Chapter 1 : The Beginning

Chapter 1 : The Beginning

Risa,

I'm sitting on my favourite table that is on the back of the cafe. Where no one would come to disturb me. I'm an a introvert and I don't like when people approach me. So, I intentionally try to avoid everyone. I wanna live my life peacefully rather than make it a chaos.

From where I'm sitting, I can look at outside of the window. This is the best place for me. I come here everyday and enjoy my cup of coffee.

But, that's not the only reason. I also like coming in here a lot because of it's indoor garden concept and they have various books in here too. The two things I like the most are here this make me be even more attracted to this place.

I always spend hours here reading books. This is the place where no one disturb me and I can read quietly.

While I was taking advantage of my alone time. I heard some footsteps approaching towards me. I know who exactly it is.

They are only people whom I allow to approach me They are my best friends Patch and Daisy.

I will introduce you to them later... but before that did I introduce myself?. I'm sorry about my forgetfulness. So, first I'll introduce myself then.

My name is Larisa Lawan. I was born in Thailand. When I was just a kid my family moved to New Zealand. I was in my middle school. When I moved back in Thailand with my mother. I used to live with my grandparents but now I live alone in my condo which near my university.

My family is not here with me anymore but I got used to living alone. My uncle raised me after most of my family passes away.

I'm an Architecture student currently in my first-year of university. I really loved my family a lot but now they are not here with me but still their memories are with me which I treasure the most.

Patch and Daisy been my best friends ever since I moved in here. They have been with me during good and bad times. We went through a lot together. I've trust them the most.

I'd met them when I just moved in here. I couldn't speak Thai so well and I was very scared to speak in front of anyone. So, I used to be alone at school and no one came up to me to talk. They saw me as odd one.

Later, These two came into my life and they have helped me a lot. As I was having hard time blending in with other. They were the one who approached me.

After that my life became much better. They are the most incredible people I ever came across in my life. They are like my family now. I can't be more thankful to them.

Since we first meet until now. We been together always. They are the only ones I have left with me. So, They are very close to me.

At the time, when I was thinking about all these. I heard the sound of someone pulling the chair. As I looked up, I saw Daisy and Patch sat in a chair front of me.

Patch is the girl with black jacket and torn denim. She is very tall even taller than me. I'm 170cm considered as tall but she even taller than me. She 178 cm damn tall as tower!. I'm envy her height and confidence so much!! next to her, that's Daisy.

She wore a white top and a purple skirt. Daisy is a lot shorter than us. She is 167cm but she is the sweetest one in three of us and mos approachable person too.

Me and Patch are rather called out blunt, and rude at times because we are not friendly to everyone. We are sort of anti social people and addition to that we don't think about others before us. We speak whatever on our mind directly even if it's rude.

We both basically have no social skill specially me. I'm very introverted person. Who doesn't like to talk to anyone rather than my friends.

Everyone say that, I don't even take the effort to talk to other and always have mean face when looking at other but I think that's not true. As for Patch she is basically doesn't have much interest in talking to others.

We were born in reputable family that make other think we are spoiled and have bad attitude just because we are rich.

Well, Daisy is opposite of us. She get along with others easily. She is very kind person who think of others before herself and she is the one that everyone prefer talking too rather than us.

Today, we don't have any classes. So, we aren't wearing uniform. We just came here to hang out or scold me..

Why would they scold me?...you'll know that soon.

"How long have you been here"? Patch murmured. While she was doing something on her phone.

"Just a couple of minutes ago," I replied with smiley face trying to look innocent. I wanna hide my bad doings.

"I'm going to order okay?" I told them and run away before the topic could even get started.

"Okay." Daisy said. I nodded and got up from my seat and made my way straight to the cafe counter.

When cafe owner seen me coming towards the counter. He came to my side to take my order. We come here often. So, he is familiar with us.

"You looking beautiful today." He told and complimented me with friendly smile on his face.

Today, I wore pastel blue cardigan with a clouds pattern, white t-shrit inside it and straight dark blue jeans.

"Thank you," I said and smile back at him lightly. I knew him since I come here almost everyday. So, it's a slightly easy to have small talk with him sometimes.

"I would like to order as usual." I said and removed my phone from my pocket to pay.

"Okay I'll start preparing it. You can go back to your seat. I'll send it to your table." He replied.

"I'll pay up front," I said. He putted the scanner in front of me knowing how I'm going to pay. After it was done then I returned back to my chair.

