Chapter Nineteen

I had gone inside the house to get a cigarette... Whenever I felt upset, I smoked heavily... Seeing Raghad and Samer kissing towards us... Their intertwined fingers made my airways contract and block... Samer sat with us, and I went Raghad inside... After a while I entered, intending to go to Samer's room and get cigarettes, and I saw her in front of me... The anger that was blocking my people with that air came out suddenly with a rush poured on her... So I spoke to her harshly, refusing to listen to what she wanted to tell me. With it... Now I'm in the room feeling remorse... Why am I treating her this way?? Isn't this Raghad... my beloved, spoiled child?? Raghad... do you hear?? Do you realize?? It's Raghad! pleasant ! I picked up my cigarettes and made my way outside... As I crossed the corridor near the kitchen I spotted my sister Dana, who was wearing a kitchen apron and was about to walk to the door... "Walid!... Oh cigarettes!" Prevents unpleasant odor from storming his nose! "I won't smoke here!" She said, "I'm also going to say goodbye to Samer! Lazy Raghad left me to work alone!" Dana said, "Sorry, Samer. I'm going to say goodbye to you now and go back to the kitchen!" And she addressed her words to Raghad: "The lazy people sit here! But after I get married, the housework will fall on their heads against their will!" Samer laughed, and so did my father... As for Raghad, she threw Dana looked indifferently and then started drinking tea... My mother said: "It's on my head! You'll both get out of here in one night!" She said: “What… Mom? Is it…?” Samer said: “We have finally decided!!” Dana walked towards Raghad with joy, and the other one stood up and embraced… “Oh, malicious one! Do you want to steal the spotlight from me?” And they laughed cheerfully... Then Dana hugged Samer and muttered some words, then said goodbye to him and went back inside... "I have to leave now!" Samer said... My parents stood up, hugged them and kissed their heads... Then he took my hand Raghad, and held her to him in a long embrace... All this while I was standing like a tree next to me... I feel lightning strike me from every side, and I am unable to do anything... And now... the traitor is kissing towards me... He wants to say goodbye to me... Get away, Samer, because I feel like I want to hit you like crazy! And I don't know which strong woman had her moment and prevented my hand from smashing his face... I shook hands with him and gave him a cold, emotionless hug... and let him go... After he left, I crossed the table and those sitting around it, and stood far away so as not to be disturbed. Someone smoked my cigarettes... I could hear the voices of the three, my father, my mother and the traitor, talking about the matters of the party and the preparation for it... and I felt like a thick layer of cement had been poured on my chest and it dried up and held its breath... My mother went after that. I went to the kitchen to help Dana, and my father stayed with Raghad... I peeked at them from time to time... My father was sitting with his back to me, but the traitor was facing me, and it didn't happen that I turned until our eyes collided, and the cement on my chest increased layer by layer. ...my father got a call on his mobile phone, and then he went inside...and my little girl was left alone drinking tea...I stopped looking back...and strayed into the nothing I don't see in front of me...and now I felt a movement behind me. ... and I remained as I was waiting ... and a shadow appeared in front of me growing and growing ... and the girl standing behind me was getting closer and closer ... and now she stopped ... for a few seconds ... Raghad remained standing behind me and I did not have How brave and strong I can turn to her... But I see her shadow in front of me... And I see her hand moving towards me... Then she backs... Then she turns... Then she pulls... When she got away I turned back and I saw her She walks away, her hand wiping what might be tears on her face... I reach out my hand... I want to hold her... Hold her shadow... Hold her shadow... Hold her tears... Grab the particles of air she touched. ..and Raghad disappeared...and my hands came back empty, only reaping the heartbreak and pain...Then, my stomach twisted...and squeezed like wet clothes with my hands...On that night, Nawar, my sister's fiancé, came and I sat with him for some time... and although he was gentle in character, he was not without vanity and arrogance... and he embarrassed me when he asked me about my alleged studies, my work and my non-existent experiences! And I was shortening the answers to some vague sentences, and quickly withdrew, leaving the two betrothed to enjoy their dinner... Because of the severity of the pain - both physical and psychological - I was satisfied with a small amount of food... And I went to Samer's room, drowsy... Raghad was not She shared the meal with us, so I don't think she would think about doing that after the rude way I treated her... Regret pinch me and pricked all my sensory nerves... In addition to the sharp stomach pain... And again the blood came out of my stomach and my anxiety increased... I must have a disease... and I must see a doctor... On the bed I twisted so much that I turned the mattresses, blankets and pillows upside down... My thoughts were about Raghad... How could I calm down for one moment... And her wedding date has been set! If I could postpone it a century later...just one century...I guarantee that it would remain isolated from any man...and die without anyone reaching it...I took out the torn image of Raghad and made its parts unpacked, and I contemplated it, then scattered it. Once again, I collect it like a madman... Yes, crazy... Because such behavior cannot come from a sane being... I left it tugged on the table next to me... And I swung the room back and forth like a pendulum of a clock! The hour approached one at night... and I was between the burning pain of my stomach and the pain of my burning heart... until I wanted to eat anything that would calm the burning fire inside me... and to breathe anything that expelled the distress from my chest...

💗Quoted from another author 💗

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