Diaper Diplomacy
[Imperial Banquet Hall | 12:01 PM]
Golden goblets. Gleaming marble. Twelve foreign delegates.
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(muttering)
Crown Prince Kael 👑
Why is he quiet? He’s never quiet.⊙.☉
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
Your Highness, if I may—babies silence themselves before—
Crown Prince Kael 👑
Oh no.
Aster Baby
[smiling sweetly] (＾∇＾)ﾉ 💩
Ambassador Xu (from the East):
What… is that smell?
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(stone-faced)
Crown Prince Kael 👑
... Diplomatic immunity.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
(panicked)ミ●﹏☉ミ
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
The baby has detonated. I repeat: we have a code brown.
Do we abort the treaty!?
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
(stepping in calmly)
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
I’ll handle it.
Crown Prince Kael 👑
You what?
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
The last time you tried, he ended up wearing the diaper like a crown.
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
Just give me the wipes.
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(mutters)😾
Crown Prince Kael 👑
This is an international disgrace.
Aster Baby
Giggles while drawing a volcano
[Side Room: Behind Curtain]
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
(changing the diaper like a battle medic)
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
Why does this child smell like royal doom?
Aster Baby
[draws on Lior’s wrist with pudding]
Aster Baby
✨ Symbol: A falling tower. Blood moon. Firebird crest. ✨
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
(pauses)
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
…This isn’t a drawing.
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
It’s a warning.
[Meanwhile – In the Hall]
Ambassador Xu (from the East):
Is your heir… always like this?
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(sits straighter, eyes cold)
Crown Prince Kael 👑
He’s a child, not a weapon.❄️❄️❄️
Ambassador Xu (from the East):
And yet—his arrival shifted three noble houses, broke a scrying orb, and caused two alliances to mysteriously vanish.❄️❄️
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(voice low)
Crown Prince Kael 👑
If you think my son is a tool for your kingdom to study…
Crown Prince Kael 👑
Then perhaps we are at war.⚔️❄️❄️❄️
Crown Prince Kael 👑
I suggest you enjoy your fruit tart.❄️❄️
[Minutes Later – Lior Returns]
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
He’s clean. He also… gave me this.
Lior Aurelian the Grand Duke🗡️
[Unrolls the pudding-drawn symbol again: firebird, blood moon, crumbling tower.]
Crown Prince Kael 👑
(staring)
Crown Prince Kael 👑
That’s House Veltrin’s crest… they died out a hundred years ago.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
(terrified)(｡ŏ﹏ŏ)
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
But not before swearing revenge on the crown…
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