I've noticed that Daisy and Patch was talking about something while staring at me. Daisy pushed her elbow towards Patch's hand indicating I was returning to the table.

I'd immediately sensed their action but I didn't react to it and when I reached at the table. I sat in my chair quietly and started using my phone knowing what they want to talk about and I wanna avoid it.

"Did something happened with the guy....Who you were going to meet few days back?" Dasiy asked me both of their faces looked pretty serious right now. As I seen their faces, I putted my phone aside.

"I didn't went to meet him." I told causally. There one thing talking about guys doesn't interest me at all. I love to talk about everything with my friends but this topic.. love doesn't exist for me.

"Why did you do that again Risa?" Daisy said while scolding me about it she seemed concerned about me. I don't mind her, trying to match make me because she does all this out of concern.

"I don't like all these you know. I tried it when you persuaded me but I couldn't do it" I said explained it to her.

"He is the fourth guy in this month whom we tried match with you. Not to mention the other people who came up to you, but you didn't talk to any of those." Daisy said with concerned face. I know her concern is right because I'm a reserved person but I don't want anyone in my space.

"I understand that, but if you continue to reject people like this, then nobody will ever come up to you again." Daisy added. I get her concerns about me that she doesn't want me to feel alone like I did before.

"I know, I tried when you told me to but it didn't worked. I think it's time to stop...I know, earlier I did many things which made you guys be concerned about me but I don't need anyone in my life. I'm very much comfortable as I am and I'm not feeling alone at all. "I said softly and trying to put my point of view in front of them.

"Ok, If you think like this then I won't force you to go on date again." Daisy said calmly agreeing me. While respecting my decision. She doesn't want to put me in a uncomfortable place too.

I'm grateful that whatever she did for me but it's now my decision. I don't want anyone in my life. I'm okay being with myself. I want to leave as it is.

It's not I like, I hate people etc. It's just that being alone make me feel secured that I don't have anyone to lose and my biggest fear to actually have someone with me ...it give me anxiety that I'll lose them..like I did before.

This anxiety started after that incident happened with me in the past but I don't have courage to think about it again. So, let it be I don't talk about it with anyone.

I didn't even discuss this incident with Patch and Daisy too. They know how sensitive I'm about this topic that's why they also doesn't mention it. This fear is so intense that I find it extremly difficult to get along with others.

Mostly, I would run away even at the name of relationships. I'm okay being alone it's not a problem for me. What scare me the most is to have feeling for someone. I've fear having someone by my side.

Before, I'd been through very traumatic experience. I did completely shutted myself with everyone including my friends. All I can say is that it was darkest time of my life but I'm better now.

That's why Daisy thinks it will be great for me. if I find someone in my life who could be with me. So, the past won't repeat itself.

She thinks it's better to have someone in my life than live alone. I know she is worried for me but this is not what I want.

She persuaded me to meet few guy many times. Even beg me to which why I have to accept her request.....that also didn't worked at all.

Just we're talking about all this, We got our food on our table that made them concentrate on the food which spared me from talking more about this relationship topic.

I don't want them to empathize with me anymore. I'm in very good state of mind now and also extremely comfortable with my current state..

I've already explained myself to them. I feel relieved that they understand my point too. I think it's time for them to stop being concerned about me. Even though love doesn't happen for me that's okay because it's not like I've never tried.

Hold on! I did went on blind date. I had never actually been in relationship with anyone. Actually, I didn't even went on second date with either of them. Let's just say this things doesn't work out for me.

Date 1

At the coffee house,

He brought me to this cat café which I really don't like. Don't get me wrong, I'm a cat lover but I think these people take animal as there way to earn profit and sometimes even the customer are not very kind with them which I don't like.

"Hey, sweetheart." He said. When I went to take a seat with him. Which I raised my eyebrow in amusement as a reply.

Sweetheart? Just hearing that I already wanted to run away. I'm an a introvert what do you expect with me?

Like how someone actually call the person they just meet sweetheart? I just don't get it..

Sweetheart?

My Foot!.... I don't like people who have this gecko behaviour. I swear this word made everything be even more awkward for me. He and I are practically stranger to each other.

Well, I guess someone would get a great lecture from me today because they were the one who forced me to come here today.

"Sawadee Kha." I said and attempted to make a fake smile. I promise that I was trying to make that look true.

Because, I don't want anyone to blame me that I didn't even put any efforts in this date because I've already went out of my comfort zone by coming out with him here.

