Drive Me Crazy, Literally
Zain driving chaos
Zain
Papa... come on. Just ten minutes. I swear on Dada’s skincare routine I’ll be careful
Zade
Don’t drag my glow into your death wish
Zain
Zadd pleaseee, you said you want me to grow up—let me do man things
Ales
Man things don’t include crashing into mailboxes
Zain
I’ll be careful! Promise! Pinky swear with extra guilt
Ales
.....Fine. But one scratch, and you’re walking home in socks
Zain
YES! Outta the way peasants! The king is taking the wheel!
Zade
King? You drive like a court jester
Five minutes later, Zain is driving. Zade in the backseat looking dead. Ales in passenger seat regretting life.
Zain
See? Smooth. Elegant. Like butter sliding down a hot dosa
Zade
You’re in the middle of two lanes
Ales
Stay in one lane before I yeet you into the other
Zain
I got this! Watch how I overtake this slow grandpa car—
Zade
That’s a cop. Sit down, Vin Diesel
Zain
I got nerves of steel
Ales
You have the brain of a deflated balloon
Zain turns to look at them while talking.
Zain
I’m literally doing amazing right now—
CRASH!!
Thump. Zain’s car hits a trash can. It flies. Drama. Honk. A dog barks in the distance.
Zain
...I think it was already dead?
Zade
You hit a THUMB-SIZED trash can, dumbass. How?? It wasn’t even moving!
Ales
GET OUT. GET. OUT OF THE SEAT. NOW
Zain
But I only sneezed for like one second—
Zade
You sneezed, blinked, looked at us, and took the CAN on a honeymoon
Ales
New rule. Zain drives never. Not even a toy car. Not even in dreams
Zain
Wow. I try to grow, and y’all crush my soul
Zade
You crushed that can’s soul
Ales
Pray that was the only thing
Zain, Zade, and Ales standing by the roadside, trying (and failing) to get help after the trashcan-crashing disaster
Zain
Okay, slight hiccup in the journey. But look! I parked it... eventually
Zade
Into a pole. You parked it into a pole
Ales
Now we’re stranded. In the middle of nowhere. With zero network. With you
Zain
Look on the bright side! At least we’re bonding?
Zade
Don’t talk to me unless a car appears or I do
Zain sticks out his thumb to hitchhike as cars whiz by.
Zain
Hey! Friendly stranded faces here! Possibly hot if you squint!
Zade
Don’t advertise us like we’re on discount
Ales
Lower your shirt. We’re not that desperate yet
Zain
What if I cry? People usually stop for crying boys
Zade
Not when the crying boy looks like he just committed arson
Zain
Wow. I feel so supported
A car slows down… and zooms past.
Zain
They made eye contact with me and STILL left??
Zade
Even strangers sense the chaos in your aura.
Ales
I think you scared them off. Maybe less 'lost puppy', more 'not wanted criminal'?
Zain
Okay, wow. Y’all roast me like I’m tonight’s barbecue
Zade
You’re the main course
Ales
And dessert’s your driving license. Oh wait—you don’t have one
Another car approaches. Zain runs to the road, arms waving like a madman.
Zain
HELLOOO! FAMILY IN NEED! GOOD HAIR AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
Zade
Give reviews and ignore the mistakes
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