EP1 WHAT I FEEL

Do you sometimes feel that something is different from your feelings?

That you can't explain.

When you want to say goodbye

But suddenly you feel scared.

Sometimes , we just want no one to love us , because whenever we say goodbye , we find it hard to do that , because our heart is not ready to say goodbye.

No matter how many times we think , and how many times our mind says that it is easy.

But when the hearts speaks , and when we are doing it , we suddenly want to fight , but until then we really need to say

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘉𝘺𝘦.

How much i feel every time i speak , that it becomes more beautiful if you use your imagination at the same time you can see the color and beauty.

I hope you like it

My name is Elvira name in Darkness

I'm 18 years old.

my height is 5'1

My life started with being a baby where silence became life, where everyone around me was happy to see me, just like my parents how they feel seeing me in this world.

I'm just a baby who has a peaceful life, that's how much I want now that I'm grown up to have a peaceful life like I was born into this world.

no one will not like the love and support of a parent to his child. Because all children want to be loved forever by a parent.

maybe I experienced love when I was a baby, but now that I'm older I feel like I'm a grown-up when I made a mistake in living in this world.

maybe it's wrong for me to think like this, but no matter what every person feels, that's the right thing, why because someone important to them makes them feel what they're thinking. we get hurt because we love the person who hurts us.

What our heart feels that our mouth says is never wrong, because that's what we feel, that's what the people we love make us feel.

We make mistakes so we can learn to correct our mistakes, because if we know it's wrong why would we do it. Because while we are young we make mistakes, because as we grow up we gradually learn from life.

Our heart Desire for nothing but a quiet life and peace, that's why it's so hard to reach like ourselves that we think we accept our humanity, as long as you don't accept yourself you will never reach the freedom you seek.

We should enjoy life because in our life we ​​cannot say how long we will have.

maybe my life is always here and it will only end if I leave the world.

This the first i wrote my feelings in my paper ,

just like what i feel someone listen to my

problem.

I just sit in the corner in my room , while listen the song just like my life is " Like A Film " ,

The first i don't know how to start to show my feelings , but immediately just i wrote my heart feel .

while i wrote my problem suddenly my tears goes down in my paper.

thinking why i need suffer?! ( sigh)

have you ever feel.... what i'm feel?

I don't know why , But i know that every time i write

my feelings on paper i feel better.

The paper and pen that i always have whenever i have a problem , they lighten my feelings , and

because of that i feel someone listen to me.

e'm ok.... These past few days , I've been in a lot of pain , sick , and the slightest movement makes me immediately tired and out of breath , it's natural for me because i have asthma.

I don't know why i'm saying all this , but that's what my mind is saying that i have to do this i'm writing as if one day something will happen to me , that might make me lose more time to do these things.

with each passing day , little by little (sigh)

i'm getting tired , i'm so tired that i feel like i want to rest .

Why i need to do this these thing ?

have you ever might think of that,

i know! it's kinda weird? or just this is a story..

ugh....(sigh) maybe the life i spent in this world is enough to get tired of this early.

I want to do so many things and one of them is to be happy all the days of my life.

and maybe when that's done i can maybe rest.

Have you experienced like you... just want a rest , because you are too much tired of this life?

It's just sad that they can't ask questions about what' happening to you! ... they just judge you like they don't know what you're going through.

"Many Times you wanted to give up but you though that if you give up , will all the pain and hardship that you are going through disappear.

It's not that instead if giving up , you fought , because while you were fighting , you didn't notice that your hard work is ending , all sadness is replaced with happiness.

because of giving up , we will not get anything , but for what we are fighting for , we will get a lot.

so choose to fight , rather than surrender."

every time i wanted to surrender , this is my mind always say to me.

But why ?.... why i'm still sad ?

i'm still in the pain..

(sigh) i'm not afraid at anything but every time i look my mom i have so many reason to not give up , but every time everyone feels me that i'm big mistake in their life.....ugh i just wanna to give up.

Why?.... why i need suffer .... like this!!!

Elvira my name means darkness.

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