hat but most people ignore him. It’s only the ajummas and ahjusshis with their backpacks and trekking poles ready for hiking the mountains and not anyone who’d immediately recognize an ex-idol. Namjoon stands outside their apartment complex facing away from Jungkook.
But he can tell it's Namjoon from a mile away. He stands awkwardly even after all these years, almost like he doesn't know what to do with his limbs, but he's dressed fashionably. A long khaki coloured coat and jeans with a pair of boots and a cute beanie. He's carrying a small camera and Jungkook's heart leaps for joy.
He remembers gifting that camera years ago, a Nikon D3500, when Namjoon wanted to move into a little more professional photography. Namjoon had been immensely pleased with the gift and somehow refused to upgrade himself from it. Jungkook was surprised it wasn't broken, knowing his hyung's general tendency to destroy anything and everything by accident. But obviously this gift was well cared for, snuggly kept in a small camera bag around Namjoon's torso.
He wants so much to hold his hand and walk but that's not going to happen so he slows down his pace letting himself enjoy the view that is Kim Namjoon. But Namjoon turns around and spots him, and even though his face is covered by a cute Ryan mask, Jungkook can tell he's smiling. His eyes are crinkled and Jungkook is sure Namjoon's dimples are on full display.
He reaches out to hug him and Jungkook's heart leaps, even after all this time he can't stop himself from feeling that. He buries his face in Namjoon's neck, inhaling the sweet fabric softener smell he loves and something that's just Namjoon. He smells like a muted vanilla and Jungkook feels intoxicated. He holds on until it's awkward and he lets go reluctantly.
Namjoon pulls at one his earrings.
Kim Namjoon
Why are you so cute?" He asks in a giggly voice.
Jungkook blushes, he can feel his face heat up. He slaps Namjoon's hand away.
Jeon Jungkook
Ah stop it hyung! 😳
Kim Namjoon
"I was thinking we could go walk over there? I just want to take some pictures."
He lifts his camera bag. Jungkook nods tucking his hands into his pockets. They walk silently, Namjoon breaks it by asking him.
Kim Namjoon
How's the apartment? Everything good?
Jeon Jungkook
"Yeah... I haven't pulled anything out yet... It's hard... you know, and lonely."
Jungkook doesn't look at him, he stares at his shoes as he walks.
Namjoon puts an arm over his shoulder, pulling Jungkook closer.
Kim Namjoon
"I know what you mean... that's why I stayed with hyung... even if half the time he's not in... It's nice to have someone... but if you want, I can maybe stay over?"
As much as Jungkook would love that, he'd also hate it when Namjoon inevitably had to go and do whatever he would do
Jeon Jungkook
"No that's okay Hyung. I don't want to trouble you..."
Kim Namjoon
"It's not a problem... maybe I can help you unpack?"
Jungkook nods. He feels sad when Namjoon moves his hand to take his camera out and take a picture of a bird on a nearby tree. Jungkook doesn't even spot it, and by the time Namjoon has put his batteries into the camera, the bird has taken flight, leaving him in a frustrated sigh. Jungkook can't help but chuckle. It's endearing to watch Namjoon struggle and Jungkook takes the camera out of his hands and quietly begins to set it up with practiced ease. Namjoon is embarrassed, Jungkook can tell.
Jeon Jungkook
"Here you go hyung. All set."
Kim Namjoon
"Thank you Jungkook-ah, what would Hyung do without you?"
They walk closer to the Han River, and Namjoon talks about a book he's been engrossed in. Jungkook loves when Namjoon talks about something he loves, he gets excited almost as if he can't contain himself and yet speaks in a clear coherent voice of calm. He's currently explaining the plot of a thriller he's been reading ; and how Namjoon suspects the detective is actually the serial killer.
Kim Namjoon
"You're quiet... is something bothering you?" 😟
Jeon Jungkook
"I'm always quiet, hyung."
Kim Namjoon
"Yeah... but..."
They've lived together for so long that any one of them could instinctively tell. It was hard to hide behind fake smiles and facades.
Jeon Jungkook
Just worried about the future...
Kim Namjoon
Yeah.. me too... I don't even know about South Africa...
Jeon Jungkook
You don't want to go? 😦
Kim Namjoon
"No... I do... it will be a great experience. I just feel weird going alone, I don't feel like I deserve it..."
Jungkook knows what he means, the other members of the ambassador panel were people who had foundations, won the Nobel Peace Prize, one had even survived a war after being shot. Namjoon's feeling of inadequacy is warranted.
