Prologue + Chapter 1

Damn, I’m most annoyed by pretentious male leads. If they can still force a happy ending, I’ll livestream myself eating X while doing a handstand!”

Embracing the situation, Jian Li begins to implement his detailed dog transformation plan.

He joins an adventure survival reality show, determined to change the original character’s image of a male version of Lin Daiyu, with an abnormal aesthetic of being white, young, and thin, which made him hated online. He’s determined to become a strong, iron-willed man.

So,

Before the show starts,

—— Look at that sickly physique, so weak, even I, a woman, could throw him over my shoulder!

After the show starts,

—— Took down two camps in half an hour? Kicking scumbags and beating up green tea b*tches? Is this really Jian Li? So violent, so awesome!

After continuously winning the title of ‘Lone Warrior’ NO.1, Jian Li becomes an internet sensation. Just as he’s about to return to his old profession as a mercenary, he’s ambushed at night.

A figure quickly approaches, a clear and magnetic voice falls near his ear, “My abs are a bit lopsided, care to give some personal guidance?”

Jian Li instinctively backs away——

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Chapter 1 Tonight, Let’s Have Two Lamb Penises for Strength

by

Chapter 1 Tonight, Let's Have Two Lamb Penises for Strength

"Warning: Dual male leads in a female-oriented novel. If you have issues with this, please click away."

"Author's logic is non-existent, stored somewhere else."

"Gentle readers, don't leave negative reviews; hit the author instead!"

"Highlight! Both MCs are clean! The original body was intact when the protagonist arrived!"

"As long as he's not dead, keep drawing blood. I'll take responsibility if anything goes wrong."

The man's voice was cold and indifferent, like an ice pick.

Jian Li slowly opened his eyes and saw a handsome face with sharp features.

He tried to speak but was interrupted by a doctor in a white coat beside him.

"Mr. Lu, your brother only has minor abrasions; there's no need for a blood transfusion."

"Is that so?" The man raised an eyebrow, "Then store the extra blood in the blood bank for future use."

Jian Li glanced at the large needle in his arm, then looked up at the man with his indifferent expression, his lips slowly parting,

"Fuck you."

"What did you say?"

The man had excellent hearing. He frowned, his gaze falling on the beautiful face on the bed, a face that evoked envy, and his expression seemed incredulous.

"I said—"

Jian Li slowly sat up while supporting himself, and calmly pulled out the needle,

"I want to give you a good punch!"

Before he finished speaking, he swiftly swung his arm and struck the man's face.

Then, taking advantage of everyone's stunned silence, he ran barefoot out of the ward.

Mao Zedong once said,

"When the enemy is strong and we are weak, strike and run."

Jian Li wasn't foolish enough to confront someone head-on after being drained of two tubes of blood...

His movements were fluid and swift, leaving no one time to react.

Only the man whose face was struck slowly straightened his neck, his eyes darkening as he stared at the rapidly disappearing slender back in the corridor, his voice low and menacing, "Let's see how long you can run!"

Jian Li ran out of the private hospital and hailed a taxi.

But as soon as he got in, he felt dizzy.

Ha,

Anyone could guess it was due to excessive blood loss.

"Draw, draw, draw," he couldn't help but curse, "If you love drawing so much, I'll slit your throat one day!"

"Damn, I hate stupid main characters!"

Yes, Jian Li had transmigrated into a novel.

In his previous life, he was a mercenary in an overseas peacekeeping force, having rescued countless refugees from war zones. But he died in a bomb blast due to betrayal by his most trusted teammate.

When he opened his eyes again, he found himself in a dual-male lead entertainment novel called "Spring Captivity," sharing the same name as one of the protagonists.

Logically, transmigrating into the protagonist should make Jian Li happy, at least better than those tragic villains who had to struggle to change their fates,

But here's the catch,

This was an old-fashioned torture novel where the original character suffered from the first chapter to the last...

The other protagonist, Lu Siqi, believed that Jian Li's mother was a homewrecker who seduced his father, destroying his once harmonious family and causing his mother to develop severe depression, ultimately leading to her suicide in the bathtub.

At six years old, he witnessed the gruesome scene when he opened the bathroom door, which led to his twisted psyche and a plan for revenge.

When he grew up and took control of the family business, he discovered that the original character, a minor celebrity, was the son of the homewrecker, who had already passed away due to illness.

Unable to vent his anger elsewhere, he poured it all onto the original character, subjecting him to various tortures, creating a dramatic plot of imprisonment and pursuit, more cruel than any in Myanmar, often leaving the original character on the brink of death...

This kind of trashy literature was meant to relieve Jian Li's pre-mission stress, but he couldn't even finish ten chapters before getting so angry he suffered from constipation, prompting him to start ranting.

How could someone be so tortured yet never retaliate or fight back? Even worse, he was manipulated into believing that suffering physically would atone for his mother's sins, and they ended up together?

Truly, it was a case of amino acid condensation—peptide bonds!

Jian Li couldn't accept it. He cursed for hours on the toilet, wishing he could send the author a knife, only to be blown up by a bomb the next day...

Alright then.

Since he's here, he might as well play along.

If he can still end up with the male lead,

He, Jian Li, would turn himself upside down to take a shit!

—

The taxi stopped in front of the apartment building, and just as he paid through his phone, the ringtone sounded.

Jian Li glanced at the caller and swiped to answer.

"Jian Li, where the hell have you been?"

"I was taken to donate blood."

One moment he had just transmigrated, the next he was knocked out.

How fucking thrilling.

If it happens again,

I'll break your legs.

His calm tone carried a hint of menace, making the agent pause before continuing, "President Lu's brother, injured again?"

Who doesn't know that President Lu's brother has panda blood?!

Such a precious individual should be well protected, but he often gets into various accidents and is a frequent guest at the hospital.

Ever since they discovered Jian Li had the same blood type, he became a mobile blood bank.

Whenever President Lu gave the order, he would be hauled off to serve as a human blood bag.

Once or twice is fine, as an act of kindness,

But being constantly dragged around like this, even a god couldn't handle it.

Thus, the originally healthy minor celebrity was visibly becoming skin and bones...

Thinking about this, the agent cautiously asked, "I just got you a spot on a reality show, an adventure survival game. Can your body handle it...?"

"Adventure survival?" Jian Li recalled for a moment, hesitantly asking, "Is it 'The Lone Hero'?"

"That's right," the agent lowered his voice, "It took a lot of effort to get you in. There are quite a few big names there, so you can just blend in as background. You might still get some screen time."

Recently, patriotic sentiment has been high, and various anti-hero reality shows have become popular.

Many celebrities see this as an opportunity to establish themselves as tough Asian heroes or heroines.

This adventure survival show, 'The Lone Hero,' planned by the central channel, promotes the slogan "Everyone Can Be a Hero." Its promotional efforts are unprecedented, and it has already garnered significant attention before airing. The guest selection alone dominated the trending topics for days—definitely a prime opportunity for minor celebrities to rise to fame.

In the original story, Jian Li also participated in this show, but due to constant forced blood donations, his health deteriorated significantly. His physical condition couldn't keep up, and he was mocked online as the male version of Lin Daiyu, a sickly and overly thin figure. His reputation plummeted, and he never recovered, eventually being imprisoned by Lu Siqi, unable to appear in public...

Recalling this, Jian Li smiled, "No problem, I can do it."

"Don't push yourself," the agent was still worried, "If not, I'll find you another gig."

"As a man, you can't say you can't do something,"

A ray of sunlight fell on Jian Li's face, making his smile brighter and more carefree,

"I'll eat two sheep's penises tonight to boost my strength."

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