Walter

*Days...

What are they to me anymore?

Nothing, that’s what.

Day in, day out, things always seem the same*.

"There he is again..."

"Wonder why he still comes?"

"He’s that kid, right?"

Day and day, again, I listen to rumors. People talking behind my back. Though, whenever I look at them, I don’t really see a face. If anything, I see an "X" on them. Because I don’t know them; nor do I want to.

I was a wallflower in my own right, but, not one of choice, because it was placed upon me by the society I lived in.

I tried my best, really, to hold on to it all. But then, came a day when a prank went a bit too far. Funny how karma works sometimes. I guess what goes around comes around, sooner or later.

It’s already unbearable to hold it all in, but that just tipped the scales. My life just crashed and burned causing me to do a series of acts that got me suspended for a few weeks.

A few week was enough for me to come up with one concrete idea: ending this pathetic life of mine.

I couldn’t remember what day that was exactly. I was just thinking, minding my own business, staring at the four walls of my room when I glanced at the calendar by my bedside.

It was the first day of that month, that I decided. I ripped out the bottom half. The month now ended on the 13th which I decided, was going to be my last day.

The very next day, I took a part time job without my parent’s consent. I owed my mother some money for something I had done in the past, and I plan to repay it. All of it.

I used the two weeks suspension to the fullest, going full time and all.

My mom never minded me, because she never knew I got suspended and my work time just so happened to be the same as my school days.

I saved as much as I could, then sold my things to fill in the payment. I left it in an envelope by my mother’s side. With that, I could die without regrets.

The next day, the 13th, I decided to go to school. Just one more day to see the life I am about to leave behind, before its all over.

School hadn’t changed. Deep inside, my heart ached for someone to notice, anyone actually. But, no one ever did.

Before I knew it, classes have ended. With the bell ringing, I left the classroom and onto the hallway, walking around till my mind decides to end things.

When I found the courage, I went to the rooftops. I got over the rails, and stood on the edge. Luckily, most students were too busy with their friends to notice someone on the roof.

I closed my eyes, listened to my heart beating in my chest for one last time, before letting one foot off the roof.

Only one foot more, and I’m gone...

I could have jumped then, but I didn’t.

I stepped back from the rails, and came back onto the roof, for I forgot one important thing to do: write a letter.

I didn’t want anyone to be accused of murdering me. So, I went back to the classroom to get my bag. Probably not the best excuse to delay your suicide for a bag, but I felt I needed to at that time.

Why would I need it is still beyond me, but I rushed back to the room. I was a bit worried to think that the janitor would have taken it already.

I glanced around my room, full of wooden chairs and desks cast a strew. My eyes wandered until they found my bag, sitting under a pile of other stuff forgotten by uncaring owners.

I made a silent apology for the things, and headed out.

My mind was so occupied that I didn’t notice the girl by the doorway, and nearly crashed into her.

"I-I’m sorry-" I said right away, but as she turned around, it felt like my mind suddenly clicked, seeing a familiar face.

I knew the girl. She was once a classmate of mine. Someone I wished, never to see, ever again...

"A..Angeline...?"

I forced her name out. Its been years since I last said it. How many was it? Three...four...I don’t remember.

Regret started to swell inside of me.

Unwanted memories forced their way back up.

But, like throwing up, I held it all in.

"H-how has it been?" I again asked. But she didn’t answer. I just looked at her. Seeing the changes time has done on her.

She has gotten taller, her short dark brown hair has grown long enough to flow down her shoulders like a curtain. Her childish body has gained the features of a lady. Yet, her face still had the gentleness she had, even back then.

The way she is now, seeing how she looks feels like a dagger to my chest. My regret started to swell like my stomach after a meal at a Christmas buffet: itching and rising, but trying my best to hold it all in.

I waited, clenching my teeth, mentally preparing myself for the worst.

"Your a monster!"

"Stay away from me!"

Or a simple, "I hate you!"

Whatever she would say, I readied to take the beating.

But, what she said next caught me completely off guard.

With her hazel brown eyes growing wide, as in surprise, she asked, "H-how did you know my name?"

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