There were no chances for me to have the light turned off, not to shield my eyes from what was happening, nor to allow him to carry out his plans in the night's darkness.
I was angry at him, way too much. Were all men like this? According to him, carrying out forbidden acts required light, but I wasn't convinced.
"How do you feel when you're handcuffed?" he inquired curiously, lying down beside me and watching me with amusement.
"Do you want to try?"
"I asked first, my dear," I retorted with a glance filled with deep loathing, which he completely ignored.
"I feel vulnerable, and it makes me anxious, not knowing what you might do to me."
"Do you think it'd be easier to have your hands free and be forced to keep them still?"
"I don't think so because I would have thrown your toy far away."
"Exactly, it's easier to be tied up."
"It's easier to sleep without you sneaking in at night."
"I bet it is. Maybe I'll just stay here with you to avoid coming later."
"No, I need peace, and you make me nervous."
"So, will you behave?"
"What does behaving mean to you?"
"Keep your hands still, just trust that I won't hurt you."
I couldn't trust him as much as I wanted to. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but it's not easy to entrust my body to someone behind a mask.
Though he was right about immobility. It was easier for both of us.
"Do you like the clothes I left for you today?"
"I prefer them because they cover more."
"Would you take them off if I asked?"
"No."
"Let's see if I can change your mind, but first, for safety, I need your hands."
He cuffed me again, but this time he did something different. He removed his upper garment, exposing a tattoo that made him look even more aggressive or wild.
It was a wolf with a full-moon landscape, dominating much of his arm. His muscles were large and strong, and he had overly defined abs that seemed unreal. How much did this man exercise daily?
I dared not say anything and just prayed he wouldn't remove his pants.
"Now that I see it's not cold, I will take these blankets off you."
I didn't know whether it was better for him to talk or remain silent. He had a nice voice, but everything he said seemed perverse to my innocent ears.
Slowly, he uncovered me and lay down beside me again.
"Relax; nothing bad will happen, and by the end of the night, you will still be untouched."
"That doesn't reassure me."
"Try something. Close your eyes and tilt your head."
He placed a blindfold on me, which I assumed was black or very dark. It was thick because I couldn't see any light through it.
"If you can't see and can't move, you should be able to relax more; trust me."
"You make me too nervous."
"Spread your legs, dear Liz," he chuckled. "Come on, don't make that face; you don't want to?"
"Neither want to nor can."
"What a pity."
I felt him stand up, and soon after, I heard a noise that I couldn't identify until something cold touched my leg, and my nightgown moved.
"Now you'll be able to move them."
He had cut my nightgown, above the knees or higher; I didn't want to think about it, didn't want to know, and was thankful for the blindfold that prevented me from seeing.
I felt him touching my legs, and I clenched them tight, even when his hand moved toward forbidden territory, I kicked out. I ended up with my feet tied to each side, my legs spread wide.
"You're crazy, please let me go."
"If you don't want me to gag you, control your mouth," his gruff and commanding voice silenced me and sent my nerves into overdrive.
The next sound was my nightgown being torn roughly, and I felt it split open down the middle. He finished cutting the part that held it to my arms and with a sharp pull tore it away from my body.
"What a beautiful body you have; you've taken me by surprise. You look truly delectable. It's a shame you haven't made up your mind because I'd claim you without a second thought."
There was nowhere to hide, nothing I could do; I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous and scared, though also anticipating his next move.
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