Awake in the Sorrows of Reality

Just like any ordinary morning; As soon as I awoke, I immediately messaged Grace. I expected an immediate reply from her. Since, that is really just how she is: Fast replies, unending talks, oversharing, and lastly, her undiminishing enthusiasm. I loved the warmth and happiness, which she carried with herself everywhere she went.

"Good morning, my precious Grace."

"How was your sleep? Did you have sweet dreams?"

"Did you have your breakfast yet?"

My eyes awaited her reply for about five minutes, which was the minimum time she would usually take before responding to my messages. "Hmm... Why isn't she replying to my messages?" I thought to myself, scratching the back of my head whilst my gaze still remained on the mobile screen. "Is she busy?" I contemplated and began to think of all the possible alternatives of what she could be doing.

"Maybe, she might be talking to her parents about something...?"

"No, no. That might not be the reason. Her parents are usually gone to work by seven..." I whispered to myself, denying my guessing myself, as I turned to look at the clock. It was already 7:40 AM. "Her parents are too punctual to be doing that..." I said, before picking up my toothbrush in my left hand and the toothpaste in my right. "I guess, I'll just wait..." I smiled to myself whilst staring at the profile picture of my Precious Grace.

“My pretty cinnamon roll must be fast asleep. She must be looking so adorable...” I quietly chuckled to myself, softly and my cheeks turned flushed red.

I couldn't help but just get flustered at the dreamy fantasy and imagination of us, together, “I wish I could watch her sleep, in my arms...” I marvelled, imagining myself cradling Grace, in my arms, admit the warmth of our love, just like the night when we had made love...

My fingers replayed Grace's voice message that I had received from her yesterday; Her honey like sweet voice melted my heart. “I will be giving you a love letter, tomorrow, my sweet boy~ Sleep nicely, so that you're fresh tomorrow. I'm so excited to hang out with you tomorrow noon.” I smiled to myself while chopping up the vegetables required for the vegetable soup I was making.

A loud cackle escape my lips, as I read that message, which Grace had sent to me, yesterday. “Would you love me if I didn't exist?” Such a humorous young beautiful lady, she is. “What? 😂 Could that be possible for you to not exist? I wouldn't want that. 😾😹💖” My gaze slowly moved to my reply to her random humorous yet an extremely adorable question.

My Grace was truly my sunshine, my one and only...

She exists, she is alive, she is breathing, and she is mine. That's all that matters. I adore her with the bottom of my heart.

I opened Grace's chat to see no response to my messages and not even a 'seen' mark, “Grace, are you still asleep? 😂” I typed her a message, casually sticking some laughing emoticons with the message— to make it sound like a light-hearted question and not a mocking remark.

Several minutes passed... Trudging to my bed; I just sat on the bed before my eyes just involuntarily started to feel heavy and droopy.

...15:30 PM...

I jolted awake hours later by the deafening sound of my phone ringing. It was a call. My body felt quite feeble and stiff, since, I had just woken up.

“Who is it...?” I murmured to myself before slowly extending my hand to my bedside table. “Grace?!” I whisper-shouted, quickly trying to answer Grace's call... However, perhaps, my phone had some other plans. My phone was glitching. “This damn phone! Pick up, pick up, pick up...” I growled, in annoyance due to my phone's inability to co-operate as I repeatedly tapped at the pick up button.

The call was cut from Grace's side before my phone stopped glitching, and before I could even answer the call. “No, no, no, no... I've to call again.” Anxiously, I paced around the room. “Please, pick up, pick up, pick up...” Crossing my fingers, I hopelessly wished for my precious Grace to answer the call.

I endeavored to call Grace for about seven times before grunting under my breath, “This won't do. I need to go to her place.” Without waiting for even a minute, I immediately dashed up to Grace's house.

“Oh no... No, no, no!” I paced around, left and right as my eyes stared at Grace's house's main door, it was locked. Grace and her parents... were they gone to visit her grandparents...? I wanted answers. No, I mean, I needed them.

I bombarded too many text messages to Grace at once. I just didn't care anymore, how desperate I looked.

“Grace?”

“Reply to messages, please.”

“You haven't replied to my messages. And you had called me.”

“My phone was glitching, and I couldn't answer. Please, please, answer my messages and calls.”

“I'm really sorry.”

“Are you busy? Did something happen?”

“I came to your house, but Your house is locked too. Please, respond to my messages.”

“Please, tell me where you are!”

My eyes immediately lit up, as I received a call from my beloved cinnamon roll. “Grace!” I hurriedly answered the call, “Grace! Grace, I was so worried, where were you-” “Please, come to the hospital ASAP!” An unfamiliar female voice could be heard from the other side.

I froze on my spot for a moment and a deafening silence spread around for three seconds before a subtle quiet gasp escaped my mouth. “What? Why? What happened? Who are you? WHERE IS GRACE?” I emphasized a little on the last question. Grace's whereabouts were more of a priority to me. I needed to know where she was and who was speaking to me on call and why was someone else speaking to me.

“I will tell you everything when you reach here. Please just- just come! Do anything, just come! AS FAST AS YOU CAN! Please, it's important. It's about Grace! Please. I've sent you the hospital's location on WhatsApp.”

Before I could speak anything further, she hung up. I tugged on to my hair firmly, in frustration. My head hurt, and It felt like my head could explode any second.

......15:48 PM......

