Deepest Pit Of Mind: Silent Battle
Depression
Leaf
This experience that I will share this time, was from my current year in secondary, third year.
Leaf
It was the month of September when I felt it again.
Leaf
I did research and I found out that it was depression.
Leaf
But still, I didn't told my parents about it.
Leaf
What I felt that time was worse than the past months.
Leaf
And at the same time, I heard a bad news from my adviser.
Leaf
It was all about my grade in her subject... it was critical but not line of 7.
Leaf
In our school there is a law that if you got 84 and below you will not be able to get an award at the end of the school year.
Leaf
So everything my parents' reaction and what they told me flashed back.
Leaf
My adviser asked me if I am mad at her and I answered no.
Leaf
But the fact that my parents would be disappointed on me because of that is what made me burst into tears.
Leaf
My adviser was shocked about it. She just hugged me and asked me if what was wrong, and I told everything.
Leaf
Luckily she helped me maintain the required grade for the honor.
Leaf
And that made it worse.
Leaf
But the sadness didn't fade.
Leaf
I don't know why but I also feel useless, a waste and many more.
Leaf
And that was the first time I thought of killing myself
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