Walking on egg shells

Austin stood there, frozen, as Xander's words echoed in his mind. He realized, with a sinking feeling, that he had to be careful—every word, every action mattered now. One wrong move, one wrong phrase, and Xander’s PTSD could spiral out of control again. The way Xander had become fixated on him, the way his emotions fluctuated between love and rage, made Austin realize how fragile the situation was. He couldn’t just act impulsively anymore; he had to walk on eggshells.

A knot tightened in Austin’s stomach as he thought about how easily Xander could snap, his mental state so precarious that Austin felt like he was living on the edge of a razor blade. If he said the wrong thing, if he made Xander feel threatened or rejected, it could trigger another episode—one that might not just end with him being pushed away. No, it could end in something far worse.

Austin sighed, rubbing his temples. He had always been outspoken, had always said whatever was on his mind. But now? Now, he had to think before he spoke, weigh every word, measure every gesture. His actions mattered. His words mattered.

As he pondered his next move, Xander’s absence left an uncomfortable silence in the room. Austin didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts, but there was nothing he could do. He wasn’t sure if he could ever go back to the way things were, but it didn’t matter. All he could do now was survive, stay cautious, and pray that Xander’s obsessions didn’t get the better of him.

The door creaked open, and Austin turned to find Xander returning with a tray of food. There was a slight tension in his movements, but Austin didn’t dare comment on it. Xander set the food down on the table with a soft sigh, his eyes still locked on Austin, as if waiting for a reaction.

"Here," Xander said, his tone still heavy with an unspoken desire. "I thought you might be hungry."

Austin gave a small nod, feeling the weight of Xander’s gaze on him. He couldn’t help but notice how much more intense it had become. The food on the tray—some fruits, bread, and a drink—looked appetizing, but Austin didn’t feel like eating. His stomach was a tight knot of anxiety.

"Thank you," Austin murmured, trying to sound as calm as possible, his voice a little shaky. "But... I’m not really hungry right now."

Xander’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Austin’s heart skipped a beat. He had to be careful. The slightest misstep and everything could spiral out of control.

"Not hungry?" Xander repeated softly, almost with disbelief. Then, his gaze softened, and he stepped closer, brushing a lock of Austin’s hair away from his face. "You need to eat, Austin. You can’t just go without food."

Austin froze, the warmth of Xander’s hand on his skin sending a wave of discomfort through him. He couldn’t afford to push Xander away, not in this fragile state. But at the same time, he couldn’t pretend everything was fine.

"I will... later," Austin said, his voice low, careful. "I just need a moment."

Xander didn’t press further, but the unspoken tension remained thick in the air. He simply nodded, though his gaze never left Austin. Austin knew that Xander was still watching him closely, his obsession simmering just beneath the surface, and that in itself was enough to make Austin’s stomach churn.

As Xander stepped back and sat down, Austin quietly took a deep breath, praying that his words and actions wouldn’t push Xander further into his PTSD-fueled spiral.

To be continued

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