Decision

I hope something is too high, that's right .........., I should never know of something taboo, I trust the wrong person. I believe too much, I love too much, I hope too much and I fall too deep, it is true that people say, don't over do it to get something because it will hurt you more.

Now I don't care what will happen next, I don't care about anything anymore, thanks to you I realize and thanks to you also what I believe to be true. I will stop and close all the gaps for something called love, thanks to you I know that love is an illusion that I created bu myself, I expect you to end up hurting so badly.

I don't blame you, it's my own fault, I'm not hard at trying, I hate my self cause to weak. I will return to my old choices, correct what you say " love only refers to one reason, love is an illusion like a dream which means a meaningless hope, I hate this world as much as I hate being loved, I hate come close to you because I know it feels lonely, you're just the person who can make me go back to my old self, but that doesn't change the fact that I hate myself and try to kill my sadness, remember honey, when I won't be able to find you later something called love but don't ever beg for it, if you think you will have it then you are wrong, you will receive deep pain like the way of a blade on the skin ".(dewa)

I will make my own decisions, simple, I will follow what you teach me, that way maybe I can know it feels very fragile. That feeling proved real, now I am no different from my former self, maybe even more obsessed with death.

Remember, I was just a bad memory for people, me and my life have long died, me and my life have long given up, my life is only in the past, the most beautiful painful period for me to remember, every day I hate my life more and more, every day I'm getting sicker and i don't know where the pain is. Pain that is never treated is widening wider and deeper.

I decided to end my own story, I don't know when it was but for sure I will make it happen, and finally I will free from all these painful feelings, dea, the woman who gave me a lot of things, taught me all about life in brokenhome world, she a great woman who I never forget even though she's really dead but her memories will always be stored in my heart.

I turn it all back, I'm scared but I'm still moving forward with this pain, I'm both you and you don't be like an idiots out there who pretend to care but are just bullshit.

"I will become a memory and become a shooting star where I can reach you up there, I ... no, I have gone my destiny, but what can I do, I will remain in my decision, the same decision as dea take. "

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