Radit was still lost in thought, sitting in his car parked in the basement of Bulan's apartment complex, an hour after leaving her unit.
His mind was in complete turmoil. Radit felt immense guilt toward Bulan, yet he couldn't simply abandon Mentari and marry Bulan.
What would become of the relationship between their two families, who had been so close, if he did that?
What should he do now? Did he even deserve to continue living normally like before that fateful night? Did he deserve happiness after shattering Bulan's life?
No, of course not. It was now impossible for him to even smile; Radit felt he had lost the right to do so.
How could he smile when there was someone sobbing bitterly over the ruin of their life because of him?
Radit sighed deeply before starting his car and driving home, as it was getting quite late.*
"Hey, why are you home so late?" Mentari asked as Radit entered their bedroom.
"Yeah Ta, the office was swamped. Just give me a moment, I need a shower," he replied, not waiting for further questions before he vanished into the bathroom to freshen up and change clothes.
Thirty minutes passed, but Radit seemed reluctant to leave the bathroom, prompting Tari to knock on the door to check on her husband.
Knock knock knock...
"Are you okay in there? Why are you taking so long?" Tari called from the outside.
However, the only response was the door opening to reveal Radit's refreshed face, his hair still damp, and a towel wrapped around his waist, presenting an appearance that provoked Tari to pounce on her husband.
Radit's eyes widened as Tari swiftly captured his lips and engaged in a breathless kiss. For a moment, Radit was swept away by his wife's advances, but then the vision of Bulan halted his response to the fervent kiss.
"What's wrong, Mas? Why did you stop?" Tari asked, her confusion apparent when Radit pulled his face away and ceased their passionate exchange.
Mentari stared, dumbfounded at Radit. This was the first time he had ever halted their intimate advances, even when they were only just beginning, and now Radit had put an abrupt end to it all.
"Sorry Ta, I'm tired. Let's just go to sleep," Radit said, quickly moving into the walk-in closet, leaving Tari in her confusion.
*
Tari watched Radit's sturdy back as he slept, turned away from his wife without a single shift, even as hours passed, and it reached 2 a.m., with sleep still eluding her.
Finally, she decided to get out of bed and walk over to the balcony of their bedroom.
Her heart was troubled and anxious because of Radit's sudden change in behavior.
Tari's movements were certainly noticed by Radit, for he wasn't truly asleep.
He was only pretending, trying to avoid Tari to keep from hurting her with continuous rejections.
But he found himself unable to do so, haunted by the image of Bulan's distraught face following his every move.
Tari could no longer deny that Radit was becoming slightly cold toward her since she had decided to go on a week-long vacation, against his wishes.
Now, Tari was acting like a selfish woman, determined to have her way. Even her mother had repeatedly reminded her to prioritize Radit amidst her busy schedule.
But this only made Tari ever more stubborn, unwilling to be defeated, fearless of the possibility that Radit might leave her one day.
Tari was indeed a successful career woman, which meant she spent most of her time at work, leaving little for Radit. This was further strained by the time spent with her friends, further reducing their time together.
And Mentari simply did not care about this.
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