Damn, I’m most annoyed by pretentious male leads. If they can still force a happy ending, I’ll livestream myself eating X while doing a handstand!”

Embracing the situation, Jian Li begins to implement his detailed dog transformation plan.

He joins an adventure survival reality show, determined to change the original character’s image of a male version of Lin Daiyu, with an abnormal aesthetic of being white, young, and thin, which made him hated online. He’s determined to become a strong, iron-willed man.

So,

Before the show starts,

—— Look at that sickly physique, so weak, even I, a woman, could throw him over my shoulder!

After the show starts,

—— Took down two camps in half an hour? Kicking scumbags and beating up green tea b*tches? Is this really Jian Li? So violent, so awesome!

After continuously winning the title of ‘Lone Warrior’ NO.1, Jian Li becomes an internet sensation. Just as he’s about to return to his old profession as a mercenary, he’s ambushed at night.

A figure quickly approaches, a clear and magnetic voice falls near his ear, “My abs are a bit lopsided, care to give some personal guidance?”

Jian Li instinctively backs away——

______________________________________________

Chapter 1 Tonight, Let’s Have Two Lamb Penises for Strength

by

Chapter 1 Tonight, Let's Have Two Lamb Penises for Strength

"Warning: Dual male leads in a female-oriented novel. If you have issues with this, please click away."

"Author's logic is non-existent, stored somewhere else."

"Gentle readers, don't leave negative reviews; hit the author instead!"

"Highlight! Both MCs are clean! The original body was intact when the protagonist arrived!"

"As long as he's not dead, keep drawing blood. I'll take responsibility if anything goes wrong."

The man's voice was cold and indifferent, like an ice pick.

Jian Li slowly opened his eyes and saw a handsome face with sharp features.

He tried to speak but was interrupted by a doctor in a white coat beside him.

"Mr. Lu, your brother only has minor abrasions; there's no need for a blood transfusion."

"Is that so?" The man raised an eyebrow, "Then store the extra blood in the blood bank for future use."

Jian Li glanced at the large needle in his arm, then looked up at the man with his indifferent expression, his lips slowly parting,

"Fuck you."

"What did you say?"

The man had excellent hearing. He frowned, his gaze falling on the beautiful face on the bed, a face that evoked envy, and his expression seemed incredulous.

"I said—"

Jian Li slowly sat up while supporting himself, and calmly pulled out the needle,

"I want to give you a good punch!"

Before he finished speaking, he swiftly swung his arm and struck the man's face.

Then, taking advantage of everyone's stunned silence, he ran barefoot out of the ward.

Mao Zedong once said,

"When the enemy is strong and we are weak, strike and run."

Jian Li wasn't foolish enough to confront someone head-on after being drained of two tubes of blood...

His movements were fluid and swift, leaving no one time to react.

Only the man whose face was struck slowly straightened his neck, his eyes darkening as he stared at the rapidly disappearing slender back in the corridor, his voice low and menacing, "Let's see how long you can run!"

Jian Li ran out of the private hospital and hailed a taxi.

But as soon as he got in, he felt dizzy.

Ha,

Anyone could guess it was due to excessive blood loss.

"Draw, draw, draw," he couldn't help but curse, "If you love drawing so much, I'll slit your throat one day!"

"Damn, I hate stupid main characters!"

Yes, Jian Li had transmigrated into a novel.

In his previous life, he was a mercenary in an overseas peacekeeping force, having rescued countless refugees from war zones. But he died in a bomb blast due to betrayal by his most trusted teammate.

When he opened his eyes again, he found himself in a dual-male lead entertainment novel called "Spring Captivity," sharing the same name as one of the protagonists.

Logically, transmigrating into the protagonist should make Jian Li happy, at least better than those tragic villains who had to struggle to change their fates,

But here's the catch,

This was an old-fashioned torture novel where the original character suffered from the first chapter to the last...

The other protagonist, Lu Siqi, believed that Jian Li's mother was a homewrecker who seduced his father, destroying his once harmonious family and causing his mother to develop severe depression, ultimately leading to her suicide in the bathtub.

At six years old, he witnessed the gruesome scene when he opened the bathroom door, which led to his twisted psyche and a plan for revenge.

When he grew up and took control of the family business, he discovered that the original character, a minor celebrity, was the son of the homewrecker, who had already passed away due to illness.