Jeon Jungkook
But hyung they selected you because they felt like you have done something. We've done some projects, and ARMY have done many projects too... that's all because of what you started."
Kim Namjoon
Not me... us, BTS.
Jeon Jungkook
Yeah... you're a part of that Hyung. Without you there would be no BTS."
Namjoon doesn't answer, preferring to use silence to answer Jungkook.
Kim Namjoon
Do you want to come with me?"
Jungkook stops walking and looks at Namjoon.
Kim Namjoon
"The invitation was open to all of us... I'm the only one who took it up."
Jungkook's eyes widen in fear.
Kim Namjoon
"I mean you don't have to... You can think about it... or you don't have to..."
Jeon Jungkook
"No. I want to come."
Namjoon smiles but he stops himself.
Kim Namjoon
"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you into it."
Jeon Jungkook
"Hyung, I want to."
Kim Namjoon
"Thanks Kook."
A part of Jungkook wonders if this is a good idea. But it's Namjoon, he wants to go with him.
Kim Namjoon
"So... what's been bothering you other than the future thing?"
Namjoon asks, voice in a much lower octave than usual.
Katie Cat (Author)
Aghhhhh.... Namjoon deep voice.. I can almost hear it
Kim Namjoon
"You don't have to tell me or anything... I just remember you used to bottle everything up and you felt much better after talking to me or one of us... "
Jeon Jungkook
I didn't want to go home because I thought my mum would ask about settling down."
He says the words settling down with his fingers crooked to represent commas.
Kim Namjoon
"Ah... same here. My mum has been setting me up on dates." 😅
Kim Namjoon
I don't know if it's me or them... but nothing has even looked like it would work out... I feel like being an idol stopped us from having real experiences... You know... I'm grateful... I'm so fcking grateful that I get to do something I love and perform in front of so many people. But everyone I've met wants RM and I'm just Namjoon. Sorry I'm probably...
Jeon Jungkook
"No. I understand you completely."
Kim Namjoon
"I didn't even want to tell you guys because every time it went disastrously." 😣
Jeon Jungkook
"What happened?"
Kim Namjoon
"The first one I spilt our coffee all over the table and it sort of dripped on to her dress and she yelled at me before storming off. I think it was an expensive outfit... to be fair."
Jeon Jungkook
That's ridiculous hyung. It's just coffee!
Kim Namjoon
"I mean I understand, you don't want your first date to be that. I got Kyungmin to help me buy that exact same dress."
Kim Namjoon
"She never responded. And that was that. My sister said I was stupid to buy her the dress."
Namjoon smiles at that.
Jungkook can imagine Kyungmin, small as she was in stature, lecturing her brother on the do's and don'ts of dating.
Kim Namjoon
The other one just wanted to get another idol's phone number and got mad at me when I didn't give it. I didn't even have the number and I don't even know him that well! The last one just wanted to date RM, and not me... she said I was boring..."
Jeon Jungkook
Hyung you're not boring
Kim Namjoon
I know. I know that... but..." Namjoon smiles sadly."I think, no I'm scared I'll end up alone... and there's nothing wrong with being single... but you know I want someone... who I can talk to, someone to cuddle with and share pictures and stories of how my day went."
Jungkook can't help but bring up that GIF he's seen; the one scene from the Hunger Games movie where the lead actress (he can't remember her name) volunteers for her sister. Jungkook feels like that in his heart but he stays silent.
Kim Namjoon
"I had you guys before but now..."
Jeon Jungkook
You'll always have us, hyung.
He smiles slowly, whispering a thank you but Jungkook can hear the unspoken thoughts in Namjoon's head."
Kim Namjoon
"It's not the same." 😞
Jungkook wants so much to be that person for his hyung. To hold him and kiss his forehead, maybe cook him a nice meal and shower him in kisses. Or just even to hold his hand.
Kim Namjoon
"What about you?
Namjoon asks, glancing straight into Jungkook's eyes.
Lie. Lie. Lie . His thoughts hum over a repetitive pattern
Jeon Jungkook
"I haven't really got into dating... but my mum has been dropping hints... she hasn't gotten to setting up dates yet..."
Jeon Jungkook
I don't think I'll be bringing a boy home anytime soon anyway."
Namjoon pauses for a second.
Jungkook stops walking with a questioning look on his face
Namjoon looks uncomfortable and confused.
Katie Cat (Author)
that's it for today
Katie Cat (Author)
hope you guys enjoyed it
Katie Cat (Author)
like, comment, subscribe
Katie Cat (Author)
bye lovelies💜💜
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