Just Existing Stupid me

Stupid me

How much it hurts

Seeing the one that loves you

Say those hurtful words

Mock you

attack you with their sarcastic comments

talking to you like you are only problem in their world

Oh how much it hurts.

you start thinking..oh is it same person i fell in love with

is it same person who treats me like a jewel

Is it same person who said "I love you" but now they cant seem to even have love to understand you

Oh those daggers

Shooting at heart

That invisible bleeding dripping in form of tears...

Those hiccups

Those uneven breaths

That difficulty in breathing

Having trust issues..

With person you never thought you will have them with

the voices in my head are saying

I am demon

I am selfish

I ruined his life too

I am so bad

I should just let him live..without me so he can finally get out of the amount of pain he says i give him

I could have never imagined that i can give pain to my lover..its my nightmare

I wish to treat my lover like soft petals but

It doesnt mean spoiling them is free

Ofc i have my dignity

if i give him this much pain

i would rather leave than hurting him more

I know I can't change

Yes i am the villian here

For ruining other life

And leaving him is enough of a punishment for me

I dont want to get trapped

Trapped in this

Cycle of fights and lack of understanding

I knew i am hard to handle

And yeah reality hit me

I am not worth of anyone

my escape

and it's okay

my escape

Maybe that's your destiny

my escape

Be careful from now on lil one

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