Unable to vent his anger elsewhere, he poured it all onto the original character, subjecting him to various tortures, creating a dramatic plot of imprisonment and pursuit, more cruel than any in Myanmar, often leaving the original character on the brink of death...

This kind of trashy literature was meant to relieve Jian Li's pre-mission stress, but he couldn't even finish ten chapters before getting so angry he suffered from constipation, prompting him to start ranting.

How could someone be so tortured yet never retaliate or fight back? Even worse, he was manipulated into believing that suffering physically would atone for his mother's sins, and they ended up together?

Truly, it was a case of amino acid condensation—peptide bonds!

Jian Li couldn't accept it. He cursed for hours on the toilet, wishing he could send the author a knife, only to be blown up by a bomb the next day...

Alright then.

Since he's here, he might as well play along.

If he can still end up with the male lead,

He, Jian Li, would turn himself upside down to take a shit!

—

The taxi stopped in front of the apartment building, and just as he paid through his phone, the ringtone sounded.

Jian Li glanced at the caller and swiped to answer.

"Jian Li, where the hell have you been?"

"I was taken to donate blood."

One moment he had just transmigrated, the next he was knocked out.

How fucking thrilling.

If it happens again,

I'll break your legs.

His calm tone carried a hint of menace, making the agent pause before continuing, "President Lu's brother, injured again?"

Who doesn't know that President Lu's brother has panda blood?!

Such a precious individual should be well protected, but he often gets into various accidents and is a frequent guest at the hospital.

Ever since they discovered Jian Li had the same blood type, he became a mobile blood bank.

Whenever President Lu gave the order, he would be hauled off to serve as a human blood bag.

Once or twice is fine, as an act of kindness,

But being constantly dragged around like this, even a god couldn't handle it.

Thus, the originally healthy minor celebrity was visibly becoming skin and bones...

Thinking about this, the agent cautiously asked, "I just got you a spot on a reality show, an adventure survival game. Can your body handle it...?"

"Adventure survival?" Jian Li recalled for a moment, hesitantly asking, "Is it 'The Lone Hero'?"

"That's right," the agent lowered his voice, "It took a lot of effort to get you in. There are quite a few big names there, so you can just blend in as background. You might still get some screen time."

Recently, patriotic sentiment has been high, and various anti-hero reality shows have become popular.

Many celebrities see this as an opportunity to establish themselves as tough Asian heroes or heroines.

This adventure survival show, 'The Lone Hero,' planned by the central channel, promotes the slogan "Everyone Can Be a Hero." Its promotional efforts are unprecedented, and it has already garnered significant attention before airing. The guest selection alone dominated the trending topics for days—definitely a prime opportunity for minor celebrities to rise to fame.

In the original story, Jian Li also participated in this show, but due to constant forced blood donations, his health deteriorated significantly. His physical condition couldn't keep up, and he was mocked online as the male version of Lin Daiyu, a sickly and overly thin figure. His reputation plummeted, and he never recovered, eventually being imprisoned by Lu Siqi, unable to appear in public...

Recalling this, Jian Li smiled, "No problem, I can do it."

"Don't push yourself," the agent was still worried, "If not, I'll find you another gig."

"As a man, you can't say you can't do something,"

A ray of sunlight fell on Jian Li's face, making his smile brighter and more carefree,

"I'll eat two sheep's penises tonight to boost my strength."

Chapter 2 Helping Him Become the MVP of the Nine Sons Struggle for the Throne

by

Chapter 2 Helping Him Become the MVP of the Nine Sons Struggle for the Throne

"Hisss—" The agent suddenly drew out his syllables. "You seem different somehow, kid."

This unrestrained tone...

It was a stark contrast to his previous submissive and compliant demeanor.

Could it be that he's been driven mad by President Lu?

A last burst of energy before the end?

The entertainment industry is too chaotic to think too much about it.

Agent Li Lu only knew that Jian Li needed money, and all he could do was provide opportunities as best he could.

After all, this was a talent he had personally discovered.

If he were truly ruined, it would be a waste of that face that appeals to everyone!

"Don't get too excited yet. Before filming starts, all participants must pass a physical fitness test. You need to train hard, or you'll be eliminated," Li Lu said worriedly.