"What would you like to have?" He replied, while smiling at me. I was thinking that he was being genuine and I started to convince myself that it can work out but I obviously knew what's gonna happen.

"Unsweetened latte will be fine," I said. I'm trying to keep my mood up. So, I won't ruin anything.

"Just coffee? You can have something with coffee... doughnut? ....doughnut will be good. " He asked himself and answered himself without waiting for my answer.

I didn't like way he continued to stare at me. I'm anti social and I'm not used to being stared constantly. This made me feel nervous and uncomfortable instantly.

"No, just coffee," I said. He didn't even waited to hear my answer. So, I had step up and tell him what I wanted. Even though I'm an a introvert but that doesn't mean I can't speak up.

Still, I told him with a smile because I thought he was trying to be considered of me.

"You should have something with the coffee you look thinner than before when I first saw you" He told. I'm not actually surprised that he have seen me earlier because I'm University Star. The whole university know about me.

It's common that he might have seen me before but what made irritated me was that he was lying to me. I've been gaining weight recently. I was a bit thinner back then.

What do you think he's got a vision problem? I mean, I didn't lose weight. I'm not kinda of person who needs compliments and wanna be centre of attraction.

I'd just joined Moon and Star competition too because I was forced by seniors. I don't even know how I've won that competition because all I did was fake smile in the whole competition and played piano.

Which learned since kindergarten. I love music very much that's why it was only part where I was genuinely interested in.

So, The moral of the story : This fake compliments won't work at me.

He been lying at face obviously but what I can do. I have to act like I bought his lie.

"No, I don't want to have anything else," I said. I acted as dumb a person who doesn't know about her own body and I politely refused him.

His stupid ass still ordered that doughnut for me. FYI, I don't like sweet things at all. If you had something in your head. You might have remembered that I've ordered unsweetened latte which clearly indicate don't like sugary stuff but he would still force me to have that doughnut.

While I was still trying to talk to him but he was being touchy with me. I tried to brush his hand off and clearly showed how much I dislike it but he still continues being touchy. Well, He obviously haven't heard how anti social I am right?

What I'm joking about there is always a head line in University gossip pages how blunt and distant I am.

Should control myself or not?

"Why would you order that for me, when I don't want it? and how do I look skinny when I've gained weight?... Stop lying to my face and dare to touch me again. I'll break you hand" I told him with a very sarcastic face.

I don't mind if he spread this news in whole University. How he got his ass handed to him.

"I've already ordered it for you. So you need to eat it now, and if you don't want me to call you skinny then should I call you fat? " He said. He laughed like a maniac and acted like he had made a very good joke.

"I've just figured it out what call myself. I would call rather myself dumb then go out with a idiotic person like you." I replied and copy his laugh.

This guy did get on my nerves. So, He did got what he sow.

Someone would care to give this guy a little brain. He insulted the girl he wanna be with. My tolerance have reached to it's limit and I can't stay here any longer.

I pulled my wallet out of my bag and put some cash on the table for the coffee and his stupid doughnut that he ordered. I grabbed my purse and got out of my chair. He watching me with confusion and grabbed my hand to stop me.

"I'm leaving first, I don't want to stay here any longer with a maniac." I said and yanked my arm which he was grabbing. After I walked out of that coffee shop.

Date 2

At the Ice cream shop,

So I don't want to relive that weird experience again, this time I've chosen the location. Please be a bit nicer then that guy..... Because I don’t wanna deal with another idiot.

I was waiting for him outside the store. After, few minutes he arrived. At least he is on time.

"Sawadee Kha." I said before, he could even have the chance to talk. You know people learn from there past mistakes and definitely I won't relive the same things again.

Sweetheart was surely traumatizing.

"Sawadee Krub." He said and smiled back at me.

"How are you doing?" I asked. I want to be kind this time because Patch asked me to have more patience this time, Like I didn't had it last time. I did required patience to tolerate that fool for almost an a hour.

"I'm fine, how are you?" He questioned me.

"I'm all right too," I replied and we walked inside the store together with him.

"I'll get dark chocolate ice cream...What flavours would you like have?" I asked him. When it already our was time for us to order and there other people waiting for their turn too..

"I can't make up my mind yet," He said. He frown his eyebrows and placed his hand over his chin. As if he was thinking something very serious.

"I want chocolate, but I also like strawberry too," he said and continued to look at both flavours simultaneously. I remembered there are a lot of people in the queue behind us waiting for their turn. They all making faces at us because this guy taking too much time to order!

