Episode 20

Lisa

Since I told Max about the bet that further destroyed my life and took away the only valuable thing I had, I felt more exposed than ever, vulnerable and ashamed.

I vowed never to cry about it again, but it was the first thing I failed at.

He inspires trust in me, but he is a man, so it's not right to call him my only sexual relationship, but the situation called for it. I got furious; I was angry because he wouldn't accept no as an answer.

He listened without commenting, thank God.

I know time is passing, and he needs an answer, but am I ready to face those bastards like another woman? Now I have money, power, and support, but deep down inside, I'm still the same defenseless and scared girl.

Today is when we should sleep together. I lay down and fell asleep almost immediately. I felt him turn me or maybe it was me who turned around; I honestly don't know, but I'm so sleepy. I should have woken up to talk about his birthday party.

I'll think about it. I know he'll provide me with support and security, but I don't know what I should do. I went back to sleep but woke up with him hugging me, not in a normal way, but even with his legs. I got so scared that I almost fell off the bed, but he caught me and nestled me in his arms, saying he just wanted to sleep like that.

His tone didn't allow any objections, and his body is so warm that I couldn't refuse; I've always been so cold. When I thought he was asleep, I pressed myself closer to his body and hugged him even tighter, planning to separate before he woke up.

I woke up feeling something in my hair and my neck, I opened my eyes, and he was very close to me, caressing my hair. It's a new feeling to experience that, my hair always used to be pulled. I felt a sense of tranquility, and my eyes wanted to close.

"We've slept a lot, let me go, we need to get up," I said but secretly wanted to stay in bed.

"Just relax, I'm not going to work."

"We still have to get up anyway."

"Does it make you nervous to be like this with me?" he smiled.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I think you are," he said, approaching my face, and I could feel his breath on my skin.

"No, stay away and let me get up."

"What would you do if I kissed you now?"

"It's not necessary, there's no one here."

"And if I just want a good morning kiss?" I turned my face slightly and kissed his cheek.

"Done, you've had your good morning kiss."

"I don't think a husband would think that's a kiss."

He kissed my cheek, then the corner of my lips, and finally pressed his lips onto mine while still stroking my hair. I wanted to pull away, but he didn't let me. He moved his lips gently against mine, something very soft, and then kissed my lower lip delicately. I should have pulled away, but a part of me wanted to experience something new and unknown.

"Good morning," he said, pulling away from me. "At least I was able to give you a good morning kiss, even though I didn't get a response."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's normal, and when I introduce you to my family, they won't settle for just a kiss like this," he said, giving me a soft touch on my lips.

"What do you mean?"

"If I kiss you, you get uncomfortable and tense up. You have to relax and let me kiss you when the time comes, naturally respond, of course."

"So, you can hug me, and that's it?"

"I know my family; they won't believe we're something if they can't see some affection or at least kisses. Take this as practice; I won't touch you or do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but you have to reciprocate, okay?"

I lowered my gaze and thought about his words; he was right. Our marriage wouldn't be believable if every time he kissed me, I pulled away. Besides, a kiss doesn't mean anything, not one, two, or three kisses; it doesn't mean he'll cross any boundaries or want to go further.

"Do you understand what I'm saying? Our marriage won't be believable if you can't stand being close to me. See? You're already pulling away again."

"I'm not doing it on purpose," I moved closer again and looked into his eyes.

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