But Jian Li's voice was nonchalant. "Don't worry, this variety show won't eliminate me."

After all, Lu Siqi had already made meticulous preparations, determined to blacken the original body in this show, making it easier to control him at will.

Even if he didn't want to participate, he would be forced into it...

After hanging up the phone and returning to the apartment, Jian Li took off his clothes and went straight into the bathroom.

He planned to take a shower and perk up.

Passing by the mirror above the sink, he instinctively stopped and turned around.

That face identical to his own reflected back at him.

Amber eyes, veiled with a layer of misty moisture, a straight nose, full and tempting lips, sharp yet slightly soft features, slightly upturned eyes that seemed to smile but not quite, all bathed in the dim light, making his features appear even more exquisite and beautiful...

Beautiful almost beyond being a man.

This was the exact words of Jian Li's teammate.

He remembered flipping out on the spot when he heard this, turning around and punching his teammate. "Who the hell are you calling not a man?!"

Mercenaries often fought, so no one thought much of it.

But Jian Li took it to heart and became a workaholic from then on.

Not only did he top all KPI evaluations, earning the title of the most feared mercenary of the year, but there was even a movie based on him, shooting the first gun battle film about peacekeeping forces, aiming to create China's own superhero...

In his past life, he proved himself to be a tough guy with abs and shark lines through his actions.

But what was the result?

All the hard training turned to nothing after crossing over.

Feeling frustrated, Jian Li poked his thin waist, muttering, "With this physique, who else but you would be dominated?!"

After saying this, he suddenly raised his arm and swung a punch at the mirror.

Professional fighting moves.

Though lacking in strength, the technique was still there.

Satisfied, Jian Li nodded and stepped back. "Alright, I'll recover gradually."

The hellish training mode was deeply ingrained in his mind. Even if he encountered someone whose arms shook like butterfly wings during push-ups, Jian Li was confident he could turn them into the MVP of the Nine Sons Struggle for the Throne in a short time.

—

After a quick shower, Jian Li picked up his phone, intending to order some kidney supplements, but just as he settled into the sofa, the iron door of the apartment was pounded loudly.

"Jian Li, come out here."

"Don't pretend to be dead; I know you're inside!"

"I told you to listen to President Lu, but you had to cause trouble. Now he's suing you for intentional harm and demanding a million in compensation!"

"You haven't paid off your old debts, and now you've added new ones. Jian Li, you worthless piece of trash, do you want to die?!"

The nagging voice made Jian Li roll his eyes.

He almost forgot that, as the protagonist of a tragic novel, besides being tormented by the male lead, he also had a bunch of terrible relatives and scum popping up at any moment.

And the man outside the door, spouting nonsense, was none other than the original body's father, a compulsive gambler with many debts, who had sent his son to bed with Lu Siqi to pay off those debts...

Without waiting for more abuse, Jian Li yanked open the door and kicked him in the stomach without a word.

Lacking strength, he made up for it with technique.

"You—"

Jian Jingfeng couldn't catch his breath and stumbled backward several steps.

He felt as if the kick had hit his heart, causing excruciating pain.

After a while, he finally looked up and glared at Jian Li viciously. "You dare kick your father? Are you tired of living?"

As he spoke, Jian Jingfeng gritted his teeth and rushed forward, raising his hand to strike.

The domestic violence moves were so skillful, as if practiced for years, seemingly flawless.

But before he could get close, Jian Li grabbed his wrist three inches from the target, and an instant wave of weakness spread throughout his body.

"Ouch—"

"Let go!"

Jian Jingfeng's face twisted in pain, his mind reeling with confusion. He couldn't understand how his son, who used to wet himself at the sound of his shouts, had suddenly become so ferocious.

"How? Can't figure it out?" Jian Li slapped his free hand against Jian Jingfeng's face. "A weak coward finally fighting back?"

He revealed his pearly whites with a nonchalant smile. "Apologies, I am now Jian Li, the Niuhulu."

"If you don't want to end up in a box early, behave yourself!"

After delivering the threat, he pushed hard.

The original father fell on his butt, looking menacing but not daring to approach again. "You, you wait and see!"

With that, Jian Jingfeng scrambled away.

Having settled matters with his despicable father, Jian Li shut the door and started devising his plan for the transformation of his delicate dog.