"Why don't you get any one of them. you can buy another one next time?" I said indicating him to order fast and obviously he didn't get it.

I did which I'd feared the most. I turned around to watch the faces of people in queue making angry faces at us. Which made me uncomfortable.

"Yes but I don't know which one I want to have right now. " He said while making faces like a kid that is anything but not cute.

I can hear people whining more and more about us. I want to tell them that they are not the only one getting bothered. I am also annoyed with him.

"So, why not you get both flavours together" I suggested because I am very uncomfortable standing in here and we are here for quite a long time.

"No, I'll just pick up the chocolate flavour and I'll buy strawberry some other day." He replied with a very happy face.

I feel like my soul has just left my body.....

Isn't it what I suggested you at the start. Why do feel and look like a babysitter right now.

So, he took the chocolate flavour finally we got out of the line. Like FINALLY.. I am little relieved because there is no more angry gaze on me.

After, we finished with our ice cream. He asked to go on a dinner with him.

Excuse me, do I look like a crazy person to you. you took so much time to pick a ice cream flavour. Can I expect you pick dinner any faster than this ?

NO! I don't wanna babysit you any longer.

"Oh, I forgot I had to meet the professor in a couple of minutes. I need to go now," I said... I've officially came up with the lamest excuse ever. I did tried to hide the embarrassment that I got from using that excuse and I picked my belongings as quickly as possible.

I looked at his face before running away and he smiled at me.

Wait! did he actually bought that? who cares. Before he could say anything I've typically ran away.

Date 3

Near the University,

So, I have learned few things from my previous experiences that I can't to go out to eat with any guy that's why I've decided to meet them in University.

"Sawadee Kha.” I said with a smile and it was a genuine smile because I was in good mood that day.

"Sawadee," he said with indifferent look.

I guess he can't take any respect given to him. I think this guy doesn't wanted to meet me it’s clearly showing on his face. Then why did he come to this place? Anyway, I also didn't wanted to meet him. So, we're equal.

"You didn't wanted to meet me right ?" I said with confidence. Well, I can tell if he have any interest in me or not.

"..." He was dumbfounded for a second and looked at me with suprised expression.

“It's alright, you can say it directly.” I told him and encourage him to speak what's on his mind. I'm not typical kind of girl who can't take rejection and truthfully I won't be affected by it too.

“Well, Yes. I came here because I was forced.” He replied slightly hesitating.

“Then we're on the page. I don't wanna be here too. You don't have to force yourself and act like you're interested in me.” I said bluntly. If he thinks that I was saying this because I'm mad or anything, it's not true.

“Are you speaking the truth?” He told. After he heard what I've said he instantly turned his head towards me and looking at my face with shocked expression.

“Yeah, I'm speaking the truth.” I replied him causally it's nothing shocking at all. Girls can be uninterested too.

“Actually you're not bad at all it's just I don't like you.” He said. I think he is trying to console me but that is not needed though.

“You don't have to worry no one can get it more than me. I've no interest getting into any type of relationships either. I was also here because I was forced....and also one more thing you can use my Anti-Social behaviour as an excuse to whoever is forcing you.” I suggested him. I don’t practically care what people think about me and my introverted behaviour is already famous. So, no one would ever suspect him.

“Thank you....it just that I'm not interested in girls. I've a boyfriend but I can't tell my friends yet.” He spoke truthfully which made me smile.

“It's nice that you have someone. I don't think...I've any right to say this but still, I think you should tell your friends about it and If they're your actually friends then they will be happy in your happiness.” I suggested him.

It's my opinion. They aren't his actual well wisher. If they aren't happy in their friends happiness.

“I'll try, you're not bad as others say.” He told me. Now he was smiling at me.

Well, what he said.. I'll take that as a compliment.

“Thank you, I'll leave now.” I replied. I know that I'm a not bad person it just that I prefer being a reserved person and I can't interact with other easily makes other think I'm mean.

So, This date wasn't success too. At least it wasn't bad as the other two dates.

I'm literally exhausted with going on these date thing. Seriously, socialising this much drain my whole energy. I have got that this dating isn't my thing.

Now, I just wanna go back to my normal life and I don't want to date Anyone, Anymore.

No one can force me. Even if Daisy cry while rolling on the floor. I won't agree with this idea. Keep that in mind

SO, EVERYONE PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***