Episode 15

Lisa

We journeyed to see places that I had barely heard of. I'd never planned to travel the world since, if barely affording my meals was a luxury, traveling to the nearest town less than a hundred kilometers away was out of the question.

We married, and I did so wearing a white dress intended for a celebration but not specifically bridal. It was all so odd, very surreal. I had never imagined getting married, let alone in white when I couldn't even approach the altar untouched—and all because of a bet orchestrated by my mother.

He gave me a kiss that I did not reciprocate because it wasn't necessary. It was merely the tradition of a kiss to seal our union.

We left, and though I would have loved to enjoy traveling on our honeymoon, I couldn't. He is so kind to me and goes to such lengths that it disappoints me to be unable to even enjoy his company.

Being on a honeymoon and carrying the ring that signifies my marital status constantly reminds me that I wasn't a virgin at the altar and curses my wretched life. He should have chosen someone else for a wife, not me, already damaged.

He wants to see me smile, but I never had a reason to. Revenge is the only thing on my mind, and even if I pursue it, it won't bring back what's lost or fix anything.

We took photos at one of the destinations merely for appearances—I hadn't thought of it, but he was right, as newlyweds, we were supposed to display love and closeness. His lips brushed mine for fleeting moments, but I am not accustomed to the feeling of having him so close.

When I saw a couple with a small child who seemed happy, in love, and looking at their child with such devotion, it moved me. That little one was smiling and looked immensely happy. I thought of my own life, without my father and with a mother who despised me just for being born, and I realized how lucky that child was.

Maybe I spent too long watching the small family because Maximo asked if I wanted to start a family. With the money I'll get when the marriage ends, I could afford artificial insemination and thus have a child that I will love and protect with my life. I told him I could be a single mother, which surprised him greatly.

The question of whether I had ever been in love came swiftly, and I chose to be honest. I didn't love Alexis; I clung to him and surrendered to him out of fear that he would vanish from my life. In reality, I felt nothing for him—no desire or sensation. So, I told Maximo I hadn't been in love, that my ex had let me down, and that was all. There was no way I could tell him more.

When the honeymoon ended, I sighed with relief at not having to get on a plane again. That scared me more than losing my virginity; at least with the latter, I could fall out of bed and get a bruise, but if the plane crashed, not an ounce of my body would remain intact. I don't know how Maximo can be so calm on that thing, but he even took my hand to soothe me.

Back at the mansion, he gave me my place as the lady of the house with his staff—how embarrassing.

The staff was no longer at the mansion the next day; they left after breakfast.

Unsure about lunch, I surveyed the fridge and found a great selection of ingredients to prepare whatever I wished. Everything was so new to me, including the spotless appliances that seemed more decorative than recently used.

I decided to cook roasted meat with spices and golden potatoes, along with a salad. I hoped Maximo would arrive and not be upset that I'd cooked, or worse, that he'd hate the food. It would be hard for him to like something so simple since he's used to expensive, exquisite foods prepared by top chefs at five-star venues.