Time flew by.

After twenty days of intensive training, the audition day finally arrived.

He stepped on the gas pedal of his second-hand domestic car, drove into the underground parking lot of the reality show preparation hotel, and took the elevator straight to the physical fitness testing hall.

The moment he entered the venue, strange looks came from all around, including the live-streaming cameras.

The chat exploded:

"Laughing, is Jian Li really daring to participate in this real-life survival game show?"

"Look at that frail physique; I could throw him over my shoulder!"

"Does sponsor Lu Siqi know? Will he allow him to appear in public? Won't he break his legs?"

"Heard he's been played out, his body is too weak. He'll definitely be eliminated in the physical test!"

Jian Li walked to the preparation area, collected his number, and sat down on the waiting chair.

When he looked up again, he noticed a commotion at the entrance, as if an important figure was about to appear.

The live-stream viewers recognized who it was and became instantly excited.

"Is Emperor Hu here? Wasn't he filming overseas? How does he have time for the test?"

"As expected of CCTV, they always deliver. With Emperor Hu participating, the show's ratings are guaranteed!"

"Is this Emperor Hu's first reality show appearance? What a buzz!"

"I love Emperor Hu so much. I'd be his dog, watching the live stream for 36 hours!"

"..."

Jian Li withdrew his gaze, picked up a bottle of water, took a sip, and then curled his lips in disdain,

"Is being flashy useful? These fine dogs in the entertainment industry might even train their abs wrong..."

Before he finished speaking, he felt a tall shadow looming over him.

Jian Li froze, then looked up to see that aggressive face, followed by a clear, magnetic voice,

"Do you think my abs are trained wrong?"

"Would you like to personally guide me?"

"Ha, no," Jian Li's smile was mechanical. "...better not."

After all,

having the strongest mercenary as a coach

comes at a different price!

Chapter 3: Thought It Was a Sewage Truck Exploding, Turned Out It Was You Talking

by

Chapter 3: Thought It Was a Sewage Truck Exploding, Turned Out It Was You Talking

As the two exchanged sharp glances, the live chat exploded.

"Can Jian Li have some shame? He's skinny as a dog and still dares to question our Emperor Huo? Even if he wants to gain attention, it shouldn't be this outrageous!"

"Who doesn’t know that Emperor Huo’s training video went viral both domestically and internationally? The most famous part is his hanging tire swing in mid-air, showcasing insane core strength!"

"Raising hands! I’ve seen the video. His abs and shark lines, hehe, blush-inducing and so embarrassing! Can’t even imagine how lucky Emperor Huo’s girlfriend must be!"

"Exactly! A perfect male deity..."

Seeing the skyrocketing viewer count, the director couldn’t help but grin widely, "Great, this is exactly what we need. We've already maxed out the buzz right from the start!"

The assistant nearby looked slightly worried, "Is Jian Li really up for this? Don’t let him faint on camera like last time..."

"No choice," the director interrupted sternly, "because someone made him capable!"

The assistant didn’t need further explanation,

He could guess with his eyes closed.

Isn’t it the biggest investor behind "The Lone Hero"?!

They’ve already poured in thirty million just for advertising!

Not only are they extravagant with money, their demands are bizarre too.

They insist on exposing Jian Li’s frail and helpless image,

Ensuring he never appears on any variety show again...

To go all out to smear a minor celebrity, the assistant had never seen anything like it before.

What kind of grudge is this?!

"Stop wasting time, let’s begin the test."

At the director’s command, the assistant hurried out of the control room.

Standing in front of the candidates, he picked up the microphone, "Everyone, thank you for waiting. The only round of screening for 'The Lone Hero' is about to begin. Please start warming up. We will test your arm, waist, and leg strength, followed by a comprehensive evaluation."

"Also, I want to emphasize one point. Please maintain a calm mindset during this screening. Do not overexert yourselves. If you feel unwell, contact the on-site medical team immediately."

The assistant’s gaze lingered on Jian Li’s face, seemingly waiting for him to back down.

But after a few seconds, Jian Li remained unmoved, his prominent features filled with defiance,

As if suffering from a perpetual scowl.

Assistant, "...” Hmph, wait until you see what’s coming!

He shifted his gaze and gave a nod to the staff beside him.

