Chapter VII

Because my brother Walid is no longer around, I will tell you about some of what happened in our house after the great calamity. Neither me, nor my parents, Dana, or Raghad, because of Walid's absence, was anything easy at all, especially Raghad, because she was very attached to him and his departure was the latest disaster for her. Walid, before he went out with my father from the house that day to a place we did not know, passed by Raghad's room and it had been drained in the afternoon. I think he was crying there for a long time... He searched his pockets, then took out a bunch of amusement park game tickets, and put them beside her as he put his wristwatch... Then he kissed her forehead and left. He came to us one by one and hugged us with warmth and continuous tears.. When I asked Dana: “Where are you going, Walid?” My father replied: “He will travel to study, as you know.” What we know is that the date of the trip was not on that day... and if it had been fixed, I would not have known that he was in prison other than the next day. And she was forced to keep this secret from the two young ones. It is true that I wished that Ammar would perish the moment he charmed me and made the people around me laugh at me, but I did not wish that my older brother and only brother would be the one to destroy him... During the past years, quarrels often broke out between them and our last fight was not Change an episode of the series... The series finale The last episode... While we were sitting in the living room after my father and Walid left, we heard an abnormal scream from Raghad's room. We all rushed towards her and found her in a terrible state of panic and fear... and she screamed "Walid ... Walid... "This was followed several times and times and cases and cases of panic, panic and collapse that claimed the little girl's health for weeks... Every day, even every hour, Raghad calls Walid's phone, but to no avail." He said He would wait for my call every day "She thought he had traveled.. "I kept my promise... He must keep his promise" And a lot of hallucinations and obsessions... And the abnormal behavior of her... And instead of growing up. .. I think she was young and went back six years, that is, as she first came to us ... Constant crying, and unjustified fear, my madness clinging to my mother, even in sleep. She refused to go to school in the first days. She often entered Walid's room and lay on his bed and started crying and then screaming, until my mother had to lock that room until further notice... Days rolled on, and her condition began to calm down little by little, and she got used to the idea that Walid did not He is present, and he will return after a long time ... As for the tickets for the game, when I wanted to take them once to have fun in the garden, I refused ... and said: "I will go with Walid when he returns." As for the watch, she still keeps it among her precious things. ... "I will return it to Walid when he returns" because he was transferred to the capital's prison. We encountered some difficulties in visiting him, especially as the conditions of the country deteriorated a lot, the war intensified, and the destruction came and spread and destroyed what was destroyed of buildings, lands and streets ... and Everything, and we had to leave our house and move to another city... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Every day, and now and then a new person is thrown into prison. In the recent period, most of the prisoners were perpetrators of political crimes or unjustly accused of them. I was the youngest, as I was not yet twenty, and my presence among the prisoners was interesting. I met a (colleague) named Nadim. This Nadim was accused of a political crime and was sentenced to long years of imprisonment and deprivation of life... “Who takes care of your wife and daughter now?” I asked him during a conversation with us, and did we have anything but conversations?? He replied: "I don't have many relatives, but I think they will turn to my half-brother (Atef), he is financially able and can help them - if he accepts." What made the matter go unnoticed is that Nadim did not have a close relationship with his half-brother Atef or his deceased son Ammar... What happened is that with time we became good friends despite that. He was the only supporter and encouragement for me in the bitter prison life... and what bitterness?? What torment? Any waste...?? Every night, I lie on the narrow, tattered, dirty bed, instead of my spacious, comfortable bed, and cover my exhausted body with tattered sheets, instead of soft, clean blankets... I close my eyes and think... and remember... and weep... I take out the two pictures from under the old flat pillow, and stare at them...Here, all my family stands, this is my father...this is my mother...this is my brother Samer, and this scar on his face since that day...and this Dana... with her braids hanging over her shoulders... and this... this... who is this?? It's my world... My spoiled little darling... My precious child... My heartbeat... Raghad is standing next to me holding my leg... She wanted me to carry her, but I preferred to take the picture while she was standing next to me... And In this picture... with her coloring book... How beautiful is her... How beautiful is her light, soft hair... How I love to stroke her head... How soft the texture is... I wiped with my hand... I felt rough.. The roughness of the bed on which I lay my body... The roughness of the reality in which I live... I raised my hand and stared at my comfort... and saw the dust and grains of sand that stuck to the bed... I screamed... I suddenly cried against my will. .. “Goodness… Take me back to prosperity… Get me out of here…” In the morning… I get up from my bed with laziness, boredom and frustration. The hateful place and I feel that I was cleaner before I entered it, and I go to where we are served breakfast ... and any breakfast ... Instead of my mother's tea and her delicious delicacies, which I used to eat to the full, he gives us a bad-tasting drink I can't judge it as tea, coffee, or any other drink else ...

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