Laura

LAURA

by

MVMANALO/VICKY MANALO

P.E,R,K,S,/MVM Copyright

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“Every once in a while I see her smile…., I hear Christopher Cross’ song on repeat while I rub my tummy. I am about to deliver a beautiful baby and decided to name her Laura. She was a wonderful angel but there’s something with her that I couldn’t help but notice. Normal girls would flinch, cry or react gravely when they get hurt or suffer broken leg, arm or bruises from bike rides or lost tooth. But with Laura, she seemed composed and don’t cry, shout or overreact over pain, broken bones or even when her uncle asked her to kill a chicken for Thanksgiving dinner. That was the first time I saw her not blink and just smiled when she saw the chicken’s head flowing with blood all over the table and even touched it with ease.

When I was younger I may have my share of bad habits like bullying kids in our block, throwing stones at them until they bleed or sticking a pencil on my classmates finger when I got angry once in a while. My parents would bring me to psychiatrists and been medicated for almost 10 years until I met Laura’s dad, Gary. He was a good man, God bless his soul and tolerated my craziness. I miss him so much that when he died due to an accident I drowned myself in rum. But a good news came that even if I was smoking and drinking I learned that I was pregnant and stopped everything I was doing to protect my baby and deliver her healthy. And so I thought!

Tan, tanantan, tan tan tan tan, tan tananan tan!, the song playing is entitled “Togetherness” by Little Nightmare box with Mono, six and the Tin Man series and game. I love this music, it eases my mind and heart but not my soul. Mine is always restless, searching for something or some one to fill in a void in it, in me. I like seeing kids bump into something then bleed from it and also love to see people in an accident or shooting, ,like it soothes my soul, keeps my mind at ease especially when they bleed and shout in pain. And when they die, that’s the interesting part, I love the autopsies and cutting of skin, like cutting meat from poultry or meat factories. I watch a lot of You Tubes on these and it excites me to see people get hurt and bleed to death.

I don’t know why but I just do. Mom said that it’s not good to feel this because pain is a natural feeling but inflicting pain to others isn’t normal. But who is? Normal?

As I was growing up, mom used to love watching horror flicks and films such as Tin Man, Saw, The Boogie Man and women assassins such as Resident Evil and Killing Eve. But I never liked suspense or horror scenes. What I am interested in is watching strange films such as Silence of the Lambs, Carrie, Annabelle, Chucky and more. I am fascinated by cutting skins and seeing it bleed like I want to smell, eat and see these skins, and how fluffy, soft to munch as they looked vulnerable, pale, lifeless, dead. And when I touch these delicate, smooth skins, I flip and my mind would turn into a powerful haze like I get aroused with them, with beautiful and wonderful smell of skins. As I grew up I had several instances that pricking the arm of my classmate with a newly sharpened pencil or punching one of my girlfriends when we had a petty fight since she called me ‘psycho’ in 8th grade, is a soothing thing. Her nose bled profusely and it felt good seeing the blood flow from her nose. She stopped me from touching her nose and shouted for help but I covered her mouth so as not to be seen with her on this momentous day of my life. Her eyes grew wide when I tried to touch her broken nose and peered through it, smelled the blood flowing from it and licked it. Ahhhhh!!!, blood, brokenness and skin bruised and all red, I love it, I wanted to see more so I took my hand off her mouth, which she nervously avoided then looked at me and asked why I am doing it. I said, I love her and she can go to the clinic now. Thank you!. She was my best friend I think since  3rd grade and I really liked her a lot, but when she ran to call for help, she looked at me and said it again. You are really crazy, Laura!

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