Immediately, someone stepped forward, "First test—thirty push-ups. I will now call out the numbers. Those at the back, please get ready."

"One..."

"Just thirty? For those with a basic fitness level, it’s easy. Some people, however, might..."

"Stop worrying, everyone here has some foundation, don’t they?"

"That’s true. Still, worry about Jian Li. Last time during the segment, his arms were shaking like butterfly wings. I was afraid he’d fly away!"

Just as Jian Li was about to escape the awkward situation, he suddenly raised his hand, polite yet audacious, "May I ask..."

"Can I cut in line and be the first to test?"

I have more intense training tonight; no need to waste time here.

His words fell, and the venue fell silent.

Everyone looked at Jian Li as if he were an idiot.

The agent standing next to Emperor Huo, full of indignation, lowered his voice, "Brother Xiao, I told you, he’s got a screw loose! First, he tried to get attention, now he’s rushing to his death..."

The noise grated on Huo Xiao, causing his brows to furrow slightly.

He glanced sideways, and the agent immediately shut up.

The next moment, his gaze on Jian Li grew even more inscrutable.

The assistant conducting the test was also taken aback, hesitating, "I, I need to ask the others. After all, everyone’s time is precious."

The first contestant shrugged, looking like he was enjoying the spectacle, "I don’t mind, but there’s a condition. Since you’re in such a hurry, let’s do all the tests at once."

"No problem."

Jian Li put his hand in his pocket and walked to the center of the field.

Without waiting for the assistant to speak, he took off his shirt.

Then he performed standard push-ups.

Exactly thirty.

The live stream audience was stunned.

"Did I see that right? Jian Li’s physique looks much more defined now? There seems to be a thin layer of muscle..."

"Although it's not obvious, it does exist. For someone like me who dislikes super muscular guys, it's quite attractive. Coupled with that face, I actually feel like licking?!"

"Licking faces, get lost! Where’s the muscle? Can you stop talking nonsense? To me, he's still as pale and skinny! He doesn't even deserve to be in Lone Warriors!"

Jian Li stood up, clapped his hands, and turned to the assistant, "What's the next test?"

"Ah?" The assistant snapped out of his shock and hurriedly looked down at the program schedule, "The next one is the hundred-meter sprint, with a qualifying time of 12 seconds."

"Alright, the starting point is..."

Before Jian Li could finish, a sinister voice suddenly interrupted him from the entrance,

"No need to test. Jian Li should be fine at running, considering he fled after hitting someone and hasn’t been caught yet."

This commotion,

who else could it be but the main character?

Jian Li turned around with a cold face and saw Lu Siqi slowly approaching, accompanied by a shorter, pale-faced boy who looked pitiful.

"Hello seniors, my name is Lu Yuanhang. I'm Lu Siqi's younger brother. I’m here today for the test too, hoping everyone will give me some guidance." The boy bowed as he spoke, looking obedient when he lifted his head.

As soon as he finished speaking, he ran to Jian Li's side, "Brother Jian Li, you're amazing. Your physical strength is so good, you can do thirty push-ups in one go!"

As he spoke, Lu Yuanhang tried to pull Jian Li's arm in a familiar gesture.

But he was slapped away, Jian Li's exquisite face full of disdain, "I thought a sewage truck had exploded, but upon closer inspection, it’s just you talking!"

"What—what?!" Lu Yuanhang's smile froze.

Someone reacted and chuckled.

Upon hearing this, Lu Siqi became furious and quickly walked to Lu Yuanhang's side, shielding him behind him, "Jian Li, are you crazy?! How dare you talk to Xiao Hang like that?!"

Jian Li sneered, "Mr. Lu, your logic sounds like it comes straight from the gut."

"Who doesn’t know your brother relies on my blood donations to survive?"

"I’m his benefactor. How I speak to him is none of your business."

Lu Siqi’s face turned livid with anger, but noticing the live stream camera, he suppressed his emotions, "Isn’t donating blood a few times something you should do?"

"Tsk tsk," Jian Li narrowed his eyes and shook his head, "Your face is so big, it spans thousands of miles."

The comments in the live stream finally couldn’t hold back,

"Hahaha, didn’t realize Jian Li could be so sarcastic?"

"I hereby dub him the ultimate trash-talker!"

"Hehe, interesting. Suddenly looking forward to the variety show!"