Episode 3
Katie Cat (Author)
Hey lovelies
Katie Cat (Author)
lets get started
He's not fine. He broke down about a week ago in his studio and Taehyung was there. He'd snuck in and held him while he cried. Bangtan had been his family for years and even though in his head, disbanding made complete sense, his heart ached and feared for the unknown future.
When he had cried his tears away, Taehyung had waited patiently.
Kim Taehyung
You wanna talk about it?
Jungkook wanted to shake his head and say no but his words broke another dam of tears. He said one word. Namjoon. It was enough. They never spoke about it again. Jungkook was good at hiding. He hid for sixteen years right? What is one more day? One more week? One more month?
Of course, a lot of his fans saw. They saw how he looked at him all starry eyed as if Namjoon had hung the moon in a midnight blue sky. And he did in a sense. Jungkook wouldn't be here today if he hadn't seen Namjoon when he went by the name Rap Monster. He remembers telling his family how he wanted to sign with a company no one knew about. His family wanted him to sign with YG or maybe audition for SM? But Jungkook wanted BigHit.
The Jeons were sceptical but seemed more reassured after speaking with Bang PD. He wonders if the fans knew about the stories he wrote he'd never use their real names of course. But it felt nice to imagine. He was a silly fifteen year old boy. Sometimes he feels like he's still stuck at fifteen, never quite growing up.
How could he possibly tell him? It would hurt if Namjoon hated him. But Jungkook knows better. Namjoon wouldn't hate him for being gay, he'd probably just feel awkward that Jungkook liked him. He didn't want to tell him. Sixteen years of holding a flame for your bandmate doesn't make rejection softer.
In the past, he could always say he was concerned about band dynamics but now he couldn't hide under that story. It's always a series of what ifs. What if Namjoon really likes him (best case scenario) or Namjoon rejects him but still maintains the same level of friendship (most likely scenario) or flat out cuts him out of his life (worst case scenario).
He cleans the plastic box of takeout, setting it aside to return it to the restaurant and saving the leftovers in a tupperware container to place in his empty refrigerator that only has cartons of banana milk. He needs to do grocery shopping. He ignores the still-unopened boxes of his stuff and strips into his boxers before jumping into bed. He groans forgetting to brush his teeth and slipping out of his bed covers. His phone sounds again and he glances to see Namjoon messaging on their KakaoTalk group chat.
It's Namjoon messaging to ask if anyone is free tomorrow morning for a walk. Jin replies almost instantly saying he won't be able to and Hoseok follows with something about work. The group chat gets activated instantly and Jungkook's phone vibrates annoyingly.
He gets a separate text from Taehyung.
Kim Taehyung
TALK TO HIM .
He sighs glancing at the mirror. Toothpaste slightly dripping from his lips. He looks good even though he's tired and emotional. He's worked hard at looking good. But Namjoon's not the kind of person who'd be bothered about looks. Sure looking good might catch his attention but keeping it? That was where Jungkook struggled. Namjoon was way out of his league. He spits out the remaining toothpaste and rinses his mouth hastily wiping his hands before typing out a response he might regret.
Jeon Jungkook
I'll go with you, hyung.
Namjoon sends a thanks with a Koya emoji blowing kisses
Taehyung sends a wink on their private chat.
He sighs when Namjoon asks them to meet up at his and Yoongi's shared apartment at 5am. He sets his alarm for 4:30 slowly climbing into bed and attempting to rest before their walk.
Katie Cat (Author)
That's all for today
Katie Cat (Author)
I hope you enjoyed
Katie Cat (Author)
sorry for the short update... I literally don't have time
Katie Cat (Author)
like, comment, subscribe
Katie Cat (Author)
bye lovelies💜💜
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