He questioned himself. Why am I like this. Why did I ruin my family? Why do I like boys? What did I do wrong? Where did it all go wrong? Why couldn’t I just like girls? Why did I have to be like this?
The months that took him to understand and accept his feelings were flushed down the toilet and thrown out of the window. Jungkook hated himself for being who he was.
Inflicting pain felt numb on himself when he felt all sorts from his parents.
In a way, he felt he had something he could grasp and control as he hurts himself—through it he had control of stopping rather than begging for his life, crying or screaming at the mercy of his parents.
He felt in control. He needed someone to be in control of.
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