...-GRACE'S POV-...

I felt extremely frail. My cousin was outside the room I was admitted in. I could listen to the faint whispers of my parents speaking to each other.

“Do you think she would survive?”

“I really do not know. Please... Don't stress me,”

“Why are you always so careless about our daughter?”

“Oh, now I'm careless? You're her mother. She's your utmost responsibility.”

“How irresponsible does a father have to be to say that?”

My grandfather heard them arguing quietly, hence, he interrupted. “Shush! You two! Do you both not see how serious this situation is? Quit your arguments for once. You both are her parents, you're both equally responsible for her. The pure hatred and despise, you have for each other, holds no meaning, for this moment. Your daughter is in life or death situation. Focus on HER.” He warned and scolded my parents.

“Dad, you don't know how irresponsible and insolent this woman is-” My father pointed at my mother while saying so. “Yes, and why wouldn't she? Don't pretend to be some god sent angel on earth. She has fulfilled more responsibilities than you ever could have. So, it is better, if you shut your gob.” Said, my grandpa, utterly agitated at the moment.

“Dad, you always take her side. This isn't fair. Nobody understands MY situation-”

“Oh, yes? What's your situation? A man who believes, providing money is his utmost responsibility in the household, but, barely provides anything, not even more than your wife!” My grandpa slightly raised his voice as she continued with his long furious tirade. The nurse heard him yell and advised him, “Please, don't speak too loud... It could bother your granddaughter and the other patients.” My grandpa nodded and apologized to her politely. The nurse closed the door back again and went to the other patients.

Grandpa lowered his voice to a low whisper as he scolded my father, “I swear to god, your mother should have never pampered you to this degree. If I had beaten your ass up in your childhood. You wouldn't have turned out to be such a disdainful idiot.” Then my grandpa just stomped towards the door to go out to smoke his ciggerate, which he would usually do, when frustrated.

My dad was visibly embarrassed and humiliated at this point. My mom was just staring at him from the corner of her eyes.

My grandpa reached out his hand to the door knob to open it, but before he could open it. The door was immediately jammed open, by someone. It created a loud noise, because of how forcibly it was opened. My eyes slowly opened, and my blurred up sight moved up to the door to see who it was.

It was... It was Tsukito!

At the sight of him, my hands made a strong attempt to move. I slightly raised up my hand, gesturing for him to come to me.

Tsukito had frozen on his spot at the sight of me, laid on hospital bed, my forehead all covered up with a long white bandage— to prevent blood flow.

“How- How... How did this... happen?” He questioned, glancing at everyone, one by one, in the room: Mom, dad, grandpa and me. “Actually, Her-” Before, my grandpa could speak. I glanced at my parents, grandpa and then returned my gaze back to Tsukito and I blurted out, “I- I slipped. I slipped down the staircases.” My voice sounded faint and raspy; As if I'm dehydrated.

“That does-” My grandpa couldn't finish, and my dad interrupted, “That's what happened. Yes.”

Tsukito didn't pay much attention to anybody's words at the moment. He was only staring at me. “I am really sorry. I didn't know this. My phone actually-” I smiled at Tsukito, shushing him by pressing my index finger against his lips; I simply just rushed my hand through his hair before weakly trying to pull his face closer to mine. “I know. It's okay... I don't have much time... Please, take... This letter...” I said, whimpering to the constant lingering pain around my abdomen, before taking out the letter from my pocket and giving it to him. His teary gaze moved from my face to the letter. He held my hand with his trembling hands, and for the last time... He kissed my hand.

“I'm sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm SORRY, I'M SORRY!” His voice slightly raised more and more with each and every apology; Bawling his eyes out, he buried me in his embrace. I could feel my parents sharply and intently glaring at him.

“I love you, Tsukito. I'll come back. We'll reunite, in one way or another.” I whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek and resting my head on his chest as my both hands caressed his upper back...

...-TSUKITO'S POV-...

For the last time, I held my beloved cinnamon roll, Grace, in my embrace.

For the last time, I felt her hands caress my back and rush through my hair.

For the last time, we pressed our lips against one another's.

For the last time, I felt her breath hit my chest.

For the last time, I saw her blink before she closed her eyes... forever.

I hugged her tighter and tighter, wanting to melt my body into hers, entirely. I felt her hand slip and fall off from my back, motionless. I leaned back to look at her face for the last time. Furthermore, I observed her beauty, which was now, however, lifeless.

Those closed eyes— with the absence of her usual lively gaze.

...*End of the Flashback*...

I jolted up from my bed; My eyes teary and my body all covered in sweat. The fresh and horrifying memory of Grace's death Haunted my dreams, every so often...

I opened Grace's chat, reading all our past conversations. Her adorable yet meaningful question which held no meaning to me earlier, caught my entire attention.

“Would you still love me if I didn't exist?”

I read that question again and again and again, till it overwhelmed my mind. I wish I had just simply answered that question with a yes.

I frowned, closing my eyes, trying too hard to not have a tear fall down my eyes, “Yes. Yes, grace. Even though you don't exist in this world anymore, you still exist in my heart. And, yes, I still love you wholeheartedly. I need you back again, in my life.” My lips quivered as I tried to hold in a cry, hugging a pillow tightly, imagining it as Grace.

“Please, come back to me.” I pleadingly stared upwards restlessly lying on